(Pizzelle)
and can't escape from him:
(Roger @ work)
So.. 12 hours in the bag. Another day down. It wasn't a bad night. Kind of chilly, still blowing snot into an overused wad of kleenex. Still coughing.
Meh. Meh! I tell yas.
I really should be spending more time on my novel and on the story, than this blog. But, the blog is cathartic. It's a good outlet to let my thoughts fly and allow them to build up over time, rather than dispersing into the ether from where they came.
Didn't get touched at work as much today. Kind of disappointed with that. Although I did (sensibly) chuckle (inwardly) when no more than five minutes after arriving, Mike gave me a shoulder pat and a "how U doin'?" but without the Joey voice. And I don't know why there's a U there. But that's how I rollz.
Almost peed myself filling up with gas this morning. It was a tough urge to fight off. I ended up yanking out the gas hose a few cents below the 30 bucks I pre-paid it on. Just couldn't keep myself from doing the pee-pee dance. Luckily, getting back into my car squished my bladder up and kept it under control.
And getting out of my driveway, had me talking with Mike next door, who finally confronted me about not going to his birthday party a while ago. "I was working!" I said, and told him I was coming from a 12 hour shift.
"You're still alive!" he declares. And then reminds me how awesome my whistling frog is by the door.
Meh. Meh!
Didn't think of her that much last night. Which I suppose, is good. Contemplated closing my POF account, but I couldn't figure out how to do it. No rush, no worries. But it's odd that as soon as I thought about doing it, I got three notifications of people wanting to meet me. Hmph.
Well.. off for a shower and then bed. Nothing exciting to report, really. Heavy snowfall on the way, which I'll be sleeping through.
Oh, and because Justin enjoyed using his covert Sake bottle / sex toy; I ordered one for myself too. It arrived a few days ago, and the box had some terrible English on it.
"Stimulated texture and integrated syructure of the vagina. people feel more like a real young woman."
(sighs) I confess, I tried it out twice, and then threw it in the garbage. How sad of a human being am I to resort to such things? Justin has a girlfriend, and yet he still needs a sex toy? Well.. I don't understand the appeal of it. For me, sex is more than just putting your penis inside of something. It's mental, emotional, spiritual bonding.. Isn't it? At least it's supposed to be, if you put procreation aside.
Reducing sex to a mechanistic impulse, is not what people should be doing. Myself, included, and I have been guilty of this in the past enough to know that its not for me.
I just don't get it. This sort of stuff reduces the craving for sex, sure. But it doesn't replace a live human being. I know it's not supposed to either, but still.. wouldn't it be better to allow the sexual impulse to work in your favor as a motivator? At least that's how I'm playing it. It's a real energy that can be harnessed and used for positive benefit. Sexual transmutation, baby. So, using stuff like that isn't..
Hmph. What do I know? I know that I've never paid for a hooker, and I can't get off on some silicon vagina in place of a real person. It's too depressing, either of those options. Paying someone a few hundred bucks for sex, or using these toys. Meh.
Meh!
This world we live in, man. I talk to guys at work all the time about their relationships with girlfriends/wives, etc. And.. it's honestly sad, how women are thought of as disposable to most of them. There's no gushing about how much someone loves their partner. There's no spring in most people's steps. Eyes don't light up usually, whenever I start a conversation about someone's relationship.
And the strangest of people that I work with, all seem to be getting laid. That makes it worse. How can Tuck, this old guy in his 70s, still manage to find someone to sleep with, let alone having her around as a "fuck buddy" ?
I don't get it. The only saving grace of his, is his sense of humor. That's it. He's not an attractive man. Whenever he describes how Sunday is his "sex" day, I just.. feel.. saddened. I mean, he gets excited about it, and good for him I guess, but it's just a "fuck buddy" and there's nothing really there, other than what is essentially a warm hole for him to put his dick inside of.
He's not the only one with that kind of relationship too. Doug is as well, and he's in his early 50s. His "girlfriend" Cindy keeps standing him up all the time. He'd tell me all excitedly about how she's coming over tomorrow, or in a few days, and then she either doesn't show up, or she comes by for a few minutes and leaves. No sex.
"I'm tired of this," he tells me. "She better come over this time."
The way he said, "she better come over" .. well.. it wasn't a good tone.
Tip of the iceberg, though. He said more things about her, and I don't think its worth mentioning on here. Too depressing. There's no love there.
Two guys at work cheat on their wives, that I know about.
Hrmph. At least my foreman seems to have a nice girlfriend. She dressed up in lingerie for his birthday a while ago, and got him a funny tshirt.
That's about it, really.
I wish.. (sighs)...
Although no one is reading this blog, I'm sure a "reader" would know what I would be wishing for at this point.
Yeah.
Her.
Her. Her. Her.
And..
I still don't know what to do about her.
I thought about.. (sighs) I'm tired.. I need to go sleep.
Rambling time is over.
Oh, and I gave the safety lady a piece of candy, telling her that it's a good way of improving relations with the workers. Same advice I gave Gina.
And.. yeah.
Why can't I shut up about her?
