Something was different earlier today. I don't know what it was but it lasted for about two hours and felt like a disturbance in the "force" for lack of a better word. The collective psyche, or reality or my reality... something shifted.
I don't know what else to say. Something is different now.
I have been affirming the things that I want on my list that I wrote about everyday now. I keep thinking of the good that I can bring into this world but I'm at the very bottom of it all. Financially, mentally, spiritually, physically...
I keep thinking of playing poker with Jeff Berwick and playing with his dog Lucy. Dinner with Max Igan, coffee with Lena, being on a warm sandy beach at night with Karlee, curing Karlee of T1, winning a lottery jackpot, owning a golden retriever, meeting a dolphin a sloth and a koala bear.
A green Jeep wrangler. New hearing aids. Publishing a book.
I knew three years ago that this was a spiritual war. I knew it and prepared for it and it all came crashing down bringing me to my knees.
Perhaps the spirit of Ahriman had something to do with it.
There are dark forces operating in this world. There was a reason why I was targeted. I didn't expect it to happen but I now know better.
These forces are powerful and not to be taken lightly.
I remember very well what it felt like to have my body taken over and made to go on a spontaneous road trip. I remember how it felt like I was operating on instinct/intuition and not really having time to question what I was doing. Just... being pushed towards certain objectives whether I liked it or not.
There MUST be good in this world. Of the opposite kind. Forces that propel one to new heights. To bring one out of the darkness.
I know there is goodness in this world. I feel it and want to do my part.
I hear the footsteps of my mother above. Dropping things on the floor.
I can't live like this. This is not realizing the fullness of my potential.
I would rather not live at all if I have no means of accomplishing what I came here to do.
That's the honest truth of it. I want to make a meaningful difference. I have tried. Several times.
And things just keep getting in the way of it happening.
I ask for a real chance this time at doing what needs to be done.
For the betterment of myself, my family and others.
I was told that there was a special plan and that I would change the world.
I want to do that.
And I realize I am up against an invisible enemy that does not want to see it happen.
But there must also be invisible benevolent entities.
Some of whom may be reading these words I type. Some who do see my potential, my willingness to help and to make a difference.
This world needs to change.
There is no time to waste although that is all I have been doing this past year and a half.
Wasting but also waiting.
Waiting for the signal.
I already know what that signal would be.
Once it's received.
It's game on.
