free as a bird

Eighteen freakin days. Thats how many days in a row I worked non-stop, in a small camp an hour north of Fort McMurray. And I gotta say its certainly given me pause for thought about the long-term aspect of it all. I can score myself nearly three months worth of rent by just working a seven-day week, which I think is a pretty damn good deal. I basically give up my body and mind for eighteen days to be used as the bitch puppet of a multinational corporation bent on supplying the unwashed masses with the liquefied, processed remains of ancient dinosaur bones. It all seems laughable in concept to me that we have yet to progress beyond a means of fuel that doesn't involve biological byproducts, but I digress.

I definitely do feel like Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption. I was almost tempted to apply for a job as bag boy at the local Sobeys, but then I realized that I already had a job, and I was just given a weekend pass instead. The only aspect of my job that is dissimilar to prison would be the lack of conjugal visits, I'm still waiting on a hot broad to spend a couple hours helping me thoroughly empty out the sausage pouch. And the small camp room, god, I think its actually smaller than a real prison cell. At least the toilet isn't in the middle of the room and it actually has a seat.

So I work with a lot of strange people (myself included) and there is much exposure to a wide variety of personalities and stereotypes that most people only see on their television sets. For instance, we've got the aging hippy who's fried his brains out on acid, got abducted by aliens and pees on the toilet seat (so his bathroom buddy says). The guy also has been a first-year apprentice for... over ten years. Apparently the many times he's been to school has resulted in him failing the course and thus, never advancing beyond the mere designation of a lowly first-year apprentice worker. Yes, Peter brings me much amusement and amazement at how such people can freely walk the Earth.

Aside from the joys of interacting with former Hells Angels members, barely-literate foreign workers, disillusioned grumpy old men and wife beaters my job has given me plenty to be thankful for. Okay.. wait I'm thinking.. I guess I'd have to say the money is damn fine, especially now that I've gotten a raise after kissing enough ass. The job also has given me back the appreciation of my free time. Coming home from work gives me about three to four hours to shave, shower, eat, watch a movie and take a massive shit. I then get up the next day at 6am and dedicate thirteen hours to the 'man' before I head back to do it all again, for eighteen straight days. Yeah, this is the life.

Sadly I must announce that HiBerNaTiON 06 will not be on schedule as planned. In the unplanned event of a massive labor shortage, I was unable to secure myself the expected pink slip as anticipated. I do however, concede that perhaps its for the best. I've been constantly avoiding the stress of working for so long, and not making much headway into personal progress that maybe the best solution is to just throw myself into it and grit my teeth. There are guys making over 100,000k/yr where I am, and I think its just downright retarded to pass up that kind of green just so I can stay at home and spooge all over the Xbox 360.

Hrmm.. well thats how its going lately, building up my empire piece by piece with bleeding hands and its something that has to be done. I apologize for the somber tone, as there really isn't much to get excited about, except of course, this:



Endorsed by Chuck Norris and a very hot Christy Brinkly, I now take a small step towards the complete enslavement of all humankind. The Total Gym(tm) is the means by which I will cause entire nations to tremble in fear at my ungodly pecs, yes, you know this is coming.

Prepare.