Today is a new day, and.. hmm. I really don't have much to say about it at the moment.
Gyngie is coming by later tonight, Kiley hasn't responded to my text about meeting up this weekend, haven't heard a peep from Ginelle and this other cute girl on Tinder hasn't written back to me. Too bad, I was really excited to hear from her, since she calls herself a "chatty writer". Plus her being 29 and as lovely as the thin dusting of snow in the early fall certainly adds to the intrigue. Maybe I'll suffer the indignity of sending her another message, which would be like a "pls respond" as far as desperation goes. But, hey.. better to do something than nothing. Even if it means comparing her to a dusting of snow. (sighs)
Well.. three cups of coffee so far this morning/afternoon. Pretty dumb, but I'm addicted to the stuff. Specifically the McCafe cups that my Tassimo gobbles up like Pacman on steroids.
Leonard Cohen is playing right now, "Hallelujah" just finished up, and now its "Waiting For The Miracle". Love his voice. Seems like an appropriate song to be listening to, as well.
Mm.. I've really got nothing planned for today. I'm pretty bored. I don't know why I fired up the laptop to start on this post, but its better than staring at the walls and smoking cigarette after cigarette. Not real proud about that.
I have "Mind is the Master" in front of me, still opened up to that page about how a man of passion shouldn't be ruled by his desires. Unfortunately, I am. I want sex. It's been three months since I had any. I'm hurting and it sucks.
What advice would James Allen have to say to me about that? "Don't worry David, there are far better things than sex out there."
Pfft. Reminds me of this quote by Aldous Huxley, where he says "An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex."
C'mon, son. Sex is pretty awesome. Why deliberately restrain myself from having/wanting it once in a while? Like, every week at least.
With my ex, she would've wanted it multiple times per day, to the point where I'd be all put off by it. That sucks as well. As I told my dad once when he asked if I wanted a second serving of the delicious bean soup he made, "no thanks dad. Too much of a good thing is not a good thing."
And it's true. Can't enjoy the sweet without the sour. The light without the darkness. Can't really make those contrasts where you are in your darkest moments of despair, and a little bit of sunshine comes in to really brighten up your day, where it ordinarily would appear to be nothing all that remarkable should good thing after good thing keep presenting itself. Kind of like the idea of enjoying a steak, REALLY enjoying a steak, after eating ramen noodles for a year straight. If you had steak every day, you'd be so sick of it that ramen would seem almost like a treat.
Got to think of it like that. Its all a rollercoaster ride. We go down, then up. Down, then up. Wind around a little bit, and the ride goes on. As thrilling as ever. Had it been simple and predictable it wouldn't be nearly as exciting.
So it is with life. It goes up, it goes down. It goes around. We're here to enjoy the ride, aren't we?
Some days are good, some are bad. Some goes up, some goes down.
Rather than stressing about ourselves when we feel down, we should always be able to shrug our shoulders and look forward to going up again. Because, eventually we will. It may take a while, or it may appear out of the blue; but it always does. There's always a surprise to be had if you keep yourself open and receptive.
Mm.
Time for a bath.
And a bit of Glen Hansard.
