This morning as I awoke, I had fragments of a dream in my mind where I was flying and there was another fellow who was struggling that I had to teach so that he would be able to properly do it. I remember it was about breathing correctly and I demonstrated how I was doing it.
Once that faded, I found myself in the in-between as I like to call it. Between waking and sleeping and there are times that when this happens, I try and reach towards the Divine to get answers for questions that I silently ask.
The word "Sheol" came into mind and I began exploring the idea of this underground and had the impression that it was made up of multiple levels, like Dante's Inferno. When we die, we get placed into a compartment that is congruent with our deeds/frequency or whatever until judgement or re-birth happens.
When I think about the concept it does make some sense. If we look at the world in terms of density, it stands to reason that the more dense one is, the closer to the Earth that they are. Science would describe this force as gravity but because it doesn't know what gravity is, I would submit that it is a form of magnetism that we need to elevate ourselves above. Change our polarity.
I also had some ideas come in about why I am here or why we are in this place. I was thinking that life is something of a gift, a chance to rise from the underground levels to a place that is higher. Promoted from the material plane to something more ethereal. I had the thought about our purpose individually is to elevate ourselves and help others to do the same. Much like it was with me teaching that man how to fly.
When I think about myself and my life I realize that I haven't done much to elevate others although I want to. I feel that with the cards I've been dealt, I need to first elevate myself. I sometimes think that is a selfish perspective to take but I keep reminding myself of how when a parent is on a plane that is nosediving to the ground, to place the oxygen mask on themselves first before helping their children or anyone else.
Is this selfish? Yes, but it is also necessary in particular situations to put your needs before others.
For much of my relationship with my ex, I kept putting her needs before my own. There were times when I didn't want to but I still did. I didn't establish boundaries and allowed her to suck my energy dry to the point where I had little for myself.
My heart was emptied out and discarded. Even though I knew for most of the relationship that it was an unhealthy one to be in but there was that part of me which thought she would change.
People don't change unless they want to. People don't discard their values and their goals and personalities to immediately adopt new ones. It's not that simple.
When I think about all this, I... I get thoughts of how I'd like to help people. Especially Karlee, who has been in my mind every day and who hasn't responded to the email I sent yesterday. I can understand why that is. Why pursue a relationship when we are so distant and apart from one another? Why bend our hearts and souls into these directions when there are so many obstacles in the way that need to be dealt with first?
I love that woman. I do. It hurts at times not being able to talk with her like I used to. Seeing her on video. Maybe she feels the same as I do but maybe she doesn't. I just know that building a stronger emotional connection between us is only going to amplify the pain of physical absence.
She has two energetic kids and an abusive husband to deal with. She has her medical condition. She has the worry of arranging to leave her husband and to find money enough for her legal fees. Then, she will be worrying about where to live after the divorce and whether or not she can afford to buy a home in such an expensive market.
Maybe she will be able to keep the Tootgarook beach house but maybe she won't. Maybe the legal battle will be drawn out for years. Maybe the legal costs will run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Money that she does not have.
And in the process, the damage to her kids and herself will continue.
While in the in-between state, I went over the list of my needs, wants and desires. I visualized Karlee and I sitting on a beach at night in Australia, looking at a full moon and a starry sky. Her head is leaned against my right shoulder, our legs are touching and my right hand is resting on the side of her knee.
That is one of the things I'd really like to experience before shuffling off this mortal coil.
So when I was thinking about Sheol and the underworld which theoretically is a plausible concept, I also was thinking about the opposite. If we have unseen forces of intelligence that are attaching themselves to humans and manipulating them, shouldn't there also be forces working for our benefit?
This is the part I'm most conflicted about. I don't know how those beneficial intelligences work. Do they attach themselves to us as well? I feel like they might. At the same time, I'm wondering if maybe that spirit of intelligence and wisdom innately held within us might be the benevolent entity that can act to help us. To keep us from harmful situations. To move us towards a light, towards a purpose.
Maybe we are much like plants. We start as seeds in the soil (Sheol), are born (sprout) and grow towards the sun which may be what Jesus meant when he called himself the son (sun) of God and that the only way to the Father is through him (the sun). Whether this means at death we should head towards the sun (the golden light) and not the moon (the false light) or whether that means we must grow towards Truth and life as a plant that stretches its leaves to the sky and presses itself towards it, I'm not entirely sure.
If we aren't living, truly living, then we are dying.
As I sit here on my mother's couch, the sun is shining upon my face. I wish I could go back to my old ways of being. Where I woke up in the morning with the sun in my bedroom and was up early enough to enjoy most of it while I was awake.
Now, I get to enjoy the sun for about an hour before it sets. The apartment building across from me blocks it out until about 2:30pm and lasts about 4pm.
I look at Princess to my left and I feel sad seeing how she sits on her cat tower for most of the day. Staring off into the distance. As if she was meditating.
Her eyes deserve to be brighter than they are. They would be, had she lived with me in my old place. Being able to run around in the backyard with grass and being out in nature like she needs to be.
There wasn't much else that came up while I was half-awake except what I had already mentioned. I feel that we need to elevate ourselves and other people. I feel it in my bones. Earth appears to be a battleground even if it is "ruled" by the Demiurge. There is a constant encroachment towards enslaving humanity that has gone on for thousands of years.
That reveals something important. If the ruler of this world truly ruled it, why couldn't we have been enslaved much longer ago? Why the need for tighter and tighter control?
Why is euthanasia being pushed like it is? What is going to happen in 2030 when the deadline for Agenda 2030 arrives?
Are we going to be under new management?
Or are we moving into a phase of greater control and restriction? But why?
There is so much information coming out these days. A lot of stuff I'm seeing is questioning the Bible and the Abrahamic religions as they should. Judaism depicts a vengeful, jealous murderous God - Christianity has what looks like a highly mythologized figure in Jesus who resembles Horus/Krishna and could be a composite of these deities while Islam encourages multiple wives and turns a blind eye to murder, pedophilia when it is done under certain conditions and precepts.
I think many people are waking up to the scam of all this. Still, it is hard to figure out what the Truth really is. I think we have to piece it all together for ourselves. I think the story of Jesus has elements of Truth as does the book of Genesis and the Qu'ran.
It appears we have been engineered by the "Gods" who are actual physical beings that exist along with us in this realm. These Gods are deceptive and do not want us to know their origins, intentions or what they have done with our history and what our true nature is.
With the chaos going on in the world today, it seems like the Gods are allowing for the destruction of humanity to take place. Specifically the white European race. Economic destruction and unchecked immigration and infiltration will result in the erasure of culture and tradition.
Everything we loved about Canada, America, Australia, the UK, Sweden... all these places are having their history watered down and removed.
Imagine if Japan allowed for African migrants to flood their country. No more kimonos, sushi, anime and other cultural byproducts once enough foreigners reach critical mass. There is a reason why Asia is considered xenophobic. They aren't. They simply want to preserve their culture and traditions.
So what is the problem with white Europeans specifically? I have a hunch that we have become unruly. Too smart for our own good. Not all of us of course, but it seems like white Europeans pose some kind of threat to the powers that be.
But maybe it isn't about intelligence. Asians are intelligent, arguably more so in some ways.
Level of awareness, possibly?
What is awareness correlated with? A higher consciousness.
Does that mean that all white people are highly conscious? Absolutely not, as we've seen with the jabs a few years ago and how many has taken it.
Whatever the reason, it has something to do with genetics.
I've seen many blacks with a heightened sense of connection to nature and their bodies. They aren't being targeted for some reason.
Perhaps it really is about all of humanity being enslaved and this is a multi-stage process. Whites first, then the rest will follow.
The other interesting connection is Christianity. Although there are a lot of devout followers who are of mixed ethnicity so maybe that's not it either. Still, it is obvious that we are being subjected to Satanic influences in our culture.
In any case, whatever the reasons, the western world is being enslaved. Not merely America and Canada but Europe and Australia. New Zealand. Commonwealth countries. Members of the Five Eyes intelligence apparatus.
Perhaps it is as simple as that. I would discount genetics from the equation if we didn't have this jab shoved down our throats. Then again, Israel and China are two places that were hit hard by it. Perhaps Chinese citizens didn't get the mRNA like we did but Israel has about a 95% compliance rate. Again... maybe they didn't get the mRNA either and had to go along with the appearance that they are receiving the same ingredients as the rest of the west was.
One theory I heard about last night in the video about Enoch is the intentional corruption of our genetics so that "God" would not be able to see humans as his own. They've changed too much. This is possible. But believing this means also to believe in a singular Creator that designed our bodies and as I've discussed in earlier posts, our bodies are imperfect.
But maybe the idea was to alter us away from being able to form a spiritual connection with our higher selves or with the true God.
I wonder about that when I look at the sun. Is that a conscious intelligent entity? Without the sun there would be no life on this planet. Does God not give us life?
And how do we connect to this power? Through the sun, right? Melatonin? The third eye? The pineal gland?
If the magnetosphere is indeed collapsing, it will mean that the effects of the sun become more pronounced. If the sun is how we connect to divinity or receive information from, then plans of blocking the sun and chemtrails make sense. Filter out the rays of the sun as much as possible.
And perhaps the white race is more receptive to the effects of the sun than other races.
It's quite the puzzle to try and understand.
Perhaps our true Creator is returning soon to claim his creations and the powers that be know this and are doing what they can to pervert his creation before he arrives.
Maybe it really is true that Satan has a short reign on this planet but will gobble as much of it up as possible before judgement comes. So that he can point at humanity and show that they belong to him and not to the divine Creator.
Then again, if God exists in the way the Bible tells us, where did he go in all of this time? Why would he have not protected us a long time ago? Why did he allow his son to die? Assuming that Jesus was not a made up character.
It is difficult to know what the truth is anymore these days. All we can do is guide ourselves towards it, assert our sovereign and divine nature and help others to do the same.
Tom McDonald put out a song called Superman a few days ago. It was about not waiting for Superman. That Superman isn't going to appear and save us. Superman as many have noticed, resembles a Jesus/Messiah/Savior figure.
Is that the right way to live? Perhaps. Maybe each of us needs to be Superman instead of thinking that he exists outside of ourselves.
We each need to become Superman.
Nietzsche has said similar things. He called Superman the Ubermensch, the fully actualized human.
I didn't appreciate how he wanted to do away with Christianity but his perspective of where mankind needs to head towards does make logical sense.
If we removed all religions from the planet and stuck to a common set of shared values, maybe we would transcend and elevate our consciousness even higher.
If we each valued love, beauty, truth, compassion, prosperity, justice and freedom, we would be in a paradise wouldn't we? Assuming our corrupt governments would have politicians also mirroring and sharing those values.
Except we don't. Because we live in the beast system and we are the beasts.
And everyone is so fractured and divided right now. By religion, by sex, by ideology, by morals, by education, intelligence, spirituality.
We cheer for team A while others cheer for team B.
We choose between Russia and Ukraine. Palestine and Israel. Jabs or no jabs.
Honestly, it looks almost unfixable at this point.
Which is probably why the parasite class are working to create a unipolar one world regime. They'll get everyone on the same page no matter what. They'll use censorship, prosecution and character assassination to do it with.
All managed by artificial intelligence. The new "God" that sees and hears all.
This may have been the plan all along for thousands of years to reach this particular point.
And that speaks to a non-human intelligence I believe.
Which is then proof of "Satan" or "Ahriman" or the "Demiurge". Whatever people choose to call it.
It is a malevolent force that desires absolute control.
That much I know for sure. A malevolent force exists and wants to subjugate us.
What I don't know for sure is the role and nature of the benevolent force.
When I think about it, I believe that there might be two Gods. One that rules over the material realm and another that rules over the spirit. The spiritual one is where notions such as truth, love, beauty, compassion, justice and prosperity comes from. The material God is the one that promotes materialism, scarcity, falsehood, hatred and division, ugliness, false compassion and lawlessness.
This then makes a lot of sense as to why many people suggest we need to drop our attachments to this world if we hope to leave it. This includes our children, although I am of a mixed opinion on that.
I remember Karlee and I talking about the cabin we wished to live together in. She did not mention her children once to me which was odd. She also said at one point that she wouldn't believe or trust me if we were to meet in the afterlife, thinking that it might be a manipulation.
I'm thinking something different. I think we need to be attached to certain things. Love is important. Very important. I love her even if she doesn't feel the same and I wouldn't incarnate back on this world to only be with her. I'd love her in the sense that I hope she will transcend this place and we could be together in a higher reality. A reality where neither of us are suffering, where we give freely to one another, where we can roam and explore without restriction. I'd be attached to that particular dream.
But hearing all those NDEs of manipulation and false entities, I can see why she would be hesitant in believing any of them. I'm sure she wouldn't trust feelings of love either, thinking that was a manipulation also.
You can see why it is such a struggle to piece together the truth of all this. So many contradictory ideas.
Ultimately we have to stand for something, don't we?
I want to stand for love. Real love. The kind that I can trust and not feel like I'm being taken advantage of. The kind that heals me when I am wounded and for me to do the same.
But again... it defeats the point of being sovereign if one has to depend on another.
I still remember that vision I had while meditating. Karlee and I in a realm somewhere and we had these perfect bodies. There was both independence and dependence between us. Separate but one. I think this is how it has to be. Duality might be a trick in this game but masculine/feminine is a good split to choose a particular side to be on.
The alternative is androgynous. Being of both. I wonder if that isn't the ideal way to be. I've thought for a long time that we needed to balance both the right and the left side of our brain. To achieve harmony and coherence. Masculine and feminine. Logic and intuition.
Wholeness.
Is identifying as a man or a woman a form of attachment? Of ego?
When I look at the transgenderism being promoted around these days, my reasoning tells me that it is evil and diabolical in nature to switch from one sex to another. Reversing polarities.
But is it really?
Then I think of who the "God" of this world is and I wonder about Baphomet. The androgynous God.
Is that who is being worshipped? Or did Eliphas Levi create a symbol that represents the balancing of both male and female?
What is the end goal of spiritual progression? Harmony, balance, right?
When we die and return to spirit, are we male or female in polarity or neither?
Be either hot or cold not lukewarm, else I spit thee from my mouth.
I wonder about that.
Personally, I like the traditional gender roles. I like that a man is expected to be physically strong, ambitious and masculine in his disposition whereas a woman is soft, nurturing, intuitive and cares more about family and connection and beauty.
At the same time, I know I'm not the man I desire most to be. I have feminine qualities that can get amplified in me which I resented during my relationship with the ex as she subtly swapped our polarities and roles.
But... sighs. Are we supposed to polarize? Is it necessary to have a woman that complements you and brings strength to your weaknesses and your strengths make up for hers?
I really like the way that arrangement works. Although it is not what society has been promoting for the last few decades. Women pushed for feminism and began competing with men in the workforce.
So that bears scrutiny. If there was a malevolent intelligence at play in the world, it makes sense it would confuse the genders and roles of men and women. Notice we don't see any women dressing up as men? Just men who become drag queens?
There is a spiritual psychological operation that is clearly in place.
And it is rubbing up against my own ideas of each soul needing to achieve balance.
I don't know what to think about duality. I see the need for it. I see the contrast it brings. Can't have the light without the dark. Can't have the sweet without the sour. Can't form proper points of reference without duality. Which actually, is a trinity. Hot, cold and lukewarm. Positive, negative and neutral.
Thesis, anti-thesis and synthesis.
Father, mother and child.
So... going by that formula, the synthesis is a combination of polarities.
It pretty much means androgyny doesn't it?
Is that the default state of our spirit? Our soul? Was I once a woman in a past life? Is the point of existence to try and harmonize both polarities?
But... maybe harmonizing is possible and yet we can still be dominantly male or female.
I really wonder about that.
Sorry for the ramble. Writing these thoughts help me to sort them out and see what unresolved questions I have.
Jesus said my kingdom is not of this world. Most religions say that the real world is not in this place. Not on the material plane.
Okay... So is this a testing/training ground?
Harmonize ourselves to be able to level up and go someplace else?
Or do we reject reality altogether and chose not to accept duality? Left/right are wings of the same bird as they say. Two sides of the same coin.
Except, the edge of the coin matters too and its the trinity of creation.
By rejecting the trinity, we reject creation.
The question then is, is creation inherently evil? Is it the Demiurge? Satan? Who created this reality and what were their intentions?
If Satan/the Demiurge created this material realm, then of course they would rule over it.
But if the true Creator is immaterial, they would rule over the spiritual realms.
If there is a trinity of existence, we would see the Father (demiurge/materiality), the Mother (Sophia/wisdom) and the child which would be a combination of both.
The child would be the human form. The synthesis of the two principle powers.
It is both material and spiritual.
This then begs the question, who owns what?
The God of this realm does not own our souls.
The God or Goddess of the spirit does not own our bodies.
The synthesis would be the true God. The Christ.
And I find it interesting that one evening in a spiritually heightened state of mind, I had the thought that Earth belongs to Christ.
Then again... Who owns the other realms? The places described by NDE, DMT, OBE and astral projection experiences? There are a wide variety of different places to be.
Real genuine love exists without a need for control.
And we are being controlled in the material reality.
So this is not a place where love reigns supreme.
Are there other places where it does? I'd like to think so. Yes.
And sure, we can love others while we are down here. But we aren't governed by love it seems.
A lot of people don't even know what love is.
Sometimes love fades. Sometimes it swings like a pendulum.
Love appears to be dynamic and not a static way of being.
Cyclical at times, too.
Again, if there was no polarity, no trinity, we would not have an accurate reference point to know what love really is.
Imagine loving someone at a stable intensity day after day after day?
Imagine a realm where there are no days and no one sleeps. What would being in love be measured by?
Is it possible to be in a permanent state of bliss?
Can we be eternally in love? A love that never wavers?
If so, we would lose our concept of it. If we are wealthy, we would not always hold eternal gratitude for the possessions that we own. Those things come and go.
Cannot have the sweet without the sour.
So with all this rambling I've been doing, it seems that Sheol - the underworld or Hades probably exists.
We would not know the love of the Father without the hatred of the Devil.
This then makes sense why Yahweh claimed responsibility for creating both good and evil.
Both good and evil are necessary. I just think right now the balance is way off.
The pendulum needs to swing the other way.
It all feels like a clock. A cycle. At midnight it is dark without light. At noon it is light without dark.
It all has to come and go. The kali yuga, the age of Aquarius.
Without these cycles we cannot find the ground beneath our feet. The reference points needed.
Imagine living in a place where it is always dark or always light.
What would give us an understanding of time, of passage, of motion if it were all at rest?
I know that the true Creator is one of momentum and stillness.
It is the All.
It is divinely balanced and is both good and evil.
It is life and it is death.
What I wonder about again... is what our true purpose is here?
To be obedient to one side and not the other? To polarize or to harmonize?
To be like the All means we must be balanced.
But should we balance ourselves we would no longer be polarized. There would be no male or female.
It is such a conundrum to try and figure out.
Again, I like the idea of traditional gender roles. I really do. There is so much happiness to be had in a relationship where one is complemented by the other. Where lines are drawn and boundaries established.
Can one exist in happiness by becoming balanced and not require a relationship with anyone else?
That depends, I think.
Imagine owning a mansion, all the cool cars, toys, books, video games, music, anything you can think of is all yours. Except you are utterly alone. And by alone, I mean there are NO other human beings anywhere. You are the only person. Can you be happy? Sure, maybe for a few months or years but eventually you'll tire of these amusements.
It means so much more when you are able to have a shared experience. Even something as simple as a walk in the park gets transformed when you are with someone that you love and are not by yourself.
This I think is very important to consider. It doesn't matter if there are endless amusements to preoccupy yourself with, eventually you'll become lonely. You'll doubt and possibly curse your existence. You'll want to do what Alan Watts suggest and split off, playing a game of hide and seek with yourself.
You'll want to experience the thoughts and feelings of another perspective different to your own.
So this is what I am curious about. If we reject duality/the trinity, we reject creation itself. However, this creation is obviously flawed just by virtue of how our bodies are designed.
If we progress to a spiritual realm, will we lose our physicality? Will there be objects that feel tangible even though we do not have hands to feel them with? Or can we make these objects out of our minds and also simulate the senses enough to make it feel like we are touching them, even though they are really made up of energy?
Interestingly, that is what they say about this place as well. That everything is made up of energy even though it feels solid and real, we have so much empty spaces between the atoms that bind us.
Perhaps Earth is really a prize. Look at the geography, the variety it affords each of us to experience. Oceans, mountains, forests, snow, desert. Look at the variety of animal life. The seasons. The rise and fall of the sun each day. It's really impressive and beautiful.
But our physical bodies are flawed. Our system is incredibly flawed.
We cannot blame "humanity" for the evil that has permeated into our institutions, our government, our hospitals, our churches.
We were given a veil of forgetfulness as we are born into this world. We have no memories of who we were and why we are here. If we had recollection of past lives, we would surely have reformed this system being able to learn from the past. We would love each other more. We would have developed technology to make life more pleasant and easier to survive in. Abundance. Free energy. Travel wherever you'd want without a passport. Cure any disease.
At the same time, we are taught lies. We do not understand how sacred sex is and how sacred children are. We do not honor the truth because we all have different ideas of what the truth is. We don't know what love is. We don't really understand compassion and empathy because if we did, we would do everything in our power to alleviate the suffering of those we care about and those that we do not.
We are lied to about this realm we are in. Being told we've gone to the moon. That the earth is round and limited. That there is nothing in Antarctica, that aliens are from outer space.
We see the lies in the words that we use. Bless = be less. Mourning = morning. Week = weak and weekend = weakened.
Deception is hard coded into this reality. Mockery is in plain sight.
It is easy to want to reject this place. Having to pay to survive.
At the same time, is it possible for everyone to drive a Ferrari? Would life have meaning if everyone had exactly what they wanted? Why doesn't everyone have a house with an acre for themselves?
Why doesn't everyone own a mansion?
This really begs the question of how existence should be presented. If everyone owned a Ferrari, there wouldn't be much to get excited about would there? Except another kind of vehicle that isn't a Ferrari.
A house wouldn't be valued or appreciated as much if there were no apartment complexes and townhomes would there?
Sighs.
I am conflicted about all this. I see what is worthy of being complained about and I also see how necessary it can sometimes be to have those things in place. There are exceptions though. No one should have to live with a terminal illness. With pain or great suffering. In poverty and despair.
Although that is part of duality. Poverty and prosperity.
How would we appreciate the difference if neither existed?
How would we even recognize it?
So this system makes sense in a way. However flawed it actually is.
I think a lot of our troubles can be solved by adopting the right values. Not religious ideas, but values.
Anyways... Sheol... hell, Hades...
It seems to be more the product of a state of mind.
If we believe this place is cursed and imperfect and humanity is irredeemable, we exist in a state of hell.
Should we carry this idea into death and choose not to return, we might actually be in hell. In Sheol.
For separation and isolation is not the cure to our troubles.
As much as I enjoy being a hermit at times, it can and does get lonely after awhile.
We need each other. The good and the bad among us.
But we don't have to BE with each other. We can co-exist. We must be able to co-exist.
Love everyone at a distance and love the ones you allow into your circles even more.
We all have the right to exist and live a life free from the control and whims of other people.
That includes the demand of us having to earn money in order to survive. We shouldn't have to struggle for the basic necessities.
But again...
Once we have those necessities, are we each able to have our dream home?
Can we fly to anywhere in the world free of charge?
Can we drive the vehicle we desire?
Sighs...
I'm at loss for all this.
Evil has infiltrated us.
Evil is ignorance, being unaware of our true nature.
Evil is a form of control when it intrudes and perverts the fundamentals of creation.
We are meant to be free.
But we must first free ourselves.
And it's getting harder and harder to do in a dystopian surveillance state pay-to-survive society.
Tough to consider all of this.
Hope we figure it out.
