I spent most of it working on my blog post regarding the visit I had with two Theosophists, and the rest of the day was spent doing random odds and ends.
Towards the end of the evening, however, was where it got a bit more interesting. I went over to my mom's house, thinking that I would enjoy hanging out there with the two cats since mom hasn't come back from Poland yet.
It was great. I... I don't know. I was in this... state of mind where those two cats were highly important to me. Petting them, listening to them purr, looking into their eyes. I didn't pet them too much or too little, and both of them ended up sleeping on my chest while I read a book.
It was nice. I really enjoyed spending time with them.
She said she found my beads that I left by accident at SRF. BUT HOW?! How did she know it was me that left them in the basket, and how did she know my email?
After speaking with her further, I found out that her roommate saw me put them in and that she "confirmed" my email address with Fola.
Yeah, I didn't think to ask her how she figured I was connected with Fola, since we've only been there together once.
Beats me, man. But I would be lying if I said that I wasn't glad Fola was reminded of me. And I was doubly glad that my beads were being returned, and that I would be there in person to pick them up on Thursday.
(sighs)
Didn't think much about her yesterday, but boy, she has been on my mind somewhat today.
I keep thinking I want to message her, because I.. Yeah. I don't know. I just want to make sure she's doing okay. Why? Fuck. I still love her. Even after all that bullshit, I still want to be with her and have us work stuff out.
But.. man...
Yeah.
It is what it is. For now, or forever. Who knows.
I'm still optimistic about finding the right lady for me, though. I'm not closing my mind or eyes off to anything. Didn't get any messages on OkCupid, and that's fine. I'm not going to stress myself out over that.
I am really trying my best to trust God on this. Haven't really put my faith into Him this way for a long time now, and it's due. I am seeing small steps that appear to be leading me someplace. It may not be all happening as quick as I would like, but things are happening regardless.
I have this warm sensation coming out of my chest now. Not sure what that is supposed to mean, but I am taking it as a good sign. I remember all too well how I was feeling shortly before and during the time I was with Fola. It all was the heart. That heat was present.
This can be taken to mean one of two things:
Either Fola is feeling something in particular, or its all me.
If it's Fola, then... Well... Okay. I suppose that's good.
If it's me... Hmm. A little trickier, but I'll also take it as a good sign.
There were some studies done online about the heart's electromagnetic field and how it was thousands of times more powerful than the brain. I believe that. I believe also that there is a deeper function being carried out by the heart.
So I'm confident that something good is about to happen. Not sure what it might be or when, but something is on its way.
I won't be jinxing it by dwelling on it, or to get anxious or cocky or over-confident; so I am trying to play this down as cool as possible.
There is not much to report on today, I'm sad to say. Justin wants me to work a non-union job with him, and I am in the process of getting myself ready for it. There is an H2S course I need to be taking tomorrow morning before I can be ready for it.
And I have to write a resume. In ONE day. Fuck... Not even sure if I can pull that off.
And I honestly don't know if I want to. If I get caught working non-union, I'm going to suffer a huge 5,000$ fine. And... But...
It is an EASY job. 7 days on, 7 days off. Quality control. And I'll be working with Justin, whom I haven't had the pleasure of working along for six or seven years now.
(sighs)
I don't like being pressured into a decision, but I am in that course tomorrow. And I don't know about getting a resume done up tonight. But I will try. Hopefully.
Got into a bit of a tizzy a few hours ago. Had the impulse to clear out a bunch of stuff from my place. Clothes I no longer wear. Sorting a few things here and there. Laundry. Dishes. Etc.
Side of my head is now feeling pressure on it. That's another sign of something. Not sure what.
I'm pretty sure she is thinking or talking about me today. Or something else is going on with her. Assuming we can still connect physically with one another.
If that all sounds bananas, thats because it is. I don't have any explanation for these feelings which started around the time I met her.
Chakras opening up, or something. I don't know man.
Mom came in today. Thanked me for the flowers I left at her place. It was nice hearing her voice again, and I'll be visiting with her tomorrow. Forgot to mention that I'll be stuck in that course, though. From 8am-430pm. (sighs) Good thing it's free.
Boy... I don't know where life is taking me.
But I can't fight the current that is pulling me someplace.
Everything is happening for a reason.
Everything is serving a purpose.
Everything is connected.
I am... feeling momentum within me, even while typing this.
There is progression. And I have to pay close attention to my intuition.
Something is coming.
And I have to be ready to meet it.
Oh, and I think I saw a UFO yesterday at the park. Not too sure what to make of it. Just an unusual set of lights. Some of which were flashing. Probably was a plane, so I'm not worried about getting probed anytime soon.
Bad photos, obviously. Looked much brighter in person.
