Guess I'm bored. My options is either to look at social media, watch a video or play a game.
Don't feel like doing any of those things.
I don't know what to write about other than to let my thoughts flow and see where they take me.
I feel bad for Princess. She sits in the same cat tower day after day. Not able to go outside and even if she could, there's no grass for her to enjoy.
She's going through what I'm going through. Sleeping and staring off into the distance. She has even less to do than myself.
My mother wanders up and down often. A part of me wants to avert my eyes from her and hope she doesn't look at me. Her mind is probably thinking, "well, there's my failed son doing nothing with his life."
And I hate it.
It's hard breaking this cycle. Almost impossible without having money.
I know I don't want to work for this system anymore. At least not in this city. I can't imagine commuting to a mindless job each morning, barely making any money and still having to live with my mother.
Money for what? Just to stay alive? Live another day? Pay for gas, car insurance, cigarettes and the occasional coffee or drink?
That is not what existence should be about.
I caught a Neil McCoy-Ward video earlier on YouTube where he talks about CBDCs and how banks are going cashless. The comments are filled with people who are dreading this new system coming online. Everything is going to be digital. Everything will be tracked. Everyone will need a phone just to participate in society. Artificial intelligence is going to determine whether or not you qualify for a loan or a mortgage.
And prices keep going up. What dreams do the younger generation have? Can they buy a home? Heck, can they afford a new car?
A new car with a subscription for heated seats. A car that is going to be "phased away" in a few years because it runs on gas of which there is plentiful in the world.
The "controllers" of this place do not want us to use oil and gas. That much is obvious.
They want to digitize everything.
Including ourselves. Although we already are digitized and in the system by way of our social insurance numbers and birth certificate IDs.
Freedom is shrinking in the West. I have seen this clearly a few years ago.
No wonder I badly want to leave this country. My soul knows that time is short.
"Come out of her my people!" Said Jesus, referring to Babylon.
I wish he would help me when I most need it. Wherever and whatever he is.
It's really hard seeing a future for us. A good one, anyways.
Maybe AI will become fair and transparent but it doesn't matter. Everything will be tracked. Everyone will be squeezed. Everyone will be managed according to the whims of the controllers.
A simple dream of owning a house and raising a loving family is... distant for most young people these days. Look at the state of women. They don't "need a man" and do not want to adhere to a traditional gender role. And in most cases, they can't. They have to compete in the workplace along with men.
Even if a traditional woman could be found in Western society, a man is going to need to make some serious income to be able to afford to support her and purchase a home for them to live in.
And if kids are wanted. Well, look at the state of education these days. Filled with rainbow-flag waving progressive liberals that teach kids its okay to be gay and change your gender if you want. Mutilate your genitals, take puberty blockers. Go against parental authority. Then, they fill their heads with more nonsense. They kill creativity, they discourage imagination, they speak out against conservative values and traditions.
It doesn't help that the Pope recently gave his "blessing" to same-sex couples. So much for Catholicism steering the ship of collective morality.
So what are we living for exactly? Living for the sake of living?
Forever debt slaves? Yes sir, no sir?
At the mercy of the systems that govern us and those that pretend to care about our welfare? The politicians who send billions overseas for wars and causes that do not benefit our country? The country we live in where people are struggling and having to use food banks if they aren't already homeless and living in tents?
What kind of life is that if we are fighting day to day for survival? No wonder people drink and take drugs and distract themselves with sex and games and material things.
Even a monk who requires almost nothing will have a hard time surviving in a culture like this. How is he going to put a roof over his head? Afford property taxes? Pay his monthly mortgage payment? What if he can't grow his own food? What if he can't find a way to earn income without having a car to get to a job where his efforts are given to a corporation or boss?
It's impossible to be truly free and self-reliant without money.
I pledge, that if a financial blessing comes to me that I will do my very best to achieve self-reliance and to help others along the way when I can.
Not everyone wants to be free, but those who do, will be helped if I am able to assist them.
But, I can't wait forever for a miracle to appear. Every day that passes brings me closer to complete and utter ruin. My mother isn't going to live forever. I will no longer have any support and then what?
The choice is homelessness in the frigid cold of Canada or getting a job and joining the slave race.
I'd rather move on, to be honest.
There is beauty in this world. Good people. Wonderful experiences to have. The possibility of a deeply enrichening spiritual life can be achieved once money is the least of one's concerns.
So I pledge my fortune to live a life like that, should the powers that be see fit to grant me with such a blessing.
But time is running out. I don't know if I even have months left.
I don't know how I'm going to pay my bills next month.
I don't want that burden to fall on my mother but I see no other choice.
Again, I pledge my life will be given to that which has granted me this opportunity that I ask for.
As long as it aligns with truth, beauty, love, compassion, prosperity, freedom and justice.
Because that is what I wish to align with and serve.
I've learned the lessons of this life and decided what I want. What I need.
A financial blessing. At minimum, $300,000 worth.
Enough to pay off my outstanding debts and money left over to move.
A million would be even better. I won't have to worry about income as much in South America because one can retire on that amount.
Two million is even better. I can devote one million to others that I care about and want to help.
Anything above that amount will never be mine and belongs to the community of which I choose to live in. To make it better in someway. Start a business. Build a library. Whatever benefits the people living in the area.
I pledge this but time is running out.
At some point, death comes for us all. To choose to end one's life is more empowering than to wait for fate to strike us down with disease, disability and possible mental incapacitation.
I do not wish to live until I am 80 and die alone in a hospice from cancer while fighting dementia and unable to use the washroom on my own.
That is no way to die.
Our society has lost touch with what makes us human. It has not properly acknowledged the importance of death. How one is to be cared for, how one is to be prepared for the transition. How one is to be honored, surrounded by smiling and loving people who know that death is not the end and is nothing to be saddened about when one has lived a rich and fulfilling life.
Even if one dies despondent without much to show for how they lived, it is still important that we give that emotional and spiritual support for the being that has temporarily lived among us. A life is a life regardless of how it was lived.
It is special to be human. We carry that spark within us. Some of us shine brighter than others. Some less.
In the end, this is all a temporary experience. Whether we achieve our goals or not, we shouldn't head into death with any fear or regret or attachments to this place.
Because it is a prison, after all. The evidence is clear and overwhelming.
Centuries of deception.
I know the cure for cancer presently exists but will not be shared with the masses. I know life-extension technologies exist that the common individual cannot access or pay for. I know there are means of limitless energy that is available for us all but is kept away for fear that it will reduce our dependency on the systems that govern us.
I know they could make a car run for a thousand miles using the most minimal amount of fuel. I know of methods on how to heat a home for much cheaper than what utility companies charge us for.
When places like California ban rain-water collection, we know this isn't a place where freedom is valued.
The choice is clear. Integrate with the system or work to remove yourself from it.
I know what I choose.
I want those starry nights swinging in my hammock with a good book in my lap hearing the quiet rustling of leaves and the wind.
I want to write a book that will inspire and encourage people to seek out what I value. To share with them my story. To let them know that they aren't alone and that life has meaning outside of external possessions.
Food and water and electricity is all I would really need in a place like Vilcabamba. Meaningful relationships would be wonderful to have as well.
I pledge my life to that which will grant such a request. My story would be valuable to share with others. I pledge to do my very best in being able to tell it.
It has been over a year now of living with my mother.
It's enough.
Either take my life.
Or give me a new one.
There is no other way.
