Big drop in the markets today. Day after I put in over 30k into investments.
Sighs.
5-16% losses on most of them already. Some people on Reddit are anticipating a further drop tomorrow.
I think... Well... I believe those two things I mentioned in my last post has happened for a reason unknown to me,
The lesson that I've learned is to not be so impulsive. That when it comes to the markets, I set reasonable goals and buy in at an entry price that I am comfortable with.
I did that, but ignored the signs of a pullback coming. Too caught up in the euphoria and thinking I would swing trade for 10-15% before pulling out.
Guess that plan didn't work. At least it won't be working for a little while yet.
It's funny how it has been for me lately. Was holding ICC for the longest time, since around February and decided to sell that last week because it wasn't moving relative to the other stocks. Later on that same day, it jumps 10% for no reason, and went up further the following Monday as ACB announced that they are buying them out.
Did make money on CWEB. Still ahead on that. But not by much. And after yesterday, I am down at least a grand or so. Don't want to look at my bank account right now. I don't need that jolt to the soul.
I guess... Well...
Yeah.
I took a chance. I believed. And I still believe in the future of marijuana being legalized and the industries that will come from it. The numbers support all this. CBD and pot use is going to only be more in demand, not less.
But... it's hard when I see red numbers on my stocks. The day after I purchased a bunch of them on a line of credit.
... I don't like how I did that yesterday. Impulsive. Not rational. Not cautious. Just thinking the momentum would carry on. And yeah, in the morning everything was up in double-digits.
So much for that.
I feel a sense of defeated calm right now. It really doesn't matter. It's only money. If I absolutely have to, I can file for bankruptcy.
But... I won't have to.
I can be patient.
This is a test of faith, after all. How badly do I believe that I am deserving of being financially secure.
I am deserving. I...
I can't go on insulating.
I can't.
I don't know what I am destined for, but it is not that.
I know in the bottom of my heart it's not that.
I know... I have a gift to share with the world once I discover the best way how.
But, I need to secure myself financially and weather the coming storms.
That's...
Up to God.
And myself.
By any means.
Yesterday I felt so strange. Was buzzing with a headache. Consciousness expansion, Fola called it along with her feeling similar things.
There is a vibe in the air.
My stomach today feels... settled. Strange to describe it like that, when I should be feeling this uncomfortable lump or knot inside, but my stomach feels strangely calm and settled.
I don't have to panic. I won't allow myself to.
I refuse to live in fear.
And I don't have to.
I have...
I have someone at my side.
I have someone up above.
I still have my family.
I still have me.
Money may seem important right now, but it really isn't. Not when I believe that there are worlds beyond this one that do not place such emphasis or need on material possessions.
But... I don't need to fall before I can rise.
I have fallen enough times already.
I will rise.
I choose to.
No matter what comes next.
May God be smiling upon my soul.
Because I believe in him.
And I believe in myself.
Sighs.
Life will go on as it always has.
And I surrender myself to it.
