It's been... three years of constant learning about what is going on in the world, how it works and who it is controlled by.
I'm reaching conclusions. My skeptical mind has been collecting all of these pieces and fitting them together in a grand tapestry that shows the bigger picture.
Looking back at my life and the strange experiences I've had, I realize I have been a targeted individual. The first and most obvious incident being where I met the "dark man in the hat" who was... in an strangely marked police car, looked like the smoking man from Xfiles and had an interest in me around the year... 2013 I believe.
It's a long story but at that time, I acted erratically on purpose and I think I drew the wrong set of eyes upon me.
The man looked... inhuman but resembled one. He was out of place too, driving a model of police car that I did not ever see in Fort Saskatchewan in the 12 years I lived there.
The incident at the hotel a few years ago in St Paul where it felt like I was being blasted by radiation waves inside the room EXCEPT for a small spot in the bathroom was extremely revealing. There was a deep intermittent humming coming from below me. Upon later investigation, I discovered I was directly above a conference room where a bunch of indigenous people were having some kind of gathering. It looked like a birthday party but I saw a strange metallic object sitting on the table and the participants all turned to looked at me when I walked past.
I realize this makes me sound paranoid but I have a skeptical mind to begin with and it took me a while to accept what my intuition was screaming at me.
It made sense why my ex arrived when she did and why my heart chakra lit up prior to meeting her. It made sense why one day standing in my bedroom I was hit with a wave of lust for no reason whatsoever. My chakras were being manipulated/stimulated from afar.
I now know why certain people have been placed in my life. To retard my spiritual progress. To keep me from going into an unpredictable direction that would cause problems for the "system".
No wonder my mother was excited for me to be living with her. No wonder she didn't protest at me wanting to sell the house.
No wonder.
This is a spiritual war we are in. There are dark entities among us who look like humans. There are also angels among us. People filled with energy and light and goodness.
And there are those of us caught in the middle. Being pulled both ways.
I am putting pieces together but I am concerned about getting out of the hole that I am in. I've learned the lessons and figured out what to watch for. But now I am in a terrible place to act from. I cannot recover in this environment living with my mother. I cannot resume my spiritual progress in this prison that I am in.
Scratching my head and face constantly due to how itchy I feel. Waking up in the mornings with nothing to look forward to except more learning, more media consumption and more thinking.
And no privacy. Constant interruptions.
All by design I'm sure.
Deliverance and renewal. Father and Mother.
I continue to wait for the signal to begin moving forward with what you both wish for me to do.
I can achieve great things for us. For humanity to move forward.
After all I've gone through, I now understand the importance of money and the necessity of balancing my head with my heart. To avoid the wrong type of people and to not think they can somehow be reformed or changed into better people.
I am ready to be a conduit for good. I am miserable and lonely and broke right now but that makes me capable of understanding how this fallen state feels and I want no further part of it.
I am ready to put in the work.
If you will find me worthy.
Allow me the opportunity to prove myself.
And I will take us far.
