It continues on. The world is crumbling, banks are failing, interest rates are rising, inflation is ongoing.
Protests in France, Israel, Germany...
About a month ago there was all this drama about "Chinese spy balloons" with the Canadian military then saying that they shot down a "UFO" but decided against following up on it. The Pentagon saying that an "alien mothership" could be in our atmosphere makes this all the more absurd.
Get me off this stupid carousel of insanity already.
It's all going down the drain and so many are none the wiser.
About a month and a half ago I've reached the point of having little to no interest in living in this world. There's no future here. The veil has been ripped off and the wizard behind the curtain is sitting there smirking while he continues pulling his levers.
There was something that happened, though. I now have a reason to hang on. A few more months will be when someone special will arrive to see me.
I'm not going to get into details but... It's all I have going for myself at the moment.
Not a job, not a career, no home, no independence.
Nothing but this one person is all I care about and looking forward to welcoming.
Each day is more or less the same. I get up late, close to the afternoon, take care of basic things and then head out to sit in my car for hours on end. Looking at my phone. Reading a book. Listening to music. Staring out the window and thinking.
Yesterday we had a lot of trails left by planes flying overhead. Waking up to a gorgeously blue sky turned into this ugly overcast afternoon once the trails spread out.
Tired of this merry-go-around.
How people can walk around in this reality and not be affected is beyond me.
The roads are getting worse. Potholes all over the place.
I know its not just where I live but in many other cities and countries.
All that money-printing and we still can't keep our basic infrastructure in good shape. Can't help the homeless either. Food banks have long lines to them now as more people lose their jobs and aren't able to pay their bills.
I watched a video yesterday of a fellow in the States who is digging a little home for himself out in the middle of the woods. It was small and modest, maybe 20ft x 20ft. Had a little area for him to sleep in, start a campfire and cook his meals. Not much else.
I was impressed at his resourcefulness and simultaneously saddened by the state of affairs in the world today that necessitated him to have to construct such a shelter.
Because he can hardly afford to live anyplace else.
It's sad. The way everything else and unlikely to get much better.
My heart... is numb these days. I don't even care much to keep up with the news like I used to. What's the point? Nothing but negativity and bad things coming in each and every day. Corruption, treason, shootings, financial collapses... And to top it off, it's all coming from media companies that report only what they want us to see. Real investigative journalists who expose lies and corruption and holds politicians to account are a rare and dying breed.
The world is changing like it or not. The values we used to uphold as a global collective are no longer in the forefront of our psyches and the directives of corporations and media.
Honesty. Compassion. Love. Trust. Justice. Accountability.
... I don't see where these values are reflected in the paradigm we are in.
It's tiring...
I just want to go home.
But, I at least have a few months to go before she arrives.
And go from there.
One day at a time.
One foot in front of another.
Forward and back.
