I was at Michaels, looking for a photo collage frame so that I can put my baby pictures inside and give to my mom for her 65th birthday. So, I was browsing the frame aisle and as I couldn't really find anything I liked, I began to leave when this strange guy came up to me.
"Hey," he said, holding a piece of paper in his hands.
"What's up?" I asked, noticing that it was a coupon for 50% off any regular item.
The guy told me just that, and handed it over saying that it was only good for one person per purchase. So, he had an extra. Would I want it?
"Sure, thanks!" I replied, suddenly realizing that I could go back to the aisle and looking at the really, really expensive frames now with this coupon.
So, I go back in the aisle, nope. Nothing.
Another aisle with frames, nope.
Another, no.
And then at the last one, was the guy who gave me the coupon.
"Hey, you again," he said.
"Hey, I'm looking for a collage type frame to give to my mom for her birthday, but I'm not having any luck."
"Oh, that's too bad."
And rather than write out the entire conversation, he started telling me that he was looking for frames to put his wedding photos in. I leave the aisle again, and go down a few rows. Again, I couldn't find anything I liked. Even with the 50% off coupon, so I'm making my way to leave with just a single frame for something altogether unrelated (a photo of me and my dad that I have to transfer over) and then this same guy comes up to me again. This time, he's holding one of the photo collage frames that I didn't like.
So, we got into conversation. His name was Jack, he was a welder, 56 years old and he just got married a few months ago. I gave him my congrats and asked if it was his second or...?
Turns out, this guy got married for the first time ever, at the age of 56. Plus, his wife also was unmarried her entire life. She was a 51 year old Chinese lady living in Vancouver. They were having a long-distance relationship, and she wants him to move out of Edmonton to where she was.
As we kept talking, it got really really weird. He told me he met her online, on eHarmoney. And then when he told me that he could write a book about all the bad dates and relationships he's been on, I was like, "I know! Me too!"
His father was from close to the Czech republic.
"Mine, too!" I said.
"I'm half-Polish," I tell him.
"I'm half-Polish, too." he says.
And it gets obvious, that at this point, I'm talking to the older version of myself.
"My parents got divorced when I was 10." he says.
"uh... oh man. mine, too."
"I couldn't let myself be vulnerable with women. I had a hard time trusting them."
"Me.. me too."
And so it went, we stood there in the photo aisle for over an hour, talking about love.
Love. How weird is that? How uncommon is it to be able to talk to a complete stranger, with outright honesty and trust and discuss love? Just because... just, because?
I told him about Georgina, he listened attentively and told me that if it was meant to be, then it will be. And he also told me, that he broke up with the woman that was now his wife, and that the break really helped with giving their relationship a needed perspective. He was definitely in love with her, I could tell by the way he talked. He was a very happy man.
There was so much we talked about that I don't think I can cover it all in this post. I pulled out my phone, and showed him my two favourite pictures of Gina.
This one, (he said aww)
and this, to which he said, "you both look really happy."
And.. phew.. I was.. getting kind of uncomfortable at all this, especially when I started finishing his sentences, that I had this strong urge to leave the store. It felt so weird to have this random guy come around, and give advice about relationships and online dating and how I should be feeling, and what I should be doing. Advice from someone over fifteen years older than me, with experience, who has never had a relationship last longer than six months, until he met his fiancee. And then marries her, at fifty-six years old. First marriage for both. True love.
So, I shook his hand, and he tells me to never give up, and to always keep hope. And I.. was in a daze. So much so, that I almost didn't notice the pretty cashier that was tallying up my purchases (I ended up getting two of the collage frames I didn't like). But when I looked at her arm, and saw the phone booth from Dr. Who tattooed on; my eyes lit up, and I had to strike a conversation.
"Wow, hey.. is that from Doctor Who?" I pointed.
"Yes," she shyly replies, with a smile.
"Man, thats..." I smile in return. "That's awesomely dorky."
We both laugh, I find out her name is Jessie, and we get into about who the best doctor was, and what she thought about of getting a Dalek tattoo.. and man.. it felt so nice to have this rapport with people I've never met. Had I been something of a Casanova, I would've tried to ask Jessie out. She seemed really nice. Somewhat geeky, too. But I'm not a Casanova, and I didn't say anything afterwards. I don't want to be "that" guy, who hits on women in public and find out they're married or have boyfriends.
But yeah, Jack. I'm so grateful to have stumbled across him. He even said, "I don't think it was coincidence that we both met. I never do stuff like this and talk to some stranger for an hour" So... this really makes me wonder. Is synchronicity real? Do things really happen for a reason? Was it our destiny to have met each other? Or was it just coincidence? A freak occurrence?
When I told him about how Gina broke up with me (through text), he was sympathetic and told me about how his brother, did the same thing to someone he was dating. Then we talked about the importance of keeping in touch with your partner (not by texting) and he then patiently listens to me confess all the mistakes I've made in the past, and the ones I made with Georgina.
I told him about how stressed we both were in our last month, how my job sucked having to work in the hot sun for ten hours and overtime each day, and I told him about Gina's ex, and the court case she was worrying about for weeks, and how Cash was having problems, and the stress of being a single mom that I desperately wanted to rescue her from.
I told him how I tried so hard to be someone else, so that she wouldn't reject me and that she tried hard, to make me happy and it didn't quite work because of my scepticism that I gained from past relationships. And he agreed with all the points I was making, and gave his approval to the "plan" I came up with, to make sure my next relationship will succeed.
Even though he was helping me with a lot of my issues, I think I gave him good advice on one of his own. When he was telling me about how reserved and emotionally withdrawn his wife is, he told me that she said it was because of her culture, of being Chinese and that her family was the same way. That people are normally restrained and hesitant to express themselves. He didn't agree with her at all about that, until I pointed out that the scars of his parents divorce at 10, carried itself all the way with him up until he met his wife. So her cultural attitude about being hesitant about expressing emotion, is exactly the same sort of place where his hesitation came from his parent's divorce.
It's so crazy how the past defines us. Something we do or experience early in life, can carry itself a long ways in how we perceive the world. Even if it might be the wrong type of world, we're perceiving. I know I was carrying years of bullshit and baggage left on me by other women, that I couldn't believe there was any good people left in this world.
"Have faith, don't give up," Jack said, near the end of our conversation. "I hope I gave you something useful."
"You have Jack, thank you so much."
And off we went. Retreating from our little bubble back into the outside world. A world that seems so mysterious and strange, that it enabled us to have met that day. At that time. In a type of store that only overweight white women seem to frequent. It was so great to discuss these things. With minds and experiences so similar to one another. It was like two twins on similar paths in life, stopping to have a chat about their progress. I loved it.
Well, it's a good thing I wrote this down. I don't always run to the blog every time something happens, so there are some stories in mind of similar coincidences like this one that has happened to me in life. But I never bothered to mention them.
His name was Jack. That's hilarious. Especially since the main character of the last book I wrote, is named Jack.
But that's probably just a coincidence.
Even though he was helping me with a lot of my issues, I think I gave him good advice on one of his own. When he was telling me about how reserved and emotionally withdrawn his wife is, he told me that she said it was because of her culture, of being Chinese and that her family was the same way. That people are normally restrained and hesitant to express themselves. He didn't agree with her at all about that, until I pointed out that the scars of his parents divorce at 10, carried itself all the way with him up until he met his wife. So her cultural attitude about being hesitant about expressing emotion, is exactly the same sort of place where his hesitation came from his parent's divorce.
It's so crazy how the past defines us. Something we do or experience early in life, can carry itself a long ways in how we perceive the world. Even if it might be the wrong type of world, we're perceiving. I know I was carrying years of bullshit and baggage left on me by other women, that I couldn't believe there was any good people left in this world.
"Have faith, don't give up," Jack said, near the end of our conversation. "I hope I gave you something useful."
"You have Jack, thank you so much."
And off we went. Retreating from our little bubble back into the outside world. A world that seems so mysterious and strange, that it enabled us to have met that day. At that time. In a type of store that only overweight white women seem to frequent. It was so great to discuss these things. With minds and experiences so similar to one another. It was like two twins on similar paths in life, stopping to have a chat about their progress. I loved it.
Well, it's a good thing I wrote this down. I don't always run to the blog every time something happens, so there are some stories in mind of similar coincidences like this one that has happened to me in life. But I never bothered to mention them.
His name was Jack. That's hilarious. Especially since the main character of the last book I wrote, is named Jack.
But that's probably just a coincidence.
