I am sitting on my couch, listening to the whir of the refrigerator as well as the constant humming and throbbing of my neighbor's central air fan that is pointed at the side of my house and I am...
Weeping for myself and the world.
I'm going to go bankrupt. The house I live in belongs to my mother and she does not want to price it at a level where it could sell quickly. Similar duplexes in the area have been on the market for more than 2 months. The realtor is coming by Tuesday morning to take photographs and I am stressed.
I am so fucking stressed.
And I have no one to talk to. Not a soul.
Not one person anywhere in the world.
Except for God.
And lately it feels that God has not been listening.
At the park earlier today as I escaped the constant cleaning and rearranging of furniture and... deciding what items I need to donate and what items to keep and... my mind just... paused at one point while I was sitting on a bench looking at the North Saskatchewan river flowing by.
I tried to release my thoughts from worry, to get off my phone from which I spend most of the day either reading depressing news or listening to podcasts that discuss depressing news but...
It's so hard sometimes. Especially when I remember the world before 2020.
My childhood was memorable but... the things that I loved about it all seem to have gone away.
The cartoons, the movies, the music, the books, the television shows... What is being produced right now is nothing like it was. Nothing really inspires, teaches or presents itself with good and moral intentions. Sesame Street has Elmo pushing for little kids to get jabbed by a medical concoction that has been hurting and killing people all around the world. Many movies are dark, includes graphic sex and horrific scenes of violence and dehumanization. Popular music grinds down the soul by promoting money, drugs, sex and hedonism in subtle ways -- normalizing degradation of women and men, bringing humanity down to the level of a primitive beast.
These are the end times. The population is deliberately being reduced. While I could not believe that this was happening in the last year of 2021 and thought that humanity would find a way to "defeat" those that are responsible for all this, I am now believing that the resurgence of Nazi Germany is being deployed upon us on a global scale.
Everyone who did not get the vaccine is a "Jew" with the only difference being is that we don't have to wear yellow stars to signify and publicly display our religious beliefs. We now have smartphones with centralized health data that already knows who is and who isn't vaccinated. Who does and who does not support the covid lie that has been perpetuated on us.
World War 3 is now here and sometimes it is surreal enough for me to feel like I am watching a movie, not really participating in what is going on.
But as I sat there on the park bench listening to the crows squawk nearby, I realized that participation makes no difference. I am affected nonetheless just like many others will soon be if they are not already.
Only the Amish and those with resources enough to be able to live in the country in a self-sufficent way off-grid are able to insulate themselves from the takeover of the human race.
One of my considerations in the last year was deciding on a place to build a new life with and Cuba emerged as an immediate thought. As ludicrous as it sounds now, I thought that a third world country was vastly preferable to the tyranny being inflicted upon us in Canada.
A few days ago I watched a video and it seems that Cubans are experiencing a country-wide blackout of power and electricity.
I thought about Nicaragua, Mexico, Poland... they all have their own unique set of challenges. I do not know enough Spanish or Polish to be able to function in a new country and should I be travelling by myself, it would be made ever the more harder to deal with to the point that I don't think a decision like this would end well. I likely would be robbed or taken advantage of and the new life I hoped for would not include a happy ending being a foreigner in a strange land.
It doesn't matter how much money I have or where I would go, every place is affected by this or soon will be.
Riots are occurring in Sri Lanka, Italy, the Netherlands, Ecuador, parts of Africa and with inflation growing worse and worse, the European Union, Canada, USA and other countries are unlikely to be spared the effect of this global extermination of the human race and the control centralized powers wish to exert over us.
I take it back, if I did have unlimited funds, I would move out into the bush and set up a homestead but... let's be honest, I wouldn't enjoy my time there alone. I would lose my mind.
People need people to be around with. To laugh and cry and make love to and have babies and grow spiritually, professionally, emotionally...
We are a social creature and cannot hope to isolate ourselves without experiencing a strain on our mental health. There would be no reason to live, nothing to hope for, should a single man like myself move into the woods and ignore the world for however long he can.
I am so alone. No one to talk to about any of this. My mother and I can only engage on a shallow and narrow spectrum of discussion because she refuses to see what I see. To hear my concerns and address them with any kind of insight that offers actionable value because... she does not have all the information that I have. She does not see what is happening and refuses to believe that it is.
When I told her that I might not be able to ever work due to needing a vaccination, her response was:
"Well then you'll have to get vaccinated!"
My God... those wicked people in power. Planning this for years. I don't think it is even Klaus Schwab and the WEF who is behind all this, no, that group is a front for more powerful influences that value anonymity and pull the strings of politicians the world over using money as bait and coercion as threat.
I cannot see a way for us out of this. Once digitial IDs and rationing happens, all in the name of "science" and "climate change", we are done. Finished. There will not even be a way to purchase fuel for our vehicles should our digital ID/passport/social credit denies us the right to do so for whatever reason of non-compliance or resistance that we offer.
Such dark times we are in. It is so hard to find hope in a world like this. It would take an unexpected miracle to pull off.
And perhaps that is what we are to expect next.
But, as with everything else, even a miracle can be manipulated should the mainstream media decide not to report upon it.
How would we know, if Canadians will have their internet soon restricted and controlled by the passing of Bill C-11 that anything in the world reported upon is true? A miracle would have to escape the control mechanism that has infiltrated all of our institutions, government bodies and...
I could go on and on about how hopeless it looks. What happens if we cannot get the truth? If the internet is restricted or censored? If a nuclear bomb went off in New York and the powers that be decide against it being reported, would we ever get to know?
If a resistance movement is successful in a certain part of the world, will we get to know?
If a terrible crime is committed or the rate of suicide dramatically increases, will we be given the facts? Can we trust the numbers presented to us as truth? Do the powers that be have ability and capability to be able to shut out this kind of information?
It seems like they do. Twitter, Facebook, Reddit... there are no safe havens online for men like me to freely converse upon without the feeling that all of my words are being recorded and scrutinized for key triggers that will prompt a human review, which will then label me in a certain way so that I may never be able to get employment, a house, a girlfriend, medical assistance, a rental property, food and so on.
If everything goes digital, we are DONE.
And it is the direction we are headed towards. Total surveillance through our smart phones and total control by artificial intelligence and algorithms.
There will come a time when we may not be able to investigate the truth for ourselves and instead are expected to accept a narrative and explanation provided for us by unelected figures of "authority".
Such darkness. Such madness and evil on this planet.
I have been reading up on all of this for over two years. Spending hours each day looking at the screen in my hands, realizing that any kind of dependency is a means of control and we are all being controlled whether we like it or not.
Not a single one of us can manufacture a car from scratch. Not a single one of us can refine and produce fuel outside of government control and regulation.
And if that becomes controlled and payment is in digital dollars which can be tracked and allocated only to those who obey the "rules"; this then means no heat, no travel, no power.
No living.
Unless we are given permission to do any of the things we desire to do.
This is... the greatest evil perpetuated upon humanity since the beginning of our existence.
And... there is much that I felt guilty and shameful about as I sat on the park bench. The way I lived and loved was not how I wanted it to be.
All those years of my life being enamored by technology, by media... books and songs and stories...
It's all coming down like the towers on 9/11.
And the majority of people do not appear to have critical thought enough to realize that something doesn't smell right or the foresight to see where this is all going.
Not only is humanity being threatened, coerced and controlled by deviant psychopaths who want to erase our cultural, national and gender identities, but many of us have unwittingly assisted these monsters in building the prison walls that are forming around our souls.
Because let's face it, most everything is controlled by technology these days and when technology restricts or bans certain undesirables from using it; it wields the power of life and death. Over our means to get a job, to pursue a meaningful career, to find a lover, a spouse, to have children and raise them to feel optimistic and excited about the future... It's all connected to technology at some level and such technology is being controlled in the hands of a very tiny few.
I weep for this world, as I stuff a handful of chocolate almonds into my mouth, knowing well that these candies may no longer exist at a certain time in the future or become prohibitively expensive to buy.
All I can do is let the numbness take over and try not to deny myself some of the things that I enjoy consuming.
There is no future for us here. Even the most obedient among us will revolt at some point, realizing that such a system of control is unnatural and avenues to realize one's happiness will come at a hefty price.
There are 36 "smart" cities planned by the World Economic Forum and the only one in Canada will be Toronto.
The rest of this country will be taken to their knees. By way of vaccine injuries, civil war, poverty, homelessness or all and many combinations of the above.
I feel so tired writing about all this. There is no hope for us.
No hope but a miracle.
Please God, should you be good and merciful.
Hear the cries among us who knows the truth.
We must be delivered from this evil.
We must.
For then there shall be no reason or way for us to live.
There will be no hope.
Humanity will be finished.
I feel like this is the last "normal" summer of our lives.
I...
...I
I have no words left in these fingers of mine.
My eyes are tired, my heart weary, my mind blank.
...
and still.. I know I went through this life with the best of intentions.
Even if I didn't accomplish much.
I am grateful for the good times that I had.
But I hate how we've all become.
I loathe those who refuse to think, to question, to examine.
Those that do not desire truth will be fed a dish of lies.
Until they realize themselves of an empty stomach, hungry once more.
For something better.
...
I am tired.
I feel soulless.
Heavy.
I don't know how to conclude this post.
It is dark outside. Cloudy skies. Noisy traffic going by.
It is what it is.
