Wow, blog. Wow.
Strange times we're living in with marijuana about to become legalized here in Canada. I am excited and nervous and...
Something else.
Yesterday was... strange. Really strange. Finally got my code in the mail to register myself with a Canada Service account so I can file for unemployment, and I was shocked at what I saw when I clicked my TFSA contribution room.
$57,500.
This surprised the heck out of me because I used to have a TFSA but it wasn't ever used, and earlier in the year I checked with Scotiabank to see if I could begin trading in it, and they said it didn't exist.
So with a heavy heart, I went to TD to apply for a new TFSA so I can invest in weed stocks. It was approved and I resigned myself to thinking my max was $5,500 for the year.
Yesterday disproved that in a big big way.
I immediately knew that I had to move my shares to the TFSA. I had about $23,0000 invested. Some of it using my line of credit.
Logging onto EasyWeb and moving them over; I saw a pop-up on the screen.
I was stunned, again, for the second time that evening.
They offered me a line of credit worth $40,000. It took me less than ten minutes to have it go through and be given access to it.
I was... shocked... so shocked at how easy it was. How... it just popped up on my screen like that.
And the timing with the TFSA... well... I had to take 32k out and put it in there. Had to. I decided I will be paying it back before the month is up. My goal is to make 30% by October 10th.
I pray to God that I can realize this.
It is such a scary market to be in. Two of my stocks went up 32% and 21% today. I'm ahead only by about... six thousand I think. I'm still behind with HVST, which I bought for 1.60 earlier this year and is the stock that went up 32%. TGIF is the other one with a 21% return. I didn't invest much (1.5k) and wish I did more.
... then... there was this huge dip early in the day that caused some people to panic. The prices dropped, and silly me bought a few shares at higher than the close of the day minutes before this all happened. But thankfully, I am only down by a few hundred dollars after the smoke had all cleared.
...So scary.. so... exciting, that these are the times I live in. Witnessing the birth of the internet, the mobile phone and now the legalization of marijuana; I can't believe the opportunities I passed up on in the past. Like Bitcoin.. or the 2008 banking crisis where I did own a small amount of Bank of America shares, but sold them much too early and made only a few hundred dollars.
No more. This time will be different.
I am scared... This is not the wisest move to be making, to be borrowing against credit. But... I am also a believer. I believe this is a historic moment. These days will be talked about for years down the road once the Americans and the World legalizes it also.
I will be telling my grandchildren about these times.
Assuming I end up having any.
Fola... such a... mixed bag. Some days she's distant, other days she's incredibly loving and giving.
Yesterday, she was loving and giving. Today I got a text telling me how much in love with me she is. I felt uncomfortable. I love her, but... her emotions have these serious peaks and valleys that don't mirror my own sentiments towards her.
(sighs)
Other things today... felt compelled to go into the local thrift shop and one of the first books I saw, was "investing for dummies" which made me smile inside. There were also numbers I'd come across at the bank. 1,100 and 1,444.44. Saw the 44 stuff twice, for some reason.
I realize that this makes me appear superstitious. I'm not. Well... not as much as Fola is.
I realize... these things all happening are part of some larger plan... I don't know what that is yet. I am... on a precipice of some kind. I still feel dizzy from how the markets were today and I feel that... there's a choice looming on the horizon.
I can achieve my dreams, or let them fall by the wayside.
I am not speaking of writing, just yet. That can wait. Right now, I would like to realize financial freedom. Not having any debt, is a worthy goal to strive towards.
And I have debt that I've been carrying around for years.
No more. This is all or nothing, now. Otherwise I will continue to spend many years trying to pay off what I currently owe. Money that did not to me feel like was poorly spent. I had to buy a car when my last one failed. I needed to buy tires. Brakes. And certain other expenses.
I don't want to spend years having to pay off debt that I've been carrying for many years already.
Forget about finding work in my field. There is nothing out there right now for the foreseeable future. The stock markets are all I have as far as making money goes.
It's scary to confess.
But, somehow...
It is beautiful and magical, as well.
I can't possibly do justice with my words. I struggle to understand why I am feeling the way I am today. Having this kind of fearful, excited anticipation that feels like a persistent headache.
It feels like, Fola texted, an expansion of consciousness. Both in the collective and in the individual sphere.
Things are happening. Things that are new and different. Potential being unmasked, Opportunities laying themselves at my feet.
I feel that I need to let go of the fear I had been having, and to take a leap into the great unknown.
A leap of faith.
I still believe... I've seen things. I can't explain some of the things that happened to me. The timing of them... the reasons....
But, I also confess myself to be a small bit cynical about all this,
I would like to let that go if I can.
I would like to be able to be happy. And secure. And looking forward to the future.
And I can be.
But I must believe it to be possible.
I took a huge gamble today. There is no contingency plan other than bankruptcy for me.
But...
I believe.
I am ready for good things.
Aphria, Charlotte's Web, CannTrust and Aurora.
You will be my knights in this adventure I am on.
I... am so...
Last night after the shock wore off with the TFSA and the line of credit being offered, I had to run out of the house in pajamas to find a quiet place to think.
I... felt so grateful for this opportunity. I... wanted to find time to express it.
But... I wasn't as grateful as I'd like to be.
I suppose that's my cynicism creeping in.
I will believe once I see the numbers rise.
I will believe when I get 30% on my investments by October 10th.
And then...
Then....
The world changes.
And I will change along with it.
Thank you God.
Thank you blog.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I am blessed with great wealth and prosperity, so that I may benefit my life as well as the lives of others.
Let this be the new beginning to a wonderful and exciting future.
We're all in this together.
