What strangeness. She really brings out my spiritual side, and the synergy between us is so that I feel perpetually uplifted, as if I've tapped into an unlimited amount of energy that flows through me, rather than being built up/discharged like it normally would be.
So, my last post described a bit of tension between Fola and I and I wasn't sure how that would play out the next day. Would it still be there? Lurking in the background, festering in the back of our minds and growing uglier and uglier by the minute?
Well, the answer to that, is it didn't fester. It wasn't forgotten, either, but all it took was Fola saying, "new slate" and that was that. Friday was one of the best days we've had for texting, period. We exchanged laughs, our favourite songs, got deep into a few metaphysical things.
Mm.. Also on Friday, I had stopped at the library to pick up this book called The Energy Cure, which I was intrigued about because the author was on the Higherside Chats podcast, and Fola is interested in Reiki (energy healing), so it made sense for me to put a hold on it. It didn't take long to arrive, and although I haven't read it, the universe decreed that I was to leave it at Fola's place on Saturday, so I did. Hopefully she will go through it and find something of worth for herself.
Saturday, I was over at her place and..
Well, this is the part that I'm.. kind of.. hesitant to talk about. But, when I came to her home and her sister was there, and her two-year old daughter Ivy, and Zoey her German Shepard; it really felt like I belonged with these people. That they were my family, in a way. Conversation was effortless. Sade had a great laugh and was easy to get along with. Ivy gave me a hug and a kiss at one point without my having asked for it. Even Zoey, her dog, who has a habit of barking like mad at strange men; managed to lick my hand and let me pet her at one point.
Fola's sister left shortly after breakfast, and we settled down on the couch. Ivy was watching Dora the explorer, and Fola and I kept touching each other off and on as we talked.
Eventually, Ivy had to take her nap, and thats when Fola decided to perform Reiki on me. Being that she is convinced that Reiki is the right path for her, and my curiosity was such that I needed to experience it for myself to see if it actually offered anything worthwhile.
Hmm. So, she lit up this bundle of Sage and a candle, and placed her fingers gently on my shoulders. I didn't feel anything. No tension, no "twitches", and as this was going on, I had to push the thought of "geez, this is boring" out of my mind so I could give the experience a fair chance.
It wasn't until Fola placed her hand a few inches away from my forehead, that I started to feel "something" happening. There was a definite heat coming off of her hand, which I wasn't too mystified by (or maybe it really was "energy"), and I felt a slight shifting around of my sinus blockage, being that I came in with a slight cold before we started this session. But it might not have had anything to do with what she was doing.
The most interesting part of the whole experience, was how I had an alien face pop into my mind as Fola was doing the hand in front of the forehead thing. Those almond shaped eyes, that oval face with yellow-white skin, and I was seeing a couple different variations of the archetypal alien. Just small flashes. And as this is going on, I was wondering what was the point of those images were. I thought that maybe this was my deepest fear being manifested or dredged up; but I distinctly remember being unafraid and more curious than creeped out. Another odd thought was, "is that me, that I'm looking at?" while an image of a typical "grey" stares at me from the abyss of my mind's eye.
Who knows man.. Whole thing with those images lasted for less than 20 seconds I'd think.
The rest of the session? Eh. I didn't feel any immediate benefit, thats for sure, There were no balancing of chakras, or anything esoteric that seemed to be a product of the experience. Honestly didn't seem like Reiki would be a good idea for Fola to pursue, but whatever, I didn't tell her that. Just my honest report about what I felt and experienced.
I think there is something to energy healing, but I doubt we've developed the right methods and understanding of how to best utilize it. I've had Reiki done to me before, and with this experience, it further cements my doubt on its validity as a healing method. Just a bunch of snake-oil horse shit. I really believe there is some obfuscation as far as energy healing goes, and its definitely present in the methods of Reiki.
Kundalini and all that, yeah.. Chakras, meridian points.. Don't know what to tell you man.. I doubt we understand a tenth of all of those subjects.
After the session, Fola and I went upstairs and fooled around in bed.
(sighs)
Yeah.. 100% convinced she's my soulmate/true-mate/whatever mate; and she agrees too.
Chemistry was unreal. She gave me oral, and I gave her oral, but decided not to straight up have sex because it would be our first time, and I would rather make our first time special and at my place, where I can get my lasers and fog machine and lights going. Yeah, I'm that much of a dork.
Still, the rituals are important. Atmosphere is as well. People don't seem to realize the unconscious elevation of one's psyche when it is in contact with a ritualistic atmosphere. There's a receptivity towards higher and greater things when you give sacredness to the environment and the acts being performed. That stuff is important and vital when wanting to connect to higher states of being. Extremely memorable as well, which is the point of my wanting to make our first time special.
Anyways.. It was 4:32pm when I began to book it out of there, since Fola's husband was going to be coming home from work at 5. She insisted that I didn't have to leave, but I wanted to. I respect Larry, her husband, and having him come home from a long day at work to see some dude fucking his wife; well, even if he's okay with it, I'm sure it would sting him in some deep place or another.
Don't know how these poly types do it, I tell you. I'm pretty sure that jealousy will enter the picture at some point, if it hasn't already, and I'm not talking about my personal jealousy which I honestly don't feel much of, I'm talking about her husband.
Some dude is texting his wife at all hours of the day, and has a chemistry with her that he doesn't have. Or can ever hope to have.
So, how can he be "okay" with that? Eventually something is going to break. Some kind of tipping point will present itself if things continue the way they have been.
And assuming that our relationship is going to get better and better over enough time together.
Yeah... This is the most interes.. Hmm.. is it the most interesting thing thats ever happened to me? Fola? I'm starting to think so.. I mean, its not often you find someone you have an instant connection with on some very deep levels.
Actually, I've never had anything with anyone else like I have with her. And how long have we known each other for? Two weeks? Geezus.
The future is so uncertain. As I parked in my garage and switched off the ignition; I felt the weight of loneliness come pressing down on me. It felt like I left my "home" and arrived to this.. place.. that pretends itself to be home. Abandoned my family, sort of thing. I admitted as much to Fola and she understandably was creeped out by it, but hey, I was honest, and told her that as well.
I'd love it if she was my wife, and Ivy was my kid and Zoey was my dog. Creepy? Yeah, okay. Go ahead and call it that, but its true. I would love it.
But again, if she was my wife, she would probably have driven me nuts if she wanted a poly relationship. Except, she only became poly a year or two ago; I'm wondering if that is because of general boredom with her spouse. Boredom she might not feel with me.
And yeah, creep factor high. I don't mean to sound like one, but I'm well aware that I do. I think it's important to understand where I'm coming from, and my blog is proof of how badly I desire to find the girl of my dreams and to perhaps have a child with her someday.
Well.
Kind of have something like that now, I suppose. Except its all.. part-time. It's not like I'll ever be able to live with her, unless something changes down the road.
Mm.
New day.
New moon.
New dawn.
I'm still walking the path.
