Dreams, let me tell you about one.
So, it's 2:30am on a Friday morning and I was.. stirred into wakefulness because of something I had dreamed about.
So, let's see what that was from what I'm able to recall.
The setting is Mexico I believe, although I did wonder for a bit if it might have been Cuba, I'm not sure, but Mexico feels more right.
Took place entirely at night, the beginning of the dream as far back as I can recall, had me started in the passenger seat of a car that was being driven by a grizzled character. Possibly a drug lord, since I was getting that particular vibe off of him. No bueno, you'd think, right? Actually, he was a buddy or some kind of character that was interested in my company. So he took it upon himself to drive through a part of the country to show me some particular sights that he felt I needed to see.
I'm also vaguely aware of a third person in the vehicle with us, but that detail is toast. Can't remember exactly. For some reason, I get a sense of that third person being another version of myself, if that makes any sense. In the backseat.
First thing I remember during our drive, was the slums. It wasn't horrifically as bad as I expected, but there were some odd moments. Such as when we slowly drove by what appeared to be a basketball court or school building, and there was this little brightly-lit area among the darkness. It was illuminated by one or two of those large lights, like you see at worksites with the generator. Except they didn't have the generator. Or none that I could see.
So, this one particular thing we saw while my host slowed down, showed a guy in a hoody bending over smoking from a crack pipe. There was possibly another guy there doing it with him, and there was a sign or something in Spanish that said something to the effect of "this drug is legal here". Like it was permissible to smoke crack, but only within the confines of this certain area.
I remember in the dream my window was down, the air was warm, and I could smell the chemical-like odour of that crack pipe floating into my nostrils. I comment on it to the host, and he nods in disgust, as if it was a problem he himself hated to have to acknowledge existing. Again, this guy looked like a drug/crime lord; so, I had the sense that he was troubled by guilt at seeing this.
We kept driving past, and that is when we saw islands in the ground. Well, not really islands, but small hills of green that sprouted up in various places. There was more light now than before, so they were more defined. Just a bunch of small hills, possibly no taller than thirty to forty feet at the summit. I remember thinking they were beautiful, and I commented on this out loud to my host and the third person with us.
We then approached another kind of hill, but it was in the middle of the road. Embedded partway into this hill, was a bunch of musical instruments and various other objects. This also was a much higher hill, so we were forced to drive up its side to get over. I'd see a saxophone partly buried in the grass, the neck sticking out. Part of a piano, and a full intact piano, etc. Finally we get over the hill and arrive at a level park-like area. No more hills.
We get out of the car, and start walking when I could see at a distance, a person, a tough looking woman actually, standing in the slight darkness on top of a box, holding a machine gun. Like those old school Tommy guns. I was nervous because she quickly aimed in our direction, assessing who we were but my host nonchalantly continued walking forward, and I followed in his wake. As I approached closer, the official sort of looking lady, gave me a nod and lowered her weapon. It felt as if she was incredibly paranoid before knowing who we were, but relaxed considerably once we came into view.
Now, for the last and most interesting part of the dream. We come to a kind of.. sunken area.. in this parklike/slum place, and my host descends three steps down and disappears in a corner. Well, not really disappears, but blends in and he no longer plays a part in the rest of this dream. The area was small, kind of felt like a steam room with the built-in benches all around, but really wide ones. Area might have been... thirty-by-thirty feet in a rectangular shape.
I didn't descend the steps, but I sat down on the middle of them to observe what was going on. On my left, there was what appeared to be a somewhat butch blond lesbian woman with part of her shirt open. Her breasts dangled, and another woman next to her was.. I guess, fooling around sexually with her? Didn't see any penetration or actual genitals involved. A bit further from them, in the partial darkness, was another similar couple, also engaged in some kind of foreplay. On my right was a man and a woman openly having sex. She was in the missionary position with her boobs jiggling and the guy was more or less fully clothed on top of her. There was this air of "freedom" about all this, as if these people wanted to be there, and enjoyed what they were doing. There was maybe.. eight or nine people in total, all engaged in some variety of sexual experimentation/foreplay/ecstasy/etc.
I remember thinking this all felt like some kind of orgy pit. Where you go down and pick whoever you want, and start messing around. I still didn't get off my step. Just sat and watched.
Now, as I'm sitting there, a procession of young girls came out from someplace and started walking past me, up the steps. Each were giving me a "look" as if I was expected to choose one of them for my own personal pleasure.
They were between what looked like 18-30 years old. Dressed as if they were heading out to a club for the night. Some had dresses and skirts, actually, most if not all of them did.
So as they're passing me up the steps, I remember looking at each one in the eyes. It was a blur as I made eye contact and moved over to the next set of eyes, not really knowing what to do next.
Finally, after about a dozen of these girls walked by, one stopped and fixed me with a glare. She was a pretty white girl with long dirty blond hair in a skimpy, if not pale looking red dress. She then asks me why I wasn't picking anyone, and I got the sense that she was insulted that I looked at her and moved my gaze onto the next one.
She asked if I was after eye colour, and I said no, eye colour didn't matter to me.
About two girls after her, was the set of eyes that caught my attention. They were of a bluish-grey and the girl looked to be about 19. The other lady who was maybe 27, took notice of my new-found attention and nodded, leaving as if she was satisfied that I finally made a choice.
So, this new girl says, "okay" as she looked at me and then said for me to go up with her to her room.
Her "room" was on my left, up a flight of stairs. I walked in to see a small bedroom, with a giant queen sized bed taking up most of the space, and two other girls on it, both of them looking like they were 16 or younger of age. Both of them looked rather apathetic and jaded. A third girl sat on the floor watching a large flat-screen tv. Next to that, was a big fish tank where I could see a school of tiny fishes all huddled together, not really moving.
On the floor next to the tank, was a puddle of water. I remember being bare foot, and feeling tickled. Looking down, I noticed some of the small fishes in the tank, was on the floor, and lightly swimming against my feet.
That is when it hit me, for some reason. I was in what was a whorehouse or brothel, and these girls were being trafficked. Interestingly, I didn't see a problem with this as much as I should have. I thought it was a genuine connection between me and this other girl, and I remember feeling inside my pocket for money to pay her with, and only having around five bucks in loonies/toonies. Which wouldn't fly in Mexico, since they deal in Pesos.
There was a guy that soon came into the room, wearing dark sunglasses. Totally a pimp. Skinny and young, I tried explaining to the girl while he looked at me that I didn't have much money, but I could get more later if it wasn't enough. Somehow I figured my five bucks in Canadian money was like hundreds of dollars to them. So apparently this wasn't an issue at all when I brought it up.
And... That's it. The dream ended at this exact moment. Didn't have sex. Didn't pay anyone. But I was left with this lingering feeling after I woke up, like... this sense of helplessness and poverty and an amount of heartfelt empathy for those people and whatever country/place/area I was in. They had it rough, and I was just a tourist passing by.
Strange. I'm usually pretty good at sleuthing out the meaning of dreams, but this one is particularly troublesome. For one thing, there doesn't seem to be any obvious symbolism. It was very plain and grounded in reality, it seemed. Apart from the embedded musical instruments in the hill and the lady standing on a box holding a machine gun, as if she was a sentry guarding something important that I was being given access to.
So.. yeah, I have no idea what it all means. My head hurts just trying to think about it. But I know I had to write it down. As in, get out of bed, grab the laptop and start typing. That rarely happens, and when it does, I try to make sure I get out as much detail as I can before the memories start to slip back into the ether from where they came.
Mm.
That's where it's at. Back to bed I go.
