Hello blog, its been a while. I'm somewhat apologetic for taking this long to write on you.
Many things have happened. Strange things. Interesting things. Bad and good and everything in between.
For starters, Fola is like a completely different woman now. Yesterday she decided to stay at my place instead of going to work while I went to do this confined space course. What happened when I came back? She cleaned three of my bathrooms, painted a picture, made blueberry scones and plugged in my wireless speaker because it was low on charge.
Then when I got home, she crouched behind me on the couch and rubbed my back.
And that's not mentioning the text I got from her earlier in the day, "hehe. I feel like a wife."
(sighs)
What a strange incomprehensible woman she is. What a difference. Even had a bit of a sense of humor in her texts, too.
Maybe my ritual is working. She loves me unconditionally, and has acknowledged and apologized for the mistakes of the past. That second part hasn't come true (yet), but the unconditional part... well, it sure is looking mighty nice.
And this is just Fola... She was here on the weekend, and dressed up in high heels and lingerie. I mean.. This is what I've wanted from her all along. But its not all the way there yet. She hasn't completely surrendered to me, but it feels like its almost here.. Almost.
I also did a Reiki course this weekend with Donna and Valerie. Two days for Reiki I and II certification. Also had an allergic reaction to whatever was in Donna's place. Most likely these scented oils they were diffusing. I've been fighting burning, itching eyes and dry skin and hives ever since. Not fun.
Then, there's work. Instead of giving me the three days off I initially asked for, I had to take a full week instead. So, two weeks off. And yesterday I found out that they're giving everyone a week off for a "reset" which means.. yeah.. three weeks off. Crazy.
Three weeks off. I really should try and accomplish as much as I can during it. Fola has encouraged me to start writing more again. I am definitely crediting her with getting me motivated enough to write this post. Sad as it sounds.
There is such an odd thing about my writing that I can't quite pin down. I write... when I feel like I need to. I have this... way of not wanting to write unless it is to impress someone, or if there is something on the line. Of a competitive nature.
I need to... write purposefully. And... I can't discount the value of writing on you, my dear blog, because I always feel good when I do. My thoughts are purged out and made permanent. They're given form and substance. They help straighten out and make my thoughts clearer. I mean, why aren't I writing more often on here? I should be, right?
And so, this is what I need to keep mindful of. To write. If nothing else, then to write on the blog and keep track of my day to day. It's so important. I'm really under-appreciating the value of doing this.
It's important. So important.
I can't lose sight of what I've always been good at. What I want to give to the world is somehow tied into my ability to write. I'm not sure what it will end up being, but it will be something, someday, I'm sure.
And Fola met me at the airport.
(sighs)
What a strange woman.
What a strange life.
I have to realize financial success. That's the goal I am setting my sights on at the moment, and I am about to purchase stocks in the hopes that it will lead towards it. I can't continue on with the rat and cheese maze of having to go to a job that doesn't bring out the best in me or is fulfilling. But, it is a means to an end at the moment and it feels like something I need to do.
Fola said it best when she described how she wants to "contribute" and not "work". I completely agreed with her on that. That's how I feel, too. I want to contribute. I want my contribution to come from a place of passion and desire and responsibility and commitment, and not spend so much of my time at something that benefits a corporation rather than myself and the people around me. Although money is exactly what that helps with doing. I am earning money enough to pursue my dreams.
Whatever they happen to be. An acreage. A dog. A wife and child.
A reason for living.
I am being lovingly guided towards a higher and happier purpose in life.
I am blessed with great wealth and prosperity so I can benefit my life as well as the lives of others.
Fola loves me unconditionally, and has acknowledged and apologized for the mistakes of the past.
Still going strong.
Still believing.
And may my will match that of the Creator.
For I cannot rely on myself to achieve what it is that He wants me to.
I do need help.
And there is no shame in asking or collaborating for it.
So...
Thank you blog, for listening. I will write to you again.
Soon, I hope.
And with more detail.
Arrivi Derci.
May we all be blessed.
