Nice title, huh? Thought of it in the bathtub earlier today while reading The Witch of Portabello, which I haven't picked up ever since putting it down as I mentioned in my last blog post.
Great book. I'm on page seventy-something at the moment and I'm having a blast so far. Paulo definitely encapsulates the kind of writer I would like to be someday, but boy, his style is a tricky one to mimic.
And I don't think mimicry is my goal, I think I'm more impressed by his technique than anything else, really. Well, maybe that's wrong, I love his ideas as well. What really gets me is how he structured this particular book. He introduces each chapter with an individual speaking of the main character (Athena) as to what their personal experience with that woman was. It's mainly dialogue, which is exactly the kind of thing I feel that I am best at doing, but have to suffer putting in descriptions of surroundings, etc. in my novel simply because that's how novels are conventionally written. You can't just write a whole book of dialogue, could you?
Mm. Of course you can. Of course I can. I just didn't think I could pull it off, even though I have a few years ago when writing those two conversational books in 2009 and uh, 2013 I believe it was. Sure it can be done, but..
Boy, do I need to hone my skills before I can feel confident in taking that approach. I still need to.. uhm, master this craft and my knowledge of the deep fundamentals of English grammar is quite lacking, to be truthful. I just don't care about prepositions, adjectives, fragmented sentences, clauses, etc, but I have to admit that not knowing the correct way of using an apostrophe (its or it's) and a possessive; is making my work look more amateurish than it ought to be.
I love reading. I know I have a knack for the written word, I just haven't troubled myself into learning all the rules governing my own damn language just because I don't feel like its really that important, although if I want to publish anything, it clearly would be.
Piers Anthony once said that in order for someone to walk, they shouldn't need to learn about the tendons and muscles in their legs. They simply walk. They simply write. And Hubert Selby Jr. also shared a similar point of view towards writing. He didn't know the ins and outs of the language like most writers do; he simply wrote what he thought and felt, and that made all the difference.
Anyways, big news yesterday, I met a girl on OkCupid that I'm over the moon with, but restraining myself from being so.
Why? Well, she's married.
Yup. Funny, huh? My life is full of funny.
She's polyamorous. Her husband is okay with her sleeping with other dudes, She already has a guy on the side, and a girl.
But, man. She's..
She's spiritual. She's interesting. She's attractive.
She brings out the intelligence in me, and I feel more in tune with the moments of my day thanks to having her in the back of my mind, and often in the front.
Alongside my ex, who I still think about.
Meh.
I know I'm not going to get my hopes up, but she agreed to meet this Friday, and I have no idea what to expect. We had a nice hour long conversation on the phone last night that went extremely well, so, I'm not particularly nervous about an in-person conversation, but I am a little nervous about physical attraction. Or attraction in general.
I can't fall in love with a married woman, can I?
Such crap. I've said this before in an earlier post, but I'm pretty sure that someone up there is laughing at me.
And I'm putting on quite the show of trying not to let it bother me.
And to be blunt, I kind of like it. Situations like this is making me into a better human being. I'm learning the value of restraint. Of having respect. Patience. Empathy. Consideration. Autonomy.
Lots of stuff.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't interested in pursuing things further with Fola (yes, that's her actual name) but I already know I can't. Can't get married to her. She's not going to have my babies. She's not going to move in with me.
Heh.
So what is this? Just a friendly relationship I guess. Her and her husband being poly, only means that sex may enter the equation and it would be without any strings attached. No obligation or commitment on my part.
Good enough, I suppose, while I wait around for the "right" girl to make her debut on the stage of my comically tragic life.
Mm.
Yeah.
One step at a time, and I'll get to where I need to be.
And once I get there.
I'll, uh..
Arrive.
And probably will scale a different other kind of mountain once I reach the summit of this one.
Mmph.
Let's hope it all works out.
