It's been a long, long time since I was last sick. I honestly can't remember when that was, but I'm pretty sure it was over a year ago. I rarely catch anything.
But while I'm not too sick at the moment, I don't want to get any worse, either, hence the night off and I may have to call in sick for tonight as well. Which sucks, because..
Well.. in all honesty, it doesn't really suck. I like having time off. I like not having to work while I'm having mucus drip down the back of my throat and coughing up a storm. So, no big deal. But it sucks because I'm going to have a weak paycheque coming up, and I wasn't able to rally myself to go to work regardless of how I'm feeling. Guess those are the only two things that I'm feeling down about.
So.. Another new day. It's gloomy outside, really grey and sad looking. I slept decently enough. Managed to get myself around seven hours of sleep before my "Sleep for Android" app decided to wake me up at around 11:44am because it thinks its the "optimal" time for me to be getting up.
Hmm. Maybe it is. Seems pretty early to me, though.
Now, I'm going to have to figure out what to do with my day. Especially if I'm not going to work tonight. That means my weekend has started, and I'll be having tonight/Saturday & Sunday.. so three days off to do whatever.
Honestly, there's not much left to do around the house. Clean the garage. Put away the pieces of my old bed. Organize the office upstairs.
I know I'm not going to be playing video games all day. Or watching movies, like the old version of myself would be doing.
I know I'll be thinking of her, mostly. And feeling the fear that comes with every passing day that she will think less and less of me, as time marches on. And that the longer I wait, the worse my "chances" of us getting back together would be.
Man.. I have to figure this out. But I already know the answer.
I think.
No matter what, I have to carry on with my head held up high. No matter what I feel like doing, down the road. That's paramount. I have to have respect for myself.
If I don't believe in myself, then who else would?
My mother?
And why should she have to carry the torch?
Nah. It's up to me to find out what it is that I should be proud about, and if I can't figure it out, than I should work towards feeling that way.
I suppose..
Hmm.
I'm going to have to come up with a goal or two, and work at them every day.
I just don't know what my goal should be.
I can't make Georgina a goal. I shouldn't make any woman a goal.
So.. skip that.
Body mind soul and spirit.. I should get back into exercising, again. I've already lost 20lbs over the past few months. My appetite went downhill, shortly after she broke up with me.
I guess that's a good thing, I mean look at this.
I'm not sure how to formulate a "goal" for improving myself physically. I don't know what the milestone would be. Or whether or not I really care about the incentive of having to go through the trouble, when I already look fine.
Hmph. I'm bored typing right now.
Miss her.
But..
Oh, well.
Got some books delivered in from Amazon today.
Guess I'll go read those.
