I really wish I knew why I had to meet Gina first, before I met Fola.
I'm thinking about this, and I can't come up with any answer other than to know that the next good person that comes into a relationship with me, should not be taken for granted.
Had I met her now, she would be a complete breath of fresh air. I would've stood by her all the way and do my best to make us into the people we are more wanting to be.
But obviously, this is not the case.
This morning, I was still shaking my head over Fola. Luckily, my orientation was scheduled for tomorrow and not today, so I went to the park and did some reading and thinking.
She is not a good person. I have to keep reminding myself. No values. No compassion. No empathy.
Unable or unwilling to really love another human being. Even her own child.
Got her husband into polyamory, doesn't pay back her debts, doesn't put anyone else's interests ahead of her own immediate gratification, and is the biggest hypocrite that I have ever met. Let alone dated.
I'm sure I can think of more bad things to say about her, but I don't need to. All I can do is remind myself that I am worth more than to be with someone like her.
I am worth more.
And the next girl I manage to hit things off with, is going to be a lucky one. And so will I be. Because I am ready, now. I understand my worth. I know better than to be placing someone up on a pedestal, and I had to learn that message multiple times.
I think I've got it now, but I'm not sure. I'll need to put it in practice first.
So, universe. God. Creator of all that there is.
Bring her on.
