Landed in camp last night. Six hour drive from the city, and it wasn't that great. My power outlet is around six feet from the bed, and so I can't lay down and listen to music while my phone is charging. I also can't read a book in bed, because there's no light above my head, and so I have to sit at a desk.
And then there is the constant noise of a power generator outside that completely undermines the peace and tranquility I was hoping to have.
(sighs) And today, I was pretty well forced into signing this CLAC piece of paper that says I agree with them and what they do. I don't. And I will be rescinding that paper as soon as I'm finished with this job.
What a life. All I can think of is how much I miss home, and how good it felt during the best times I've shared with Fola.
And... I'm trying, but I can't seem to think of much for ideas as to how else I can make an income than to do stuff like this. I need to write a book. I have half finished ones, and finished ones that could be worked on. I think this is really my only option at the moment. Apart from joining an MLM scheme.
(sighs) I miss love. Loving someone. Being happy and content with my situation. But, survival. I have to earn money to survive. And to prosper, I'll need money also.
I feel almost threatened by tears as I write this. Looking at people around here who are older than I am, and doing this kind of work for the majority of their lives.
That's not right. It's not optional, either, but when you're caught in a money trap, it's so hard to escape.
Debt. Mortgages. Families to support. Bills.
We're all slaves to the system. Every one of us. Except for those that have inherited wealth, or have the means to remove themselves and to pursue their dreams.
I... Don't even feel like I belong here. I am so out of place. Guys covered in tattoos. Redneck types. Immigrants. I mean, I have my buddy Justin here with me, but he's suffering from the same resentment towards this lifestyle as I am.
Something needs to be done. I can't go on longer like this. But I am, because it feels like I haven't a choice.
And...
(sighs)
All I can think of is to write a book. I can't afford to get education necessary to move onto something more fitting and interesting and pays well.
But, is a book all I can think of doing? And which one should I pursue?
