Hoo boy.
Oh, dear.
My goodness.
My word.
All appropriate reactions to the three-hour telephone conversation I had with Tanya just now before her battery died out.
Her voice man.. wow.. such a sweet, sexy, thoughtful and smart woman. I *really* was reminded of Gina. It's almost uncanny even. I'm pretty sure a breathless "hi" delivered by both of them would be indistinguishable from one another.
I really like Tanya.. I'm pretty surprised by it too. She's about four years older than myself, but she has this Gina quality about herself. A sweet, soulful and loving person.
Her oldest son is disabled, and she has two young daughters.
Hrm.
Well, that's neither here nor there, as we still have yet to meet and see if we can hit things off. I don't know how far I will be taking this, or whether or not she wants to take it very far with me.
We did exchange kissy emoticons at the end though, so.. ack. Looks like the ball is already rolling.
I really liked her views on things. Especially about manners. Like, she would address people as "sir" or "ma'am" and its such a considerate and respectful way of being that is so rare to see nowadays.
She's coming off of a painful marriage, and is presently separated. She makes these amazing looking cakes, and she seems all about pleasing her man. I like cakes. I like being pleased.
Hmm. Yeah.. I like her. But if I've ever learned anything about relationships, is to never get my hopes up.
So, I won't.
Would I prefer someone younger? Absolutely. Without kids? Yes. Someone with huge boobs? Serve it to me on a platter, my friend, I'll have as much boobage as can be served up.
But, she's not fat. And she looks beautiful without her glasses on. And yeah.. she's older.. and yes, she has kids. But it seems like everyone has kids these days. Gina has two. Kiley has two. And Tanya has three.
Hrm.
Still though, it shouldn't really matter, should it? I mean, I'm disappointed that I can't pass my genes on should I decide to commit to someone incapable of having more children, but.. is it really that important? I mean, maybe they'll clone me someday. That would keep things going, right?
Hmph. Who would want to clone me though? (insert laughing emoticon here)
Well.. Despite how great our conversation was, I am still thinking about having sex with Kiley. I know. This is going to be tricky. So.. I'm not going to pursue sex with Tanya on Saturday, should she decide to come over and should we hit things off in person. And.. Yeah, keep my expectations in check, I suppose. Sorry, but three months without sex is taking its toll on me. Its hard fighting off wanting to sleep with her on our first date.
She talks a lot. Like a LOT, LOT. I didn't get to say very much. 95% of the conversation was her, I think. And that's really fine, I guess. As long as she remembers to ask me a question every once in a while and as long as she is capable of enjoying silence for a bit.
Hrm.
Kissing emoticon. Well..
Hrmph.
Its already on that level... I can't believe I was hesitant about talking on the phone with her. It just went so well that I feel like an idiot for being worried and nervous when she offered to chat. Well, mildly worried and nervous since I wasn't expecting to like her as much as I did. I didn't have any expectations going into that conversation at all, other than to expect to improve my ability to chat over the phone.
Funny how that works. Being non-chalant and fearless, all seems to pay big dividends when I manage to exhibit these qualities. Had it been Kiley, I probably would've been tripping over my own two feet, trying to impress her. With Tanya, I didn't have to.
Oh life. Again. You're so full of surprises that I can hardly stand it. Sometimes.
And if I get into a committed relationship with Tanya, then I can't well be having sex with Kiley on the regular, like she expressed interest in doing so.
So thus, the dilemma.
Mm. Sex with Kiley, one time, I think, and that's it. I'm going to continue my visualization and see if it will work out or not.
If it doesn't, then thats fine. If it does, then great. I've proven its effectiveness, I suppose.
But boy its been made complicated now. I don't like sleeping with multiple women. I'm interested in monogamy, and I expect to be given the same, so...
Hm.
We'll see how it goes.
Looks like the magic has already happened.
