Well, second day on the job. Started off with my waking up at 450am instead of 411am. Heard the alarm going off on my phone, but the noise outside and the deep sleep I was in; had me rushing like a madman to get my clothes on, to shave, pack up and grab lunch all before 515 when the buses start to arrive.
It was a strange night of sleep, actually. As I fell asleep last night, I started to dream of Fola. I dreamed I was sneaking through a house she was in, and it was dark. As I passed a couch, I could see her laying down and there was a white guy on top of her. Apparently they were having sex.
Seeing this, I snuck by and went into a basement. For some reason, I wanted to find a spot to hide, and I did. Everything was dark, and I felt I was well hidden.
Not more than a dream minute later, Fola appeared, and found where I was. We then went upstairs where I sat on a comfortable chair. Everything was still dark.
Ivy, her daughter then comes up and notices me vaping. She then asks, "can I try your pipe?" and I remembered being impressed that I could hear her so clearly and that she spoke so well. The top of my vape then breaks, and I tossed it aside.
Then, Ivy leaves and as Fola still sits on my right; this white guy, probably the same one from before, comes up to me from behind, and starts inspecting me. He was smelling my hair and touching the top of my head, as if assessing a threat. His eyes were really deep and searching. And it was determined that I wasn't any threat at all to Fola and him.
That was when I immediately woke up. No more than ten minutes had passed from when I fell asleep. Something inside of me forced me to open my eyes and to stop dreaming. I remembered how surprised I was to see the dream unfold so smoothly and quickly in such a short period of time.
I was puzzled by this sequence of events. The dream couldn't be analyzed, and I spent a few minutes thinking about it before going back to bed.
Broken vape? Quit smoking. Guy on Fola? Jealously. Guy inspecting me? Hmm. Not sure. There was an element of fear involved, and the darkness was strange.
I don't know, man.
It's hard to think now. Dustin, this other guy I'm in orientation with is constantly talking to me and I am not paying him any attention as I am typing. Some people just have this strange need to hear their own voice, regardless of who is around. Kind of annoying, but I'm not stressing out too much about it.
He's really talking up a storm. (sighs) some story about him getting a ride from someone, and not having money to buy a drink, etc. He's native. Constantly talking about women, and showing me pictures of them.
Well. I'm really feeling a heat in my chest today. Also feel it in my ears and in the forehead region. It has to be Fola related. That text I sent her must have had some effect. I don't know.
Everything is so strange.
Dustin is still talking. So hard to concentrate.
Don't really want to be here. He's laughing at his own jokes while I'm staring down at the phone.
Meh.
Life goes on. Must endure it. Must look at it in a brighter light.
Got to be strong. Got to keep moving. And believing. And keeping faith.
And figure out what my next career move will be.
A book.
So hard to write a good book.
I'm going to see if any signs will be pointing me in that direction.
Got to make sure, somehow, that this is what I am destined for.
Lord only knows, because I really don't.
Dustin is still talking.
Off I go.
