I'm in bed right now and going over my early posts from the beginning of the year, where I first met Fola.
What an eye opener.
Huh.
I wasn't as smitten by her immediately as I thought. Our connection wasn't completely deep in the early days, and I was doing a fantastic job of keeping objective and detached.
And even though I've only read a small handful of posts; it is so obvious how much conflict and uncertainty she has been bringing to the relationship from the very beginning of when it started.
I was only really smitten, when she first spent the night at my place.
Now I'm thinking that she can't possibly be my soulmate. No way. Oops, I meant twin flame. She's not my twin flame, but she's definitely a soulmate.
She's not the one for me.
Huh.
But...
Hmm.
And.. Yeah. I'm going back to reading more.
I'm starting to think that it was me, who made things the way they were in the relationship. I allowed for that deeper connection. Of course she had a part to play as well, but all she needed to be was receptive.
I was the active one.
I made everything special.
Hmm.
My imagination has gotten the better of me. I was having chains wrapped around me without even realizing they were there.
And she placed them on.
Heh. I was played.
Interesting.
But perhaps I played her.
Tic for tac.
Hmmmmmmmm. Very interesting how she managed to make me lose sight of my detachment and keeping true to who I am.
I was right, though. Early on I predicted that I wouldn't have a broken heart if we broke up, and I don't.
I predicted we would go to Arizona as well.
Huh.
Going back to reading. I'll write more thoughts tomorrow. We'll see what else I can spot from what I wrote.
Yeah.
I made us into who we were.
It was me.
