The Arrival

Well, here they are. A Minecraft torch and a pack of Pokemon wall decals for Gina's kids that I impulsively ordered.

Now, what?


I was thinking about dropping those off at the local thrift store, but now I'm thinking of anonymously sending them over. No name or return address, or any indication that it was me that mailed it. But, now my mind (heart?) is telling me to include something else in the package.

Assuming I go along with this dumb idea.

And now, I'm wondering if I should include her tupperware container and thats it. Or also include that and a coffee mug with a picture of Gustav Klimit's "The Kiss" that I bought at the art gallery in the summer which I found among my pile of "random stuff to give random people" in my closet upstairs.

I don't know, man. I could just send her those two things anonymously and leave it at that. Including the tupperware is going to be good for a cheap laugh, and it will identify me. Since it'll identify me, why not throw in the coffee cup? This way each of them gets a gift.

But why am I bothering with this? The kids are blameless, I can send them gifts with a clear conscience. Especially anonymously. But if I throw anything else into the package that identifies me, then thats where the waters start getting murky.

The tupperware container would be a nice touch. But I feel like something else should go in there with that. No letters, obviously.

I was thinking of including this chicken thing I picked up a while ago.

You know, because its funny and symbolic at the same time.

(sighs) this picture sums up everything about how I'm feeling right now.

And it sucks.

She'll get a laugh out of the chicken, her kids will appreciate the toys and I can still sort of stay anonymous if I mail only those contents and nothing else. Maybe I'll even drive out to Saskatchewan and mail it from there. To further confuse her.

If she knows those gifts are from me, she's going to be pissed. But if I can do it with a wink and a smile, it could slide through. She'll be baffled at first, but she'll never be able to know for sure who sent it. I'll be lurking in her thoughts, obviously, but I can claim plausible denial.

Chicken, torch and decals.

Thats it. No tupperware.

But if I include the tupperware, I can use it as an excuse for sending her this stuff in the first place. "Thought you'd want your container back."

Except.. (sighs)

Yeah, I can't do this any other way but anonymously.

Anyways.. its been a girly birthday weekend for me. Gynger stayed overnight with me on Friday, and then got pissed that I answered a message from a girl on Tinder the next day, so she asked me to take her home. I'm pretty sure she has feelings for me that she doesn't want to admit. Its not like I was carrying on a conversation. Just a "hi" and "I have company over, I'll talk to you later" message, which I sent because Gyngie was on the phone with her daughter and my phone buzzed with a Tinder notification that I've been "super-liked" for the first time since I've used that app.

Guess who it was? A girl I went out on one date with, almost a year ago.

Here's her profile.

So, why is she messaging me now? Why was I super-liked? When we went out that one time, why did she do that despite the fact that she had a boyfriend, and was texting him throughout our meeting?

I thought she was attractive, but she had three kids and a boyfriend at the time. I guess our "date" was some sort of platonic experience for her. Unless.. maybe she was single now?

No, she's not. And thats just sad.

So.. wtf? An attractive 28 year old super-likes me and.. well, the conversation didn't go anywhere. I wasn't about to go out with a girl who has a boyfriend, and so I didn't bother writing anything that indicated interest in doing so. I was more interested in what her justifications were for using a dating service if she already was attached.

Turns out, the boyfriend wants her to get into a threesome. So she's on there to find women.

So many red flags in this. I was texting Gyngie about her while this was going on after I dropped her off at home. Pretty girl, but boy.. she seems all kinds of damaged and I don't know what exactly is she hoping for from Tinder.

And today, I'm getting messaged by a lady named Ginelle. She's one of those "u" and "lol" types that I find hard having a conversation with, but its going so far. She just asked for my number.

Eh. I'm so tired of all this. I don't want to date anymore.

I don't need drama in my life.

Just the one girl that I lost.

Only her will do.

Tupperware.. coffee cup..

Hmm.

Torch, decal + chicken.

That sounds about right.

But thats only if I'm going to go through with this.

God help me.

I think I will be.