I'm ashamed of myself. Couldn't break up with her completely. Blocked her number, and she sent emails. Then, looked at the block list again and stupidly decided to text. Lead to an avalanche of texts, and she drove out an hour to the lake I was at.
Fuck, man.
I'm at work and I can't get into more detail.
I don't know what to do anymore.
She...
Fuck.
It feels like... She owes me, and I'm letting her repay her debt with monopoly money. Karma hasn't been lifted for whatever she has done to me. And is still doing.
I'm quick to forgive and slow to heal.
I...
Need to be patient.
Something is going to happen.
I need to be authentic.
And...
Ugh.
I'm ashamed.
I've nothing else to say.
Other than I'm sorry.
I'm naive.
I've always wanted to believe in love.
Always.
And a taste of it seems to be all I need to be contented with, and that's not true.
But I hold on with frail hopes.
And...
Sighs.
Fuck.
