wake-up call, the threequel?

Oh wow. Today I had a big surprise waiting for me at work. I was one of the lucky guys, well, technically the only lucky guy; who spent the day in laydown. Now, this is pretty much what passes for a demotion at my job. You can't get any lower than being a scrub handling orders for material, but whatevahs, I still get paid the same and besides there wasn't much else to do anyways.

But, the shock came to me when Chris and I were looking over the order sheets, the first item on the very top was...

15x3. The size that I thought didn't exist. The size that I freakin' dreamed about just three days ago.

I mean.. holy shit. This isn't the first example of syncronicity, as I've posted before regarding the married friend of mine. But wow.. WOW. After I saw that, I had to tell Chris about my dream and he laughed his ass off. It was such a bizarre coincidence that I can't figure out what to make of it.

So there you have it. Dreams can be prophetic. Even in small, absurd, inconsequential ways.

15x3. Sheesh. It does exist.

wake-up call redux

It’s 2:39am and after falling asleep an hour ago, I woke to a message.

In my dreams, there was a young woman -- perhaps 16, holding a disfigured, bawling baby. The lady seemed confused about what to do with the child and I felt a sense of concern for it’s well-being and suspected abuse.

Then, the child .. changes, the more I interact with it. It ages and matures into a being I can intelligently talk to. This would have been a miracle, had the “baby” not described what happened. That she “willed” herself to assume her present form. As I, and the young mother express our disbeliefs, it later becomes known that this child is special and has the ability to “will” change. The room was littered with toys (mostly from the 80s) that appeared out of thin-air; created by her imagination.

She asked me to look into her eyes, and I was mesmerized by their shifting colours and shapes. After about a minute of this, I was then asked to look into a mirror -- for what purpose, I could not ascertain. But there was something important about my doing so and I had the sense that I was being tested. The child reacted with surprise while I was staring at myself. She excitedly jabbered something to her mother about my being special (if I’m recalling correctly), or “the one”. Something along those lines.

The parallel’s between this and Lauren, are painfully obvious. Though the mother in question did not resemble my ex at all.

Another fragment I’m remembering had to do with my being underground and able to exit through a drainage ditch to the world outside. There, I’m confronted by piping of the sort that I insulate on a daily basis. Before me lay a grassy, serene world with these pipes blighting the horizon and I remember thinking, “was this worth it?” or maybe, “I did it all for this?”. There was some resentment about those pipes (my job insulating) that I don’t remember enough of the details.

As I’m standing here, looking at these pipes; small parachutes drop from the sky. They are each attached to palm-sized bombs that resembled miniature imitations of Fat Man -- the infamous nuclear bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima. I watched each of those small parachutes land to the ground and seemingly become absorbed by it. They did not detonate and I was able to hold one momentarily as I caught it from the sky. They were all spaced apart at distances no less than 15 feet and so, there were thousands of these landing as far as I could see.

While I’m left wondering why they weren’t detonating, I became aware of something happening. A fire in the distant horizon, and it appeared to be coming towards me at an alarming rate. Perhaps these bombs each detonated with a delay and I had the queer suspicion that this was the end of the world I was witnessing.

I quickly ran to the drain tunnel and made my way back underground. Here, things were well-lit and I was soon met by a stranger whom I asked “are you security?” and he responded with a laugh, saying no. He wasn’t. Soon after, a man approached and asked my name. I then was escorted to an office and saw “David” being scratched off of a notepad once my identity was confirmed.

Intrigued at this, I fished around for clues as to who was looking for me and what happened. It appears that the outside world had no interest to these folks, and being underground had it’s own group of people living a sheltered life. However, the man would not offer me any other information except that there was some “15x3” (a size that doesn’t exist at my job) that needed to be done someplace. Apparently, I was an employee and was expected to insulate.

Then.. I woke up, letting the thoughts sink in and anchoring these fragments into my immediate awareness so I could type them onto my laptop before I forget what I dreamed about.

It just seemed important that I write all this down. The first part of the dream really did feel like a reference to Lauren and her daughter Sophia and I feel that maybe -- it’s either wish-fulfilment/prophecy/remote communication or an imaginative commentary on my present situation -- I was expected or would have been, a good father/mentor figure for this child. I was spurred briefly to re-establish communication with Lauren in an almost mild panic.. that’s how convincing this metaphor / parallel was.

The 2nd part of the dream, I’m guessing to mean that the world will come to an end should I continue with what I do for a living. Perhaps “the world” is more “my world” or my life. In that context, it makes much more sense. And the underground part of it is safe haven from the end? I don’t think so, because as I was looking at the pipe in the dream -- I remember feeling sad that insulating somehow caused it to happen. That I ended “my” or “the” world. Maybe it alludes to a perceived destruction of self potential.

Perhaps it all served as a warning.

It’s interesting to think about. Back to sleep I go.

no fate but what we make

Today for the first time ever, I consulted with a spiritual intermediary. A person chanelling wisdom from realms uncharted by man.

Yes, I am speaking of a psychic. Not just any psychic, but a FLEA MARKET psychic. Those ones are particularly sensitive to the vibirational frequency of chakras mingling about looking at items that even Value Village would balk at putting up for sale.

It all started with me carrying a nice, warm cup of coffee past a stall with newspaper articles pasted all around it. As I glanced about, noticing it was empty -- I took a look at some of the headlines. Psychic helps Crimestoppers, psychic fire-walks and as I was perusing one in particular about Egypt, a lady came from behind and said, "You should try her. She's good."

Now, it took me a few seconds to register that this was the psychic. Psychic Ana to be exact, who engaged me immediately by rattling off her credentials. Over 30 years experience, success at predicting a lottery winner, helped solve crime, judges/lawyers lined up to see her, etc. etc.

I tried taking all this with a grain of salt, but realized that a grain wouldn't be enough. I'd need the whole damned shaker to swallow down some of the testimonials she was giving me.

But, I was bored and she seemed intriguing so I sat down for a session. Twenty-five bucks. At first I considered pulling the old "I only have 20, is that okay?" trick of negotiating at a flea market; but thought against it.

As I sat across from her, expecting a crystal ball or tarot cards, I was surprised to see runestones dropped on the table. First time I've seen anyone use those.

As Psychic Ana surveyed the blocks, I held onto my poker face, betraying no emotion so that I could better nullify any cold readings that she may be compelled to give. The first thing that came out, was that she sensed insecurity within me. And that whenever I manage to get past that, I "shine". This is something I can agree with, I'm selectively social and I think this might apply to any introvert. Not a bad assessment, but nothing revelatory.

Next up, she asked me what I did for a living. My immediate thought was, "shouldn't you know that already" but sadly, it slipped through my mouth anyways. Good thing it was delivered with a smile and a quick answer before she could feel insulted by my skepticism.

Once I told her I was in construction, she then asked what I'm passionate about. Again, wouldn't a psychic have some guesses about that? So, I paused briefly and pretended like I had a casual interest in writing. Hell if I was going to let my eyes light up and say, "I lovvvvveeee to write! I'm writing a book!" she'd probably tell me I was going to be the next Stephen King.

Flipping the stones around, she looked up at me with a smile and said that in two years I'd become very successful with writing as a career. I expressed immediate doubt about that, though I badly desire to be successful with getting a book published -- so I nodded attentively, pretending that I've only a marginal interest in the idea.

This was around where she raised her finger in the air and traced out a line from left to right, saying that she sensed me to be on the same "level" as Stephen King. I almost blurted out laughing, but politely responded with a restrained look of amusement.

"He's had quite a career. Over fifty books." I answered.

She again traced that line out in the air and said, "I don't know anything about Stephen King, I've never read his books, but I sense you are on the same level as Stephen King."

This was interesting to me, because while I do admire SK's style of writing; I can't say that the horror genre is what I'm most interested in exploring with my work. Had she mentioned a more obscure author, I may have been inclined to consider the comparison, but Stephen King? Come on. At least she didn't say Proust, or Hemingway.

Next up was the relationship portion, which to me is the most important. I deeply desire to find the right person to spend the rest of my life with and at one point, several weeks ago -- I considered putting my writing on hold in order to focus on the search. So, my ears perked up at this moment.

She then asked, "are you in a relationship right now?" and I'm like.. what the hell.. shouldn't she know this? But I responded that yes I was involved with someone whom I met last weekend (Ashley). She then said, "I really like this girl".

Immediately after those words, I felt it was all b.s. I don't think Ashley and I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting into anything long-term. She is far from my type and I am none too happy about playing the father figure to someone much younger than I am. As friends, sure, we might work out -- but lovers? husband and wife? Heck no.

I couldn't resist pointing all this out. Saying that I wanted someone on equal terms who can challenge and bring out the best of me. Someone that I wouldn't have to mentor, or coddle. Someone inspiring. Affectionate. Loving. Complementary.

Of course, this rattled Psychic Ana a little and she reiterated saying, "well, I kinda like this girl" .. the "kinda" pretty much did her in at that point. I wonder what would have happened had I told her I was a flaming homosexual and hated women. I'd loved to see her reaction.

Then she said I would be married within five years with a child. "I see you with a ring on your finger and a child." To which I admit, is a realistic enough prediction given that there's five years ahead of me.

The Q&A came after that. I asked where should I start with my book, and while she didn't tell me anything specific enough to work off of -- she did mention that I am at my best when I lose myself in my work. Hmmph. Okay.

When I said I wanted to prioritize a relationship over writing, she immediately said for me to focus on writing instead. Forget the relationship. That kind of sucked but maybe she has a point. Being focused on a relationship diverts energy that could be used on writing, and perhaps I need to adopt a more casual attitude towards dating instead of checking messages on three different dating websites every ten minutes :P

So, ultimately it came down to "good things will happen in two years with your writing. stay focused on that. you'll be married with a child within five and you're comparable to Stephen King."

She also predicted a big move in the next couple of years. Again, it's a good possibility.

As I handed over a fifty, feeling uncomfortable and slightly cheated -- she placed a hundred dollar bill in front of me. Huh. That's some change. I pointed it out and she quickly apologized. Oh well.

My dear readers, mark this date. Two years until the book and five for marriage. Ana made me promise to see her once I get the book published and give her an autographed copy.

If that doesn't pan out, I'll be sure to visit her anyways and ask if my hand smells like chloroform.

Thank you Psychic Ana. I hope you're right about all this. Or some of it anyways.

wake up call

It's strange how dreams work sometimes. There has been instances of premonition, wish fulfilment fantasies and subconscious mirroring of one's psyche through this medium.

But, can dreams also serve as a telepathic link between two people?

A few weeks ago, I had awakened with an especially vivid one. It involved a female friend of mine who is married and in it, we were shopping together at some giant megastore that appeared to have everything. The primary objective was for me to have her try "awesome" deep dish pizza that this place supposedly sells. In the dream, I was completely nude and told curious passerby that somebody stole my clothes, "don't worry about it" I reassured them. Later on, we ended up having a surprise dinner party together involving some of my relatives and her husband also was there -- holding a ring with a brush on the end of it with the implication that he used it to groom his pubes.

Weird, huh? What gets even weirder is that I haven't seen this married friend of mine in a couple of years -- there continues to exist, some bad blood between her husband and I. But when I woke up with this dream fresh in my mind -- it felt like I had to contact her for some reason. Something was nagging me and I thought maybe, it was her birthday?

So, I wrote her an email for the first time in half a year, and behold! She did indeed have her birthday a few days ago. And what's even stranger, is that she had a dream about me last night also, which she didn't want to go into details about.

At the end of her email, she then said she had to go eat some leftover pizza. Was it deep-dish? I hadn't asked about that :P

Given the circumstances of how infrequently we talk to each other and how we both suddenly had a dream involving the two of us; I was curious to know if there can exist a connection between people while they sleep. Maybe dreaming is like an open playground for one's mind to invite others to participate in? I don't think it's entirely a far fetched idea.

The reason I am inspired to write this post today, is that I had another dream last evening. In it, this friend of mine struck up a conversation about wanting to do things on her own, such as going on a trip someplace. This was taking place on my bed, we were both fully clothed and she had a tight, white v-neck shirt on. Then she crouches towards me and mentions wanting to get breast implants. I'm keeping this calm, unaffected demeanour and indicated her chest with a nod of my chin.

"what's wrong with those?"

Then she sidles her face closer to me, whispering all the while and our lips meet. We kiss, no tongue and that's when I woke up.

I'm like FUUUUUUU!!! It was a powerful moment but it also felt like a very defining one for me to have. Because, I had the sense of holding back. She was married after all -- and there was a sneaking suspicion, that perhaps on some "telepathic" level, that she wanted us to have sex through this dream.

Which I refused, on the grounds that she is married. I wouldn't allow her to even subconsciously cheat on her husband, as lame as that sounds.

So now, with these two revelations out of the way -- I'm considering the idea of sending her an email asking if she dreamed of anything last night. There's a chance she's already forgotten whatever it was, and there's a chance that my telepathy theory is incorrect.

But there's also a chance, that she dreamed of me and that is something I'm keenly interested in finding out.

Except.. sending her an email like that, is probably going to have her question my sanity if I'm off the mark with it. Well, *makes swishing sound* off it goes, regardless.

I've got a date with a gal named Ashley tonight for us to watch Insidious. Hopefully that goes better than it did with Deanna last weekend -- while we had chemistry, she was way too mature for my tastes. Ashley is ten years younger than her.

The search continues.