I'm talking about "the book" of course. An imposing tome bound in human skin that shall become the legacy that I will leave behind.
The thing is, I hate discussing the book. As I was looking over past entries on my blog, I came across one that laid out how I felt about being motivated enough to put a book together. I started thinking, well, that was three years ago almost wasn't it? What have I done since then? And it hit me.
A hell of a lot more than I had hoped for.
It's interesting how it works. I have been consumed by many ideas for a book or screenplay during my lifetime, yet there was always that moment when I'm forty pages in and thinking, "geez, I like this other idea better." And then whatever I've done flies away like a deflating balloon. Pfbhthtjrkghghtutututtttt! It even makes that sound as it exits my consciousness.
It doesn't help that all of my previous ideas have been given enthusiastic green-lights by people who have read them, there was just nothing that inspired me enough to keep pushing forward with it.
Until last year that is. When I came across an idea so audacious that my enthusiasm has yet to wane over it. While I can't possibly describe what it is in detail, it is the most original thing I have ever thought of.
What really hit me, when going over that one post from two years ago, was the amount of pages I have came up with.
over TWO HUNDRED. Two hundred and nineteen to be exact, and that is not including the 136 pages I have of "supplemental" material that I still need to work on.
So I think I've found it. I've discovered what my legacy shall end up being, and it will be this book.
The fun part about writing to me, is how when I go about my daily routine, something just "pops" into my noggin and I scramble to get it written down before it flutters away.
Take for example a quote like this:
"Culture is the reflection of humanity's spirit."
It's short, sure, but it's true and to the point. It's what I consider to be a lead-in, where one sentence can inspire a diatribe or monologue that can be segued into. It can be fleshed out, dissected, examined, fried with bacon and then surreptitiously consumed (YUM). At the very least, it can inspire a few extra pages worth of material that I can shoehorn into the main body of my manuscript.
I'm really proud of what I have accomplished with this, and how it feels when I put together a paragraph that sings it's way off the page and renews my faith in the process.
The thing is, it's not an easy task to write a few hundred pages of fiction. Non-fiction, sure, I mean you can always find references and people to quote. There's a formal structure that is fairly simple to follow when it comes to putting together a "how to" or anything that is rooted in exploration of an existing or new idea.
But fiction? There is always the risk that your imagination will run out of steam at some point and you would have to start taking ideas from other sources.
I'm glad that isn't the case with what I'm doing. Not at this point, anyways.
Two hundred pages. When I look at my binder struggling to contain what I have written this past year, I can't help but feel both intimidated and proud of what I have done.
This isn't a subject I'm comfortable discussing, but who cares? As far as my friends know, this blog died years ago and I'm shocked whenever I see a visitor listed on my site meter, so.. at least this all appears to be quite anonymous. Though I do wonder why I'm posting it online when I should maybe consider doing an offline journal.
But hey, I love this blog and there's a sentimental attachment that I still have towards it.
So, this is me brushing off the cobwebs of trying to write informally again. I miss the times when every day was an adventure and I think blogging was really something that I needed to be doing more often. Because, it becomes inspirational in it's own way. "What should I blog about today?" is a thought that can reoccur over the course of my daily routine, and thusly encourages a more objective and interested perspective in the things that go on around me.
Let's hope I can get back to doing this seriously again, because I love it. I miss it. And I should never have abandoned it.
(*kisses monitor*)
Four more hours until I get to go out on a date! Maybe I'll even
