Biblical Times

Today was hard to get through. Woke up to banging from next door as they were doing renovations for the second day in a row. The walls here as so thin that as someone who values peace and quiet, I can hardly stand being here.

Living with my mother makes it worse. No privacy, no independence. Small superficial shallow talk between us.

Sitting in my Jeep at the park and... I cried a bit. Just like I cried yesterday sitting someplace else. In the dark.

I'm so tired of all this. I loved who and where I was. At one point I had 200k in uncashed stock, some gold, plenty of silver and even a little crypto with both my Canadian and Polish passport in hand and suitcases packed to go someplace. Like Mexico.

I keep thinking about the alternate path. The one where I sold those stocks in the morning when I planned to. My life has changed unimaginably for the worse because of oversleeping.

My God does not seem to hear me. Prayer doesn't seem to work. Calling upon the many different names of the Creator hasn't worked. 

There is no response.

I used to feel such a deep connection. Maybe because I was taking better care of myself, staying hydrated, not smoking nearly as much, going for walks, having privacy enough to take a bath in the dark with a book or just alone with my thoughts to let them wander.

Now I'm tense and disassociated from the world. I want nothing to do with it. I can't stand my environment. I can't stand the small talk. I can't stand the intrusions and lack of privacy and noise and being in this woke liberal city where I see two rainbow flags outside from the backyard hanging on balconies.

In the back of my mind the thought of euthanasia sometimes gets entertained. I don't want to do it but I don't see a path forward from any of this. Except if there is a miracle.

I planned my best to survive these biblical times. Had everything I needed. Debt would've been paid off and I'd have close to 90k in the bank to keep me going or to live outside the country. Could've rented out my old place.

Could've, should've, would've.

Now I'm in the worst possible position there is short of being homeless. Sometimes I wonder if being outside in a tent by myself would be better than enduring the noise and lack of privacy here. I just want to be alone with my thoughts. Connected to the Creator. Able to look up at the sky instead of an apartment building that covers 90% of it where I am.

Sitting in my mother's basement on a thin mattress. So pathetic. 46 years old. 

I feel like I am done.

Tried my best. Didn't work out. Lost my spark. The life in my eyes. The smile on my face.

Constantly staring at a screen all day because there is nothing else to occupy myself with.

And I'm at that point where I feel like I've seen enough of what is going on in the world to know that we're all going to be suffering terribly in the coming months and years.

Just hearing about the amount of immigrants coming over the border in America is bad. Seeing the number of immigrants coming to Canada is bad. Immigrants flooding Europe. Even Australia.

I know what is going to happen. All of them are subsidized with our tax dollars and given money for cars and a place to live. Jobs.

Then at some point the government is going to pull the plug. I think this is going to happen when Trump gets elected. Followed by Pierre in Canada. They are going to go full-on against immigration and will be shutting off the taps.

Once that happens, all hell will break loose.

When you are an immigrant in a foreign country that is paying you $2000 a month and giving you a free or cheap place to live; what is going to happen when that stops? Are you going to migrate back home? Maybe. But what if they don't allow you to? What if they close the doors?

What if you don't have enough money to return to your home country?

Crime. Theft. Chaos. Civil war.

It's already bad out there from what I've been seeing. 

I think that is what the plan is. They've been telegraphing it for awhile. Welcome all the immigrants we can get, subsidize them at our expense and then pull the plug.

Then, sit back and watch the fireworks.

I wish I could find a reason to be optimistic. Not just for myself but for Western countries in general.

I can't find any reason.

Politics are theatre. It doesn't matter who gets voted in. They're all beholden to corporate interests and unseen powers that lurk in the shadows that we don't even know about. Anyone who gets into a position of meaningful power is there because they are allowed to be.

Biden didn't get voted in. Trudeau didn't. Dan Andrews didn't. The UK prime minister Rishi Sunak didn't either.

That fellow in Brazil, Lulu, didn't get voted in by the will of the people.

Those who go against what the powers that be want, are replaced/fired/smeared or executed like the President of Haiti or that fellow in Africa who told people not to get the shots because it was all a giant ruse.

I don't think the people can win this battle. This is the reset. It's going to happen whether we have a say in it or not. Some are saying that we should not comply with authority but people are complying anyways. 

Taxes keep going up. Inflation keeps rising. Rent and home prices are skyrocketing. Food is out of control. Car prices are unbelievably nuts.

I can see the writing on the wall. The only way this gets fixed is if they switch us all over to a socialist system with digital currency so they can wipe away the debt, enact price controls and then track what everyone is purchasing. They can put an expiration date on the currency, they can also shut it off whenever they like and restrict purchase of certain products.

Let's face it, we will never be able to pay off the national debt unless something like this happens. 

This looks like the solution to the problem that they have created for us.

Yesterday I was listening to a speech from Klaus Schwab saying that in the future we won't even need elections because the results will be predicted in advance by artificial intelligence.

We're heading into a dystopia.

It's not funny anymore.

I feel like driving to a secluded forest with a tent, some supplies and spend my last days enjoying the sky. No cell phone. Maybe some music and a few of my favorite movies while I wait for death to take me.

Because there is no point to being a slave to this system. I refuse it with every fiber of my being.

I reject this world. There is no hope for us to regain the times we once enjoyed in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and the 90s. Everything after 9/11 has been a decline into a dead and vapid culture thanks to the internet, cell phones and garbage on television, in movies and in music.

There is nothing to feel uplifted by these days. Three years ago I was happy to come across Tom MacDonald and Dax who were rappers that actually had talent and a message to convey. I don't even like rap music but even those two right now are putting out uninspired and average content.

It feels like the spirit of God has left the world.

Creativity is no longer needed or appreciated in today's times. Everything is going to be run by and created by artificial intelligence which can write a song, a poem, a novel and a film script all in seconds rather than hours, weeks and months like it takes for a normal creatively inspired human being.

And people just aren't paying for original human-generated content. Who is buying fiction novels these days? Who is buying music?

I have also noticed that we don't have the big movie stars like we used to. There aren't any Harrison Fords or Nicole Kidmans these days. There aren't any up and coming talent new actor or actress.

Even if there was, the movie scripts are mostly uninspired, filled with woke nonsense and come across more like a commercialized product than a work of creative and imaginative art.

I used to say that culture is a reflection of humanity's spirit. 

Well, it looks like the spirit is almost dead.

I don't want to live in a world like this. I want my seclusion. My peace. My creativity. Love and happiness and the ability to connect with nature and the sky and God and animals.

Even other people. People who honor the truth. Who are smart enough to discern fact from fiction.

People who haven't stood in line waiting for jabs.

The devil has divided us. 80 different genders. Women can be as good or better than men while men are celebrated for putting on fishnet stockings, lipstick and behaving like deviants.

I weep for our younger generation. The kind that hasn't known life without the internet. The ones that get over 26 vaccines by the time they are 6 years old. Vials filled with formaldehyde, aluminum and other contaminations that impair brain function and produces autism and health issues at a rate alarmingly higher than it was when I came into the world.

Social media addiction. Narcissism.

Single unwed mothers all over the place because male/female relations have disintegrated so much.

Ugly tattoos. Entitlement. Everything is all about money.

I weep for this world.

We have been played. It started in the mid-1990s once gangster rap was popularized and rock music intentionally taken off the radio in favor of aggressive mumbling into a microphone rather than producing a work of art that is worthy of admiration. 

We won't see a song like "Power of Love" by Huey Lewis again. We won't see artists like Guns and Roses or Def Leppard again. No ELO. No Led Zeppelin. 

Just manufactured nonsense like Taylor Swift.

I miss the days of the crooners. Tony Bennet, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra.

Elvis.

I miss Elvis.

He wouldn't be able to exist today. He'd be a rapper covered in face tattoos if he did.

Yesterday the Canadian government announced that gas-powered vehicles will be phased out by 2035. 

We're done. That level of stupidity only means one thing. We are not going to be expected to drive. We are going to be expected to stay in overcrowded concrete cities while taking public transportation because no one is going to be able to afford an EV, a home-charger and able to replace the battery every 8-10 years at 50k a pop.

We're done.

I don't care if the pendulum swings the other way and suddenly fossil fuels is back and these repeals are lifted.

Because it's not going to happen anyways. No politician who wields real power will be allowed to repeal any of the current woke policies unless they are given permission to do so. 

They may remove the carbon tax, deport some immigrants and allow for plastic bags again but...

The agenda will keep moving forward. Conservative or liberal. Republican or Democrat.

Two steps forward, one back.

Two steps forward.

One back.

I don't want to be here anymore.

I can't stand what is happening.

And I know many feel like I do. But what can we do about it?

I wanted to move to Nicaragua. Strengthen my spiritual connection. Maybe work on a book. Help people. Find love.

Can't do that anymore.

Could have done it if I set my alarm that morning.

I'm tired of this God.

Please don't let my life be in vain.

There is no reason to go on. 

Deactivated

I've had enough. Enough days sitting alone in my car distracting myself all day long with podcasts, videos and articles trying to figure out the state of the reality we are in. 

I've had enough of all the horrible signs that are so clearly before us. Signs that I've long prepared for but failed at the most crucial of moments to realize my independence and spiritual progression.

Had enough of not being able to eat the foods I want. The water I want to drink. The place I want to live.

I've really had enough of praying and visualizing and hoping for things that do not appear to be coming.

Had enough of thinking of the past and how good it once was. How small decisions would have changed my life dramatically had I realized their importance in the time I was making them.

I have had enough of sitting on my mother's couch all day long to go and sit in my Jeep all night long.

Had enough of this city. Never wanted to be here in the first place. I knew it was going to drag me down.

I knew being with my mother would drag me down.

And being broke and applying for government handouts and dealing with a bankruptcy.

It's enough.

I've had enough.

I wish my dad would have loved me more. Enough to care about my progression through life and encourage and teach me things.

I wish my mother had not treated me like such a child most of my life. Constantly undermining faith in myself. Making me second-guess my own judgement which I now realize is more informed than hers ever was.

I wish both of them would have given me the support I truly needed. Prepared me for the world. Gave me the confidence I badly needed as someone born with a hearing disability.

Wish my mother was... 

I guess it doesn't matter what I wish for anymore.

Wish I could've hosted Karlee at my old place. Wish we could've drove to the NWT together and saw the Northern Lights. Wished I could have made her time her more memorable and fun than it was.

Wish God listened to me. Wish Jesus announced himself. 

Wish I hadn't grown into the man I am now. Wish I would've bought my own place in the early 2000s instead of being fearful about leaving my mother's home. Wish she would've encouraged me to get my own place. Wish my dad did too.

I wish for a lot of things. Wish for my independence back. Wish my life was different.

Staring at the constant engine light in my Jeep. Smoking cigarette after cigarette.

Eating foods that I don't want and haven't picked out for myself. Feeling sick sometimes after eating and having to run to the toilet to defecate it all out.

Wish I didn't live in a cruel world like this. Not knowing anyone who thinks like I do. Nobody cares about what I care about. Except for some people online.

Wish I was by a beach. Surrounded by happy people. Or at a secluded cabin, sitting by a warm roaring fire with the woman I love next to me sipping on glasses of wine.

Having deep conversations. Listening to music that we both love. Appreciating each other in silence and in between the sheets. Feeling that warmth passing between our chests.

I've failed in this life. I've succeeded in learning the right things at the wrong times.

When has prayer ever helped me? 

When has bargaining ever worked?

Why was it that when I decided to surrender my will to what I thought was God, bad things seemed to happen amidst the beautiful moments?

Why am I so lonely... 

And why am I no longer caring about anything? 

I guess I don't have much of a choice. 

I just remember how much love and passion was within me. How vibrant my energy was. How imaginative my mind worked. How much I cared about people. How much I felt like I was going to make an important difference to the world.

Just like I was told I would, by random strangers.

And by the songs of my soul.

A knowing that lead to arrogance because I was insecure about myself. Didn't fully believe in what I could do. Arrogant to hide the wound I was keeping from people. 

And bitter that the ones I showed my wounds to, liked me less for doing so.

Bitter that the women I didn't care about were ironically the ones that liked me the most.

And the ones that I liked the most, didn't care about me half as much as I did for them.

I'm bitter that I could see the bad things about to happen and prepared accordingly. Prayed every night. Did my best to trust my gut and intuition. Coming so close but falling short.

They say we have to learn to surrender. "Let go and let God".

That didn't work out well for me.

Despite how much faith I knew I had at the time. How hard I tried to surrender.

And... there is a... an intelligence out there. A force.

Something that is beautiful and loving and compassionate and vibrant and wise.

I've connected with it several times in my life.

Some of my happier moments was when I was by myself. On my solitary adventure.

I loved who I was.

The David that I cherished deeply.

The David that has been betrayed by forces unseen.

The David that should have kept himself grounded and balanced in his faith.

Not surrendering blindly to it.

This world never felt right to me. I've felt this since I was young without really putting into a concrete idea until I was in my early 30s I think.

Being born with a hearing disability, being an only child, being without parents that loved me.

Well...

Maybe my mother does love me but... her version of love is... does not match my own.

Love isn't staying with an abusive man for so many years. Kicking him out multiple times. A man that abused people emotionally and physically.

Why did my mother hate herself that much? Who would allow someone like that to be near her child?

I know why because she told me.

It was about money. She needed money.

Actually, she didn't need money.

She wanted it. 

So she sold herself for it. 

And...

Sighs.

It's a deep wound that I don't think will ever heal.

I loved people. Loved animals.

Loved music. Loved books.

Loved God.

Loved living.

Loved who I was.

And now.

I don't know what I love anymore other than Princess.

And Karlee, I guess. 

I've known there was a spiritual war happening since 2020 and...

It feels like I've lost the battle.

How can I possibly recover from any of all this damage caused to myself?

No wonder I feel like giving up. There's no light. No future that I can see other than the long-shot of winning a lottery jackpot.

And I know that if I won millions of dollars, I would flinch spending the money. I would feel... this mix of guilt and gratitude.

I know I would have a purpose. To better myself. To better others that are of like mind and are in need.

But...

It's been over a year of waiting for a miracle.

I didn't think I would have made it this far.

Being inside of a prison of flesh kept within a prison of a home inside of a prison city on a prison planet.

Terrorized by freaks and Satanists who are in Government, media, educational institutions. Banks.

Churches.

I saw the world falling apart and here I am. Falling apart with it.

Not a ray of light in the sky other than the promise of the Messiah's return.

One that I am not proud to say that I am of standing good enough to welcome him with a smile and love in my heart.

I want to make Him and the Father proud.

But.

Right now I can't.

Being inside these prisons.

Can't even choose to follow my intuition. Can't drive to where I want to go. 

Can't even appreciate the stars in a light polluted city sky because they are hidden from me.

Can't meet the sun each morning like I want to.

This hell I'm in.

Earth is hell. My aunt Sophie was right.

I wish I would've known sooner.

God... what are you? Who are you?

Where are you?

Where is your son?

Have we been lied to about that also? 

Should we defer to a higher authority? It hasn't worked out since covid appeared has it?

I reject this sick system.

It is no measure of good health to be adjusted to living in it.

Yet many do.

And many seem to not notice what is going on around them.

But it looks like the chaos is becoming more noticeable. Immigration continues in unprecedented numbers. Inflation continues to rise. Politicians continue to be corrupt.

Money continues to be printed until the financial systems collapse.

Then, the matter of what will happen next will not be decided by us.

But, by them.

Those who have created the problem will offer us the solution.

And I already know that I reject the solution.

I think I am prepared to die. I would rather endure to the end and enjoy my final days in peace and with love in my heart.

But it is so hard to feel any love right now.

I don't want to deal with this place any longer. I don't want to become a dependent slave.

Even if I could manage some traction forward, I still will have to live here with my mother. Under her watchful eye. Not having privacy. Not being able to sit and think without noise or distraction.

To just sit in a bath and read a book with candles and music.

I miss those times.

Pulling my shovel out to clean out the walkway. Getting out to rake the leaves. Talking with the neighbors. Going for walks. Cutting my lawn. Nurturing my garden.

I miss those days.

And I realize that I should have demanded better for myself instead of settling down with the wrong type of women. Should have held myself to a higher standard. Realized my worth early. 

And realized my role as a man in this life.

I guess I've learned a few things. A few things too late.

But at least I've learned them.

Should I die tomorrow, coming back to Earth is not going to be an option no matter what I'm told.

We've been lied to enough. Duality is not what we truly are. We are both light and dark.

I am a man with good intentions. One who has suffered. 

And I've sinned. 

But I'm still a good person.

I don't deserve any of this.

I don't know what to do.

Other than wait.

It's Going Downhill

 There is no worse feeling than seeing a building catch on fire, preparing yourself to evacuate and then being locked inside before anyone else realizes that there is a problem.

That is how I'm feeling now with the situation I am in. I saw it coming, prepared for it and now I have nothing while being locked inside of what I wanted to escape.

Everyday I look at what is going on online and it is not getting better. Illegal immigrants continue to ruin what were once iconic countries like Sweden and London, we are seeing massive inflation coming in from all of the mismanagement of money due to a fake pandemic and as I look more and more into what is happening it is becoming evident that western civilization is in a free fall collapse.

People are believing we are in the end times. There is much evidence to support this but it is conflicting to put together the pieces of the Bible because there is also evidence that the Bible was designed as a control system -- with the exception of the story of Yeshua.

I believe there was a man like him who was... tired and angry and... allowed into his heart a spirit that directed his steps. He attained enlightenment because of that and taught others to achieve the same.

The details after that is where it gets difficult to confirm. The miracles may have been added in to make him into more of a mythological hero but I do believe that he healed people and was able to cast out demons.

I believe he may have said what he said on the Sermon on the Mount but word for word? We can't confirm this. Either someone who witnessed the event had an incredible memory and was able to repeat it verbatim decades later, or it was reconstructed from bits and pieces. 

We don't know who wrote the book of Revelation either. John of Patmos? And his testimony suggested an elaborate dream in which the world "ends" with words he attributed to Yeshua. A DREAM. I think about that and I wonder. How could a dream be that detailed? Why was he chosen to give prophecy and why did the church include THIS book but not the book of Enoch?

In my heart I feel like we are being scammed. Revelation might be a blueprint. We are seeing events nowadays that appear like prophecy is being fulfilled but we forget that non-believers have access to this book as well. Do they not care for their soul as they engineer the chaos around us?

This a spiritual war, of that I am certain. What I am suspicious about is the root of all this. The Old Testament God was controlling and jealous and vengeful and angry. The New Testament version of the Father is not. If we disregard Judaism, the New Testament would be a good book to follow on it's own without the stories of a jealous God asking for animal sacrifices or claiming that Jews are his chosen people when evidence points to... well, the opposite.

Religion has been weaponized against us. We know this because of the 3 Abrahamic religions, only 1 version can be correct. If we include the 1000s of other religions out there, we reduce the probability of a factual account down to less than 1%.

Yet, Yeshua... Jesus... Yahusha,...

Stands tallest among any other character or historical person on the planet.  

But we look at the world and wonder where is he? Why won't he come?

And perhaps the answer is... that he was a man that harbored a spirit that is available for all of us to possess and demonstrate. It was never about one man saving the world. It's about all of us. Walking together in Christ consciousness.

When Yeshua said that "I and the Father are one" it mean he was attuned to the God-source. The holy spirit. He said that we are each sons and daughters of God and that if we put our faith out there, we can move mountains and do feats as great or greater than the ones he did.

It's a very empowering story and even if the character was made-up, it wouldn't take away from the importance of the archetype he presents himself as. A pattern, a blueprint for every man on the planet to follow.

But... my suspicions tell me that he must have sinned. He probably was not a virgin and he may have been married and/or have children. There is so much about him that has been left out. We only get the scraps off the dinner table.

And secret societies likely have a more complete picture of who he was. Including whatever is hidden i the library of the Vatican. The Qu'ran recognizes Yeshua as a prophet which is an important piece of corroborative evidence to include. Yet, they did not accept him as the Messiah and the Qu'ran places Mohammed as a prophet who was permitted to be a polygamist and marry a young child.

There is something not right in all of this. Why did Islam spring up at all if Jesus was such an influential person in those days? Why are there marked differences between each of the Abrahmic religions that depict a God with multiple faces? 

The only answer is that again, one of them is incorrect and again... perhaps it has been engineered to be this way.

Yet... for someone like myself who desperately wants to believe, I struggle at times with these books. I do not see a loving God advocate for murder in the Old Testament, I do not see a loving God allowing for his son to be murdered in the New Testament and I do not see a loving God allowing for a 50+ year old man to marry multiple wives in the Qu'Ran.

And... it hurts my soul trying to find what the truth is. Part of me thinks that we are all God, that our consciousness is connected to one another in a network that could be called "God" but...

If that was the case, then we are praying to the wrong thing. We do have a Creator and it is OURSELVES. We designed this realm. We created the creatures inhabiting it. If this is a simulation and we are up somewhere else controlling the physical avatar, then... we are the ones responsible and we should not be praying to a deity that doesn't exist. 

At the same time, I feel like a Creator does exist and... I wish I knew for sure. 

I read stories of miracles. Of a woman lifting a car off of a child that is trapped beneath is and I wonder if it wasn't just her that did that on her own or was it God that gave her the strength?

We have so much untapped potential within ourselves. I personally have experienced many odd things that point to this being a kind of simulation that can be altered and shifted around with our consciousness. Individually and collectively.

If enough people believe that the end times are here, then it theoretically should unfold as they imagine it to. Exactly like the book of Revelation.

Yet, there is... the possibility that a nefarious group of controlled actors who do not believe in religion are taking us all over while we sit about hoping and praying that a savior will arrive and save us.

Instead of taking action ourselves and realizing that God has always been here with us because he IS us.

Everyone is God. Everyone has a responsibility to preserve this creation and rid it of evil.

No, voting will not fix this issue. The cult has deeply imbedded itself at all levels. In religion, in corporations, in entertainment, in politics and medical institutions. 

We've already been taken over. We've already allowed for this to go too far.

At the same time, how could we be responsible? We trusted the media to report accurate news and for them to hold politicians accountable. Yet, there no longer is any accountability and all news organizations have been captured. 

Justice has been perverted as well as education.

If we had one problem to deal with, that would be simple to remedy if enough took it seriously.

Except we have multiple issues going on right now. We cannot fix the media because it is owned by corporations which are then funded by government who are owned by corporations and backed by the military and judicial system which all goes up to central banks and the private shareholders of places like the Federal Reserve.

We cannot fix our educational system because it is funded by the government which is... you get the idea... captured by other powers that are difficult if not impossible to unseat because they are not elected and they are nameless.

The only solution we have left is a miracle. A true and genuine miracle.

I imagine that the next presidential election will be where the pendulum swings from the left to the right. From liberal to conservative and people will rejoice. Thinking that the problem is solved.

It won't be. There are no political solutions for a rigged and captured system.

We may be given the appearance of a change and we may see mass deportations or lowering of taxes or whatever but ultimately, it is still corrupt. It will still be the beast system.

So...

This is an unfixable issue unless it all comes down and we rebuild from the ground up. Implementing the lessons we've learned to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Unfortunately... I don't know if we'll get that chance without a catastrophe happening.

What would stop all of the corruption and begin the healing process?

The arrival of Yeshua in the clouds? A single man or entity?

An upgrade in human consciousness that affects every man woman and child?

A move to a blockchain AI-managed model that corrects all the flaws of the political system and runs the entire world by itself? Organizing everything efficiently? Making all the right decisions without human involvement? Giving us all universal basis income?

None of those events is going to change anything will it? Will our children be able to buy themselves a home in any of those scenarios presented? 

Will all immigrants be deported? Will places like Ireland be restored to their former glory? Will housing prices in Australia magically drop and all debt is forgiven?

I don't know. What I do know is that even if those things happen, people are still going to have a hard time. Many are going to be homeless, many are going to take their own lives, many will struggle.

I want to say that I see a positive scenario but I am having trouble imagining one. The Nesara/Gesara angle sounds promising but will that happen? Could it happen?

And even if this happens, why would anyone... say a contractor, would want to work for wages again? Why not retire? Who will build homes? Who will clean washrooms? Who would ever want a cubicle job doing something that they hate?

Even if this happens and all debt is forgiven, I would still be here living with my mother. 

I would still question reality. Are the ones committing evil against us are going to be held accountable? Will they be tried for treason and put to death?

How would the corruption in the justice departments be mitigated? How would something like free energy devices be distributed? Think of the potential danger that free energy could cause in terms of weaponry or even economic damage as it puts multiple industries out of business?

There does not seem to be a solution to any of this. 

If there is one, I would say that AI has to run the show and develop a fair system on its own but we know how reliable computers and algorithms are. I have little faith in a system that can only think in binary terms.

What would religion look like in the future? Will it even exist? Dismissed away as unnecessary and barbaric? Possibly a threat to human unity?

I see a collapse coming and I do not see a safety net. If they crash the financial system and we all are absolved of debt and CBDCs are implemented that track every one of our purchases; we will then be in a different kind of trouble.

We would give away the last of our freedom for security. We would give away all of our power to AI or the "powers that be" who are pulling the strings behind everything going on. Including the AI system itself.

I think we are done as a race. I don't want to say this with certainty but I do not think we should move into a future where we give away the last of our freedom in exchange for whatever utopia is presented to us.

How can someone live off of the land, off-grid, grow their own food and NOT have to pay taxes or anything to the government? Assuming they can even afford to buy that land, the equipment needed and secure their independence.

The natural way for us to be is in tribal cultures. Forget diversity. Groups of like-minded individuals in small numbers that look after one another.

We cannot survive if we are divided. By race, by religion, by gender, by economics.

Revelation says an end will come to all this. An END. Not a new beginning. At least not on planet Earth.

Somewhere else will be a new beginning.

Then again... We cannot allow evil to win this and yet it looks like they are winning.

Sort of.

As many of us can live in truth and the numbers are on our side, politics continue to operate as it does. With corrupt/pre-selected politicians who are backed by lobbyists with deep pockets working for corporations that are owned by one or two entities that are then owned by central banks who are owned by private shareholders that nobody knows about.

If a bright young idealistic individual wishes to change the world through politics, they will become a target. Assuming they can even win the position they are campaigning for. In a rigged system.

We saw what happened to Kari Lake and Trump and Bolsonaro.

We know the power that the media wields. And corporations. And banks.

A system that is designed to favor technocratic rich bastards is unlikely to reform itself no matter who gets into office.

Upon the return of Christ it is said that every knee shall bow.

But...

There will be disbelievers. How will any version of Christ persuade them? 

We saw what they did to him last time he was here.

We know there were disbelievers. High priests were threatened by him and... had him killed.

The only thing I can think of is that his power has to be undeniable. It has to come through the television and laptop screens. It has to be able to get by censorship and suppression.

It has to be experienced by the world, not just a small group of people.

If Jesus returns from the clouds he would have to land somewhere prominent. Times Square New York. Perform undeniable miracles. Be bulletproof. 

One would only have to look into his eyes to know the truth of who he is.

Which is why I struggle with this idea. 

And the tribulation makes sense. Which we haven't gone through yet and perhaps are already in.

But at the end of tribulation... many will be killed in his name.

Who then would be left?

And why would they want to continue living in such a goddless world?

And I said to him, “Sir, you are the one who knows.” Then he said to me, “These are the ones who died in the great tribulation. They have washed their robes in the blood of the Lamb and made them white. - Revelation 7:14

I cried earlier today at the park sitting in my Jeep. I thought about some of this. I have love for certain people that I follow on YouTube and Twitter but...

So many of us are screwed. So many are homeless and the number keeps growing.

The immigrants keep coming.

The senseless wars keep continuing.

The politicians are still corrupted and controlled.

And I still live with my mother. I cried asking the Father for help. 

I need to leave this place.

I want my last days to have some happiness in them.

I cannot find happiness here.

I still dream of the reality I wish to manifest. All the things I need want and desire.

But at some point... I may have to swallow the bitter pill.

And accept that I have been betrayed by that which I have prayed towards for most of the nights of my life since I was six years old.

Perhaps I had the wrong idea all along about what I believed in.

I don't want to accept that.

I want love in my life. Truth in my soul. Compassion and beauty in my heart. Justice being served and upheld and prosperity for myself and others.

I want those things. I desire those things. I NEED those things.

They are non-negotiable.

Please Yahuah.

Please come.

Save us from all this. 

Death is not the end.