Anesthetic

(sighs) It wasn't a good day. It wasn't bad, it wasn't horrible, and it wasn't average.

It was pretty blah.

I think the first clue I had about it, was when I was watering my bushes this morning and saw a bunny shot out as if something fired it from a cannon. It was "the" bunny! My furry friend, and I pissed him off.

Then, Shelane.. well, let's just say that I was right about the 98% chance of us not having a relationship. Fun personality, but she's not for me. It also doesn't help that she's in an "open" relationship with another dude. Yeah, yup. Yep. Another dead end.

And lastly, my step mom, Annie. (sighs) I had to call her today to see if I could come by and pick up some of the furniture that my dad left me, and she said, "sure! no problem!" but when I brought up the car that he left me (according to the will), she hemmed and hawed and said, "I'll have to talk to the girls about that." meaning my step-sisters. And it's the same answer she gave me two weeks ago regarding dad's stamp collection, which he also left me, that is now under lock and key. I still don't know why the office where the stamp collection is locked, but it is. Annie told me that I would have to go over the stamps with Sam. Basically, an answer designed to stall and misdirect.

My dad really made a mess of the family he had after divorcing my mom. I feel so bad for him. I still remember the awkwardness of having to meet a Filipino mail-order bride when I was 14, and then having to live with her, despite her inability to speak much English.

There was a letter, my dad once wrote her that I read before she arrived, it discussed how he didn't enjoy going to bars, and having to date locally.

Well, dad. I think you should've found a bit more courage and faith in yourself. You deserve better than Annie. You deserve better daughters, too, being that one of them said, "I fucking hate dad" and the other is only pretending to like you. But you already knew that.

And your wife.. is nuts. I don't want to put down exactly everything that Annie has done for me to come to this conclusion, but I will share this one event that happened last year.

I was over, visiting my dad and sitting with him at the dining room table like we usually do, when Annie comes home from work and comes up to us, and starts talking to me.

"David, there is something wrong with your father! He fell down and hurt himself! He drinks! He smokes too much!"

I don't remember exactly the words she said, but she was basically railing on my old man right there in front of him. My dad was 71 at the time, so yeah, he was having problems with his health. He didn't tell Annie or his daughters, but he told me four years ago that he had cancer. No shit my dad had trouble walking, and might have fallen at some point. No shit he drinks, to numb the pain. Of course he smokes, to distract himself. But he always felt like a responsible man to me. He never drank to the point of blacking out, or becoming an abusive alcoholic. He smoked maybe about as much as I did, likely less. And, he just.. didn't earn this stream of abuse that was coming from my stepmother's mouth.

I've only recounted some of the stuff she was bellowing about, but then it got really weird.

She started screaming about how he was evil. And... phew.. the crazy makes me wince, just remembering it, but she thought he was "controlling" her brain and.. I just.. sat there, in stunned silence, listening to all this and watching my dad's expression.

My dad tried to smile it off, as if reassuring me that she is crazy. Well, from what my little sisters told me about their mom over the years, I knew to take my dad's side on this one.

It was such a painful moment to experience. Both for myself, and likely for my dad as well. He didn't know how to respond, other than to laugh. But I could feel that pain behind his eyes. It was brutal having to watch him be subjected to this lunatic. Worse yet, to live with her. To have married her. To have two daughters by.

Dad.. Why.. WHY??

And just when I think that it couldn't get any worse, Annie starts screaming / crying. I stood up and rushed over to her, trying to give her a reassuring hug while she sat on the floor, wailing. I kept trying to bring her back to Earth, and I think I did, I think the calm in my voice and the patience I had while sitting down with her; made a difference. Eventually, she snapped out of her tears and it was as if they no longer existed. She then just left the house. And that was that.

This is just one anecdote. And now, having to deal with her not giving me the car or the stamp collection that dad has willed me, I'm.. just... sad. Sad that this is the legacy my father has left behind. This broken, twisted woman and two stepsisters that I loved very much when they were young, but no longer do. Because they too, have grown into women that I no longer recognize, or respect.

Sam wanted to move dad's funeral past a week, because there was a car show exhibition in Calgary she planned on going to her with her boyfriend.

Stephanie won't talk to me. Direct questions through text, get ignored, and even sadder is when I asked her a question involving money that dad had; suddenly, she was writing me back again.

"Why does the bank need dad's death certificate?" she says. And after I told her, I asked if she saved dad's Czech passport (with a picture of him at the age of 21, that I wanted to keep) and.. nothing. Dead silence.

Same with Samantha, she'd only write to me if she feels like she has to. Or if there is money involved.

Sam and Steph were two beautiful girls growing up.

And now, they are..

(sighs) ..

I don't want to condemn anyone. I don't want to go to court over dad's will.

But at the same time, I know this is what he would have wanted me to do. To fight for what he has left me, and to not give in to the crazy woman with the crazy rhetoric, trying to worm her way out of giving over my inheritance. Apparently, having a 400,000$ home is not enough of a "win" for her.

At her house a few weeks ago, as I was picking up some pictures; she was telling me about how broke she was. Too broke to rent a U-Haul, she says. And as I'm walking around the house, I'm noticing all the new renovations. New hardwood flooring. New paint. New furniture.

"How are you paying for all this Annie? I thought you were broke?"

"Oh, Government loan."

Give me a break. I told her she should sell the house, move into someplace smaller, and give money to her daughters education. Nope. She says the economy is weak, and that it's not a good time to sell.

Which doesn't make sense. Because if you sell a house for 400k, and buy a townhome or apartment for 200; what difference does it make if its a buyer/seller market? None!

"I'm broke, David."

And shortly after the funeral, she told me about the 40+ thousands of dollars she's in debt. And she never had to pay a mortgage, or any of the utilities, and my dad managed to pay off the house in cash.

The..

Okay. I'm done typing. I don't need to vent. I don't need to explain. I know exactly what I'm dealing with, and what my father wants, and what I have to do.

But it still sucks.

In other news. Vanessa from eHarmoney involved herself in a conversation with me yesterday.

Guess what she is?

A psychologist... (dramatic pause) with a 4 year old daughter.

Yep.

I might be dating Lauren again.

I am definitely the butt of some grand cosmic joke someplace.

I miss Gina.

And I sunburned the whole front of my body today.

That's the last time I'll spend two hours shirtless in the yard practicing my poses for the Mr. Universe competition without any sunscreen on.