Hey.. ! Shockers. A post referencing her, again?!
Yeah, it's getting old. It's already old. Halloween is approaching, and I realize that I'm not going to get to see her kids dressed up. I'm not going to be able to surprise her with any costume of my own either.
Missed out on spending the summer together. Missed celebrating my mom's retirement with her.
It's.. been so long since I seen her last. I think it was June 13th, when we left the Costco parking lot on a Sunday. It was windy. I bought rice pudding. Forgot what she was there for, but she bought a pair of pajamas for one of her boys if I remember.
She.. kissed me the last time I saw her. And.. like a fool, I didn't appreciate it because I didn't know it was going to be the last one.
The last kiss.
Breaking up through text.. man.. such an awful thing to do to someone. I..
My imagination murders me. If there are no questions of mine being answered, then it's up to me to figure out what is actually happening. Or might have gone wrong. Or something I've said and done that could have led to being broken up like this.
My imagination is torture.
(sighs)
Well. Only a few hours left before I have to go to work. Two hours, exactly. Which means a half hour of that is going to be spent on shaving/showering/misc grooming. Then, probably 20 minutes to get my lunch made and everything ready to go.
Let's say an hour is spent on the essentials, so that leaves me with an hour to unwind.
One hour.
Got a package from Amazon as soon as I got up.
No, I wasn't. Turns out this package was for Nancy, who lives around ten houses away.
Since I opened the box up, I have no choice but to reseal it with a funny message inside and maybe a couple cans of expired food product that I have no intention of ever opening. Like beans in a tomato sauce.
Just for the laughs, of course. Both mine and probably hers.
Hrmm.
I'm going to put in a leave of absence request for Halloween this year. I need a longer weekend. I want to hand out candy.
I'd like to be able to use the scarecrows I have.
This is a dumb idea, but I would love to put on a mask and ring her doorbell for candy. Just to see her again, and she wouldn't be any bit wiser for my being there.
Of course, people would call doing this "creepy" but I don't care. Not like I'm going to be there for more than a few seconds. Just able to look into her eyes, maybe see her smile. and then leave. I'll wait for a group of kids to come up, and blend in with them.
But, I'm not going to do that. For one, I'm not going to go through all that trouble. And two, if she has the slightest suspicion that it's me, then.. well, it won't be good. Otherwise I'd look like even more than a loser than I already am.
If such a thing is even possible.
Bleh.
Besides, she's likely to go out with her kids anyways.
Shower time. Twenty minutes of meditation afterwards.
I'll probably cry like a little baby again.
(sighs)
Another new day.
Another old one.
