I am, drunks. Warning: drunk post ahead
Two glasses of rum and Coke (zero) does that to me.
On my kitchen counter, is a box and inside of this box are four items.
1. Pokemon wall decals
2. a Minecraft torch
3. Wind-up glasses w/Groucho Marx mustache
4. a chicken, inside of which is page 77 torn from "Whiskey Words & a Shovel" by R.H. Sin.
Ah, hemmm.. My mom just called as I was writing all this. She wants me to come over tomorrow at 2 to eat some leftovers she made today that she has too much of. And she tried to sweeten the invitation by saying that I should check out my stepdad's new Macbook Pro, which I think is ridiculous, since it doesn't have a CD/Bluray/DVD player in it. Pfft. Damn Apple fanboy he is.. haha
And I'm typing this on a Macbook Pro from 2009 which does have a cd/dvd player in it. Take that Apple! I'm not going to downgrade because you think a portless/optical drive-less future is what we should all be going towards. Fuck that. I want options. I want flexibility with my data. I don't want to be corralled into this tiny little box that limits what I can do, all in the name of "progress" or #courage. Fuck Tim Cook for setting precedents that other dumbasses buy into. Which I mean, other PC manufacturers and the consumers that are voting with their wallets, whether they need that functionality or not.
I don't think they even put a SD slot in the new MacBook. What a shame. We need a physical option to move/copy data around with. Otherwise, wtf. Do we always have to be connected to the internet? How can an internet-less computer function, or how can a typical user function without the internet? I hate it how the internet is this mandatory component of the computer, or a phone, nowadays. Should I decide to upend my roots and hide in the remote woods for a few years; how the hell could I backup my data without the internet? No SD slot, no optical drive. I guess USB sticks are an option, but I wouldn't be surprised if Apple decides to do away with those as well, in the future. Plus, how can I listen to my music mixes in the car? Bluetooth? It sucks as far as sound quality goes. It's inconvenient, too. And how would I be able to "gift" someone a music mix that I've made for them? On a USB stick? That's so dumb. So.. unromantic, I suppose would be the word. A bit inconvenient, too. And not nearly as impactful as just simply putting the CD into your car or home stereo.
No, you have to be a "geek" and computer "savvy" to really know how to achieve basic functionality, these days and that sucks for those of us who do not want to go down the path of being too reliant on technology. And..
Ugh.
Whatever.
I wish they'd introduce a new media format of some kind that is ubiqutous. Like a high-capacity optical disc that is encased within a plastic sleeve to protect it from scratches and damage. Kind of like a 3.5" floppy, where it has at least 100 gigs capacity and you can put lossless audio on there, as well as 4k movies, and also use it as a way of storing data.
(sighs) .. whateves.
I'm drunks. And... yeah.. there's a box on my counter with stuff inside that I think I'm going to mail to Gina. For better or worse of whatever outcome comes of it.
I love her.. its been almost five months since I've seen her and today really.. reminded me, I guess. Of how special and unique she is. And how much she means to me.
And.. I don't know. I know I said in past posts that I wouldn't send her anything. I know I said I would drop those items off at the local thrift shop, but..
Fuck, man.
She's my girl.
And..
God.. I may not win her back by sending this. Even if it is inside of an Amazon box and she would have no idea of who sent it to her. I may not win her back, but I..
Shit. I don't know if anything positive can come out of this. For me, it probably would, knowing that I gave it another "chance" and that I did "something" rather than nothing.
But..
Ugh.
See.. I love her. I LOVE HER.
And..
Man.. I'm drunk. I still have 3/4 of a glass of rum and Coke in front of me, waiting to be gulped. I'm such a weakling. I rarely drink and when I do, I get really buzzed.
Saw Gyngie last night. She couldn't come over at the last minute due to her feeling sick, so I came by with a box of oranges and some pills for her to get better with. We did a lot of talking. About movies, about setting boundaries for children and enforcing them, and I really don't envy her position of trying to be a "cool" mom that her daughter can confess anything towards. It's not easy being a single mom.
When she tried texting Raychel at around 2:30am and didn't get a response; Gyngie got pissed off, saying, "I don't want her to be a whore" .. and, man.. its not an easy job being a parent. Its not easy enforcing boundaries, or even knowing what boundaries to set, without alienating or disrespecting her child. What a tough thing to deal with.
Mm..
Yeah.
I'm done for the night.
There's a "remember the 80s" thing happening on CNN right now and I'm listening to a Jordan Peterson lecture (Slaying the Dragon Within Us) and.. yeah..
I've got to go back to.. living, I guess. Writing isn't coming freely to me right now. I'm drunks, remember? Yup.
I could go off about various things, but it requires energy and focus that I don't have right now.
Anyways.
The rollercoaster rolls on.
And I'm completely blindfolded.
