balls.
that is all.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
hibernation
finally got the layoff I've been waiting eight months for, yay! I'm freed from the machinations of big oil and its soul-crushing ilk. I can't express fully enough how it feels like I've been in prision for years and I'm released back into the wild. I mean you get the small cubicle thats supposed to be your room, you wake up and go to sleep at or near the same time each day, you see the same people more times than you see your own family/friends, you eat at a cafeteria with trays, and the smell and noise of the place becomes as natural to you as the whir of the furnance in your home.
I mean it just sucked.
Its a sad thing for me to see some random old guy at work pushing around a wheelbarrow, or sweeping up an area. I mean do these guys live meaningful lives? Do they enjoy what they do? How did they manage to survive this long doing manual labor? I ask questions like that constantly, and it really comes down to whoring your body and mind for money. It gives me new found respect for prostitutes, in that you do something unpleasant and CA-CHING! money in the bank. Are construction workers really that different? We don't get asked if we want it up the ass, or if we do group discounts, but we do whore ourselves out for profit. I truly do envy those that get up each morning with a smile and say "fuck, I can't WAIT to get to work today!". I had that feeling once before with my job as a hydrotester before the place got shutdown. It just felt like playing a videogame all day.
Still, just complaining about my job and work enviroment seems almost pointless. I'm lucky to have a job where I can work eight months out of the year and still make 40k. Or having a job where I'm shuffled from place to place, and meeting new people. A job where I can choose to either do next to nothing the entire day, or work my ass off if I so desire with few repercussions. In light of these perks, I guess my job isn't really that bad. But it feels like a last resort, a job that I do because I have no other options. I only have myself to blame for not looking at other possibilities out there.
Someday, my true destiny as a lifeguard on a nudist beach will assert itself.
So thats that. I've got a few 360 games to go through, books to read, stuff to pack and dozens of other little things to do that should keep me occupied during the unemployment stretch. And not to mention, spending some of that phat cash I earned.
Once again.
oh yeahhh
I mean it just sucked.
Its a sad thing for me to see some random old guy at work pushing around a wheelbarrow, or sweeping up an area. I mean do these guys live meaningful lives? Do they enjoy what they do? How did they manage to survive this long doing manual labor? I ask questions like that constantly, and it really comes down to whoring your body and mind for money. It gives me new found respect for prostitutes, in that you do something unpleasant and CA-CHING! money in the bank. Are construction workers really that different? We don't get asked if we want it up the ass, or if we do group discounts, but we do whore ourselves out for profit. I truly do envy those that get up each morning with a smile and say "fuck, I can't WAIT to get to work today!". I had that feeling once before with my job as a hydrotester before the place got shutdown. It just felt like playing a videogame all day.
Still, just complaining about my job and work enviroment seems almost pointless. I'm lucky to have a job where I can work eight months out of the year and still make 40k. Or having a job where I'm shuffled from place to place, and meeting new people. A job where I can choose to either do next to nothing the entire day, or work my ass off if I so desire with few repercussions. In light of these perks, I guess my job isn't really that bad. But it feels like a last resort, a job that I do because I have no other options. I only have myself to blame for not looking at other possibilities out there.
Someday, my true destiny as a lifeguard on a nudist beach will assert itself.
So thats that. I've got a few 360 games to go through, books to read, stuff to pack and dozens of other little things to do that should keep me occupied during the unemployment stretch. And not to mention, spending some of that phat cash I earned.
Once again.
oh yeahhh
Saturday, April 08, 2006
rising from the ashes
argh.. one more week of work left to go and then its time to sip pina coladas off my balcony for a month or two. Eight months of working out of town, in isolation, eleven days on, three (actually two) days off is finally coming to an end.
I must say, what the fuck?
I've never even heard of Nacho Libre but thats the coolest fucking idea ever. My gringo ass will be most pleased.
Anyone read up on Scientology? Thanks to Tom Cruise going apeshit on Oprah a while back, Scientology is in the spotlight after a long hiatus and it ain't pretty. I was first exposed to Dianetics at sixteen while rummaging through my dad's book stash and I flipped through a few pages, it got me hooked. For those of you who've read Dianetics, you'd know its pretty much the modern day Bible with like over 1,000 pages on how man can achieve perfection in his life. Dianetics was pretty much THE book that started the whole self-help book and tv phenonmeon, written by a man who previously published science fiction, Dianetics went on to make assloads of money and became a cult in its own right.
But whats interesting is that I've always held a naive view of Dianetics, when I read it, I didn't catch any sinister vibes, I thought it was an entertaining read with some seemingly well thought-out ideas. Little did I know that it was a malicious exploitation of the human condition, the yearning to improve ourselves and diminish our pains. L. Ron Hubbard is one evil fuck.
So today I came across this interview that was published in Penthouse (wtf, they have interviews?) and it just blew me away. Its an interview focusing on the son of Hubbard and his involvement within the organization and origin of Scientology.
It really speaks volumes about the guillibility of the masses and their desperate search for purpose in this life. Can we as human beings possibly be this disconnected to the world around us that we have to have someone tell us how to live our lives? I unfortunately have to agree that yes, we are that desperate. Look at how Hitler managed to persuade all of Germany to unite for a common goal, it takes a very methodical and ruthless person to become fixated in this mindset of accumulating power, no matter what the cost. What really boggles the mind, is how brutually effective propaganda and 'herd' mentalities are. Its a scary commentary on the human species to admit that when it comes down to it, our individuality and confidence in ourselves are often seriously compromised in the face of adversity, regardless of how irrational it is. And men like Hubbard and Hitler, have exploited this weakness in the human condition on a massive scale, with apparently little remorse for their actions.
It makes me sick.
I think organized religion is the most sloppy and haphazard way of achieving inner peace and acceptance of your place in the cosmos. Religion is a personal journey that is different for each person, and doesn't require that you turn your brain off and sing hymns every Sunday morning at church. Yes, we don't have to take any religion or doctrine at face value, no one religion can ever hold all the answers. And its very likely that no one will ever really know what the meaning of life is, or what awaits us after death.
Organized religion is like a box of puzzle pieces waiting to be assembled. Except that no one has all the pieces to fill out the 'big' picture. I think its up to the individual to ascertain which piece goes where into their OWN world view and not whatever delusion their peers or the majority supports.
Maybe the truly enlightened, are the ones that most ignore asking the big questions. Really, is the effort even worth it?
Life goes on.
I must say, what the fuck?
I've never even heard of Nacho Libre but thats the coolest fucking idea ever. My gringo ass will be most pleased.
Anyone read up on Scientology? Thanks to Tom Cruise going apeshit on Oprah a while back, Scientology is in the spotlight after a long hiatus and it ain't pretty. I was first exposed to Dianetics at sixteen while rummaging through my dad's book stash and I flipped through a few pages, it got me hooked. For those of you who've read Dianetics, you'd know its pretty much the modern day Bible with like over 1,000 pages on how man can achieve perfection in his life. Dianetics was pretty much THE book that started the whole self-help book and tv phenonmeon, written by a man who previously published science fiction, Dianetics went on to make assloads of money and became a cult in its own right.
But whats interesting is that I've always held a naive view of Dianetics, when I read it, I didn't catch any sinister vibes, I thought it was an entertaining read with some seemingly well thought-out ideas. Little did I know that it was a malicious exploitation of the human condition, the yearning to improve ourselves and diminish our pains. L. Ron Hubbard is one evil fuck.
So today I came across this interview that was published in Penthouse (wtf, they have interviews?) and it just blew me away. Its an interview focusing on the son of Hubbard and his involvement within the organization and origin of Scientology.
It really speaks volumes about the guillibility of the masses and their desperate search for purpose in this life. Can we as human beings possibly be this disconnected to the world around us that we have to have someone tell us how to live our lives? I unfortunately have to agree that yes, we are that desperate. Look at how Hitler managed to persuade all of Germany to unite for a common goal, it takes a very methodical and ruthless person to become fixated in this mindset of accumulating power, no matter what the cost. What really boggles the mind, is how brutually effective propaganda and 'herd' mentalities are. Its a scary commentary on the human species to admit that when it comes down to it, our individuality and confidence in ourselves are often seriously compromised in the face of adversity, regardless of how irrational it is. And men like Hubbard and Hitler, have exploited this weakness in the human condition on a massive scale, with apparently little remorse for their actions.
It makes me sick.
I think organized religion is the most sloppy and haphazard way of achieving inner peace and acceptance of your place in the cosmos. Religion is a personal journey that is different for each person, and doesn't require that you turn your brain off and sing hymns every Sunday morning at church. Yes, we don't have to take any religion or doctrine at face value, no one religion can ever hold all the answers. And its very likely that no one will ever really know what the meaning of life is, or what awaits us after death.
Organized religion is like a box of puzzle pieces waiting to be assembled. Except that no one has all the pieces to fill out the 'big' picture. I think its up to the individual to ascertain which piece goes where into their OWN world view and not whatever delusion their peers or the majority supports.
Maybe the truly enlightened, are the ones that most ignore asking the big questions. Really, is the effort even worth it?
Life goes on.
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