I'm still watching that Anthony Robbin's doc, and I'm at the part where he gives a guided meditation.
Apart from everything else he's said, there was a line where he asked the audience to think of three memories in their lives, that they are extremely grateful for having.
So, I'm pausing and getting out my laptop to write down the three memories I'm grateful for.
1) That day we arrived in Canmore, my ex-girlfriend Lauren and I. We started off with smiles and laughter and sex and eyes sparkling of promise and fulfillment. Our hotel room was beyond our expectations, with a high-tech shower, three individual rooms, two big televisions, a large comfortable bed that was in a furnished bedroom and in a furnished suite. All decorated by an exquisite eye.
I am grateful for that day. The steak we've shared. The photos we've taken. The people we talked to. The ball of ice cream that fell off my cone while we were eating at a bench.
The sex we had, minutes after entering the room for the first time.
The morning, where we laid in bed listening to the radio. 80s music. Corey Hart - Never Surrender was a particular standout.
It was perfect.
and now, memory #2.
2) I am grateful for the conversation I had with Trina, the flea market psychic, a few months ago. She was kind and attentive, and listened to my ramblings with a clear and open heart. There was an instant connection between us from the moment we locked eyes on one another. Undeniable chemistry.
We were deep, loving souls. And had a lot in common with one another.
The conversation we had outside as we were smoking, is one that I'll never forget. That one moment where she looked deep inside of me and smiled, saying that I was a good man.
I was a good man.
As embarrassed as I was at the time to have let a few tears slide, I am grateful for having a stranger tell me this. In all those years of my finding it harder and harder to believe, as I grow ever more cynical with each woman I date. Until then, I become the monster that I never wanted to become, because so many people have convinced me that there was something irreparably wrong with me and that there was no way they could endure my company for longer than they did.
I am grateful for hearing those words. And knowing that they are true words, and that while I still have trouble from time to time in believing them; I continue to make effort, in trying to accept them.
Memory #3.
Credit goes to Georgina for this one.
I am grateful for all of the small moments of tenderness that you and I have shared together. The humor. The love that we felt, but didn't vocalize or felt in it's entirety, but knowing that it is only a matter of time, before we would.
I am grateful for how she dressed in that fishnet lingerie for me, and then sent my phone a photo of her wearing it, as I was driving on my way to meet her.
I am grateful for the way she flattered and flustered me, as she leaned over to sniff the back of my head and neck as we browsed around at Value Village. Making my hairs stand on end.
I am grateful for how she once asked if I could wear a sweatshirt for her, so that she would have an item of mine to smell whenever the mood strikes.
I am grateful for the kind way you suggested we play hangman on a napkin, to help combat my nervousness and hesitation, on the second date we were on.
I am grateful for the meals she cooked me. The back rubs she gave. The way she sang in the car. Her smile.
I am most grateful to have experienced her smile.
....
Think I got my three.
