Genius. Absolute genus, that Gary Larson guy. The creativity he managed to put into a single-panel comic for years upon years, day after day, is astounding. We aren't privy to such shows of creativity and passion as much these days, as we were once accustomed to seeing.
And that's unfortunate, but not also completely true. There is still a deep well of creativity and inspired, passionate talent out there doing good work; but it has been growing lopsided, in the favor of perpetuating stories and tales of negativity, in all mediums. Books, music, movies, television shows, magazines.
Game of Thrones is really fascinating to watch at times, particularly the Battle of the Bastards. But then you have the rest of the show, which deals with a lack of respect for life and the very real possibility that there are no heroes in any of this. They will all die. Just to side-step the traditional expectation of a happy or satisfying ending, and instead making the whole thing into a sad, depressing affair. A freak show flying the flag of sadism, attracting the eyes and ears of curious bystanders.
And then, there is something like Stranger Things, which I have just started watching on Netflix last night. And by last night, I mean all night and into the morning. I watched seven episodes of Stranger Things back to back, and so far it has been great. I love the kids. The casting. Particularly the Sheriff; and although the plot and ideas aren't really innovative or ground-breaking, it does pay homage to the Spielberg 80s era and is written in a serial, pulp-fiction style which is pretty much how I've been trying to do my novel.
Always end on a cliffhanger. Or at least give the reader/viewer a reason to turn the page at the end of each chapter. I think that's important. It doesn't have to be negative either, just some sort of revelation or event that makes the reader start to ask questions, and is willing to turn the page or to watch the next episode, in order to have those questions answered. And unlike Lost, Stranger Things does give the viewer a steady stream of clues by which they can predict and explain the plot by. There are no hatches, smoke monsters, or other dumb contrivances that exist for no other reason than to confuse the viewer and trick them into thinking there is an explanation somewhere in all that, like Lost tried to do.
So.. I didn't get to go into detail about how my weekend went, but I'll try and write down as much as I remember.
Saturday, had Isacc, my general foreman at work; calling to tell me that I was laid off and can come by Monday to pick up my tools.
He was nice about it, as was I, and he explained that they only need 14 people and that 31 others were laid off. I was a bit disappointed at the timing, and wished I had an extra week or two of paycheques to ensure I'll have a comfortable winter at home to myself. But it looks like now, I'm going to have to clutch onto my purse strings and manage money as best as I can. There's a lot of uncertainty about how work will look like next year. I may even have to go up North, to Fort Mac. And that would suck.
After that phone call, I felt.. odd. I still felt weird, for having left work at 1030pm the night before and not sure about what to do with myself; but I felt odder still, for knowing I was laid off.
Told Gynger about it, and offered to come pick her up and hang out at my place overnight.
So, we celebrated Halloween early. Watched Nightmare on Elm Street, and this other movie with.. uh, Guilleremo Del Toro. Forgot the name of it, because I didn't think it was remarkable enough to bother remembering (edit: Crimson Peak). Gyngie and I thought the trailer was good, and I ended up having to buy the darn thing since they weren't offering a rental. Paid $8.99 for it. Oh well.
And also, that night, while with Gyngie, I felt.. secure, again. Like I could really be myself, and comfortable with my masculinity. This is what I didn't really get to do with Gina, but was able to do with Gyngie, twice already, in the span of a couple of weeks.
I think I'm getting closer to expressing the essence of who I am. Still making mistakes here and there, but the wrinkles are being ironed out, and I just have to be patient and willing to keep learning.
By gum, I'll be sure to pull this off just yet! (hooks fist)
Sunday.. Hmm. Gyngie stayed over. Had to bail on my mom and Justin, because I needed to drive her back home. Then, as I returned from driving 45 minutes one way and 45 minutes back; I found her cell phone on my coffee table and sighed. I considered driving back there again that evening, but she said it could wait until the next day. On Monday.
Monday arrives.. and.. hmm. The whole day felt weird to me. Like I stepped into a portal where everyone and everything felt different. The Twilight Zone, somehow.
It's hard to explain, but I'll start with the urge I had to visit Humptys before going to work to get my tools. Plus, there was a thick fog when I got up in the afternoon. Very Halloween-y.
So.. Yeah, I've never been to the local Humptys restaurant and thought I'd grab myself a meal. Ended up ordering the beef dip with au jus and a salad. Read a bit of my Mothman Prophecies book while waiting.
The place had about four other people in it, besides myself, so it was quiet and peaceful.
And then, the waiter suddenly took an interest in me. He was this East Indian guy, 34 years old, and he's been working at Humptys for six years now. He also doesn't like his job, lives in an apartment in Clareview and dreams of doing something else.
That's where it hit me. The weirdness. The waiter started off with, "I haven't seen you before. Are you from around here?" and from there, it was question after question about myself. And I had to ask him questions too, to offset the weirdness.
He asked how old I was. Where I lived. How long for. If I was married or had kids.
Lots of personal questions, and most of them were centered on relationships. For instance, he was baffled that I didn't have a wife or girlfriend and then asked about my ethnicity, later suggesting that I should get myself a Polish girl, because Europeans have traditional values.
Not like the women here, he says. And I was in agreement with him for the most part, except when I said, "It's hard finding a good women. Someone who doesn't give up so easily." I had this flash of Gina in my mind after saying it.
And.. well.. That's part of what I'm struggling to understand right now. Is she a good person? Does she give up easily? Can a good person do what she did to me? Could a good person ever find reason enough to justify the way she broke us up?
I don't know. I.. feel like she's a good person, but I really don't know. I don't know if even if we didn't break up, whether or not she's the best girl for me to be with.
But I'd like to think she is.
And to be completely honest; I really don't know if she is as good as it gets. I don't know, because she was impatient and decided breaking up through text was easier than having a conversation about it and having me to alleviate her concerns. She basically never gave me that opportunity to make things right. To really open myself up to her. And I admit, I was terrified of doing so. I didn't want to lose her if I did.
So.. We were both losers.
Anyways.. (harumph) so I get to work, and the mood there is odd. Everyone felt like a robotic version of the people I spent the last month there with. The mood of the place was strange. Muted, I suppose would be the best word to use. It felt like they transformed into lesser beings, somehow.
No light in their eyes. Few smiles. I did get my hand shaken by most of the people there; and got a bit of candy from my ex-foreman, but still. Very muted and strange.
And it was Halloween, so having to go to work bummed me out because I wouldn't be home to hand out candy until later in the night. So, as I was leaving and saw a few kids walking around the neighborhood; there was nobody ringing my doorbell when I got home at 830 and flipped the lights on.
Not a single child came to the door.
And that sucked. That was officially the worst Halloween I've had. No kids. None. And I had candy by the door, and this mask on:
Ready to scare the bejebus out of these kids, and there was not a solitary soul walking around.
Unless a boatload of kids finished trick and treating before 830pm; it sure felt like Halloween was dead that night. And I remember last year, having kids come by all the way up to 11pm.
Such a sad state of affairs. Such an important holiday and tradition to observe too. I mean, what other day of the year is it permissable to go door-to-door asking strangers for candy? Halloween just isn't about candy, it's about getting to know your neighbors and the area you live in. The holiday brings optimism and empathy to children who go door to door and meet the people they share their world with. And know that strangers are capable of kindness, and smiles, and whatever type of person they come across who answers the door while they knock.
Then there's the benefits for us, the people at home. We get to see cute kids all dressed up. We get to say hello to them and put smiles on their faces.
I don't want Halloween to die. I don't want it to be like Christmas, all commercialized and sanitized. It's not Christmas anymore, it's "the holiday season". And that's downright pathetic for a society founded on Christian values to not stand up against the merchants and media who have perpetuated this politically-correct way of being "inoffensive" to other religions and cultures that do not celebrate Christmas, yet live in our country as we do.
Guess what? We aren't offending them. These Christian values are what our country stand for. It's what America has been founded upon. And yet, we are afraid of our traditions. We have become afraid of the world. We're losing our grip on it.
We just want to stay inside and hide. Or take our kids trick and treating to the mall. Or a parking lot. But certainly not door-to-door. And if we do, definitely not all by their lonesome as we hover in the background, watching with suspicion.
We don't want to say Merry Christmas to any Muslims or people of Asian/Middle-Eastern ethnicity that we see. Thinking its somehow offensive to bring up the idea of Christ, as being a part of our celebratory rituals.
It's more offensive, to turn our backs on tradition. It's more offensive to NOT turn the light on outside and hand out candy to children. Because, we are contributing to the erosion of our values and culture. We are denying the joy of our upbringings, which involved going door-to-door and getting candy from people and later bragging about how much we got, or how so-and-so's house was handing out full candy bars, and that so-and-so was nice or mean, or creepy, or whatever. We deny that bit of exploration to our children, and then we further deny it by not choosing to honor that tradition and give it the importance it deserves.
It really makes me mad, actually. I can see how its all falling apart. Less houses handing out candy = more reason for children not to bother going door-to-door = less reason to celebrate Halloween = less reason for this to be an appealing tradition to pass onto the offspring of the next-generation.
It just goes on and on. Spiraling downwards. I see the writing on the wall already.
But, it's not completely dead yet. There are still people who deck out their houses in tombstones and pumpkins and spiderwebs, and Christmas lights and decorations. God bless them. Even if no one shows up on Halloween, or if no other house on the block has Christmas lights up; then they are still rewarded for their effort. Their own pride, as well as the inspiration their actions bring to those that pass by their homes. Seeing these decorations in place and knowing that at least one person, still cares about tradition.
It's a battle, I tell you. Trying to keep conservative values going, because few people understand just how important these things actually are. And how these values and traditions are responsible for a stable and safe, and optimistic and loving society. They fail to understand how traditions and rituals can bring us altogether. To unite us. To show that we aren't so different. That we believe in the same core principles.
Unfortunately, we don't seem to be going into that direction, for a variety of possible reasons.
Immigration for one. Immigrants who don't wish to assimilate into our culture, to speak our language, to celebrate and respect our holidays and traditions.
Other reasons can involve fear, or a lack of respect, or a loss of faith; where Christian holidays are looked upon with disapproval. This sort of behavior is on the rise, too.
Then, there's the negative stereotypes that the internet and the media has fostered. Their lack of social responsibility and awareness.
Anyways.. I'm sure I haven't covered everything that happened this weekend. I know I haven't.
Gyngie taught me something new about myself. Apparently I'm too critical of things.
But when you have a kitchen like this:
A filthy mess with fruit flies buzzing around, opened cans of food, pots that look like they've been sitting in the sink for weeks and...
Man.. try biting your tongue and not being critical of any of that. I've tried, and I still can't help but express disgust every once in a while at her situation.
But, she has to be reminded of how disgusting it is. Because no one else is telling her. I'm not going to grow "comfortable" with walking around a place that hasn't been vaccumed in months, for whatever reason or excuse she drums up. I don't care if her vacuum is broken. Not when a lot of other stuff, like that kitchen is the way it is. Opened cabinets. Crap laying all over the place.
There was a point where she told me, "you are not allowed to go into the kitchen" with a sternness in her voice. She really would rather I not notice any of this, than for her to go through the effort of cleaning it up and improving her quality of life in the process. Instead, she just wants me to be comfortable and to ignore everything that is wrong.
Not going to buy it. Nope. I'm going to express disgust if it overwhelms me, and is deserving of criticism, because this is not how people are supposed to live. In filth and squalor and playing Destiny for ten plus hours a day, among other games and YouTube/Netflix, etc. Throwing what little money they have away, on dumb shit that they don't need and doesn't make them happy.
That's not living, and I shouldn't be made afraid to state my feelings to her on the subject.
Well...
Damn.. I need some sleep and I'm angry and tired and saddened all at once.
Thrift store today. Twice But Nice. I love seeing the old red-headed lady there. She's such a sweetheart and I enjoy making her smile. Haven't been there in a while either and I need to drop off some stuff.
Looks like I'm back to being unemployed. Let's hope I make the most of my free time for however long it will be.
So far, so good.
Dickshark review forthcoming.
