my mother is easily excited when it comes to the most inane things, one of those happen to be her belief that homemade foods do NOT compare with anything else on the planet. This ticks me off, I mean why should some apple cake made by an unprofessional chef be decidedly "better" than oh say.. apple pie at McDonalds? Its not! but because its "home made" my mother foams at the mouth over it. "You've got to try some! ITS HOME MADE!!" and when she shoves this visually unappetizing dish directly onto my eyeballs, I'm often tempted to get into questioning the origin of said substance.
Who made this? How old is she/he? How long has she/he been cooking for? Why is this better than crumbled no-name apple cake from Superstore? Does the person observe general cleanliness while preparing this dish? I don't know about you, but when I eat something that has been 'homemade', I picture some sweaty grandma with poor vision allowing a few stray armpit hairs fall into the cooking pot, and she'd use this greasy spatula with a fuzzy residue on the edges. And thats for strangers. For people I know, I simply question whether or not they cook these things in the nude.
Let me tell you about mass-produced corporate foods. They all started as recipes. Some of them have been in families for generations before being manufactured on a commercial level and distributed to the masses for their immediate and souless consumption. Pilsbury has perfected the art of making some kick ass oven-baked cookies that rival and surpass most other 'home made' cookies I've had in the past. And they observe the rules of cleanliness by having these hardcore MACHINES do all the grunt work in a completely sterilized and airtight bubble that NASA designed.
What does suck about mass-manufactured foods are the preservatives and DNA-altering chemicals that are inadvertently added into their products. Still, you can't argue with foods that millions of people happily purchase each and every day. Except of course, store-brought pizza.
...E3 this week, blueprint final, math final, theory final, shop final and the provincial exams. Its the last big crunch before I finally finish the course. If I can make it through this week unscathed, I will insert a webcam onto this page and point it at my crotch. Or not.
...we'll see.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Monday, May 09, 2005
delineation, dissemination, dissarray
damn...! its been a while since i last posted on here, here's the poop.
school is going fine, 91% on my theory test today and I even argued over some answers which gave me a +2 to my overall ass-kickage.
my step dad got himself a $35,000 suv over the weekend, a 2004 dodge durango, which made my left eye twitch in jealousy. look at this thing.
it has enough room in it for don and at least two of his girlfriends! ha ha! (sorry bro)
and ohhhh get this, I happened to be shopping for a gift for my momma on saturday and found this dvd at the local walmart:
its kung phooey! a movie that takes a very different approach to "comedy". Its hard to describe, but kung phooey is written in a way so that a joke appears every six seconds and it uses so much improvisation that I was left wondering exactly how big the shooting script was. two pages? damn!
kung poo-ey is by and large, a film that a group of stoned and/or drunk friends can awkwardly giggle over. I dont remember if there are any boobs in it, but there are some hot whasian woman (1/2 white, 1/2 asian) in a catfight, so there's something for the pervs to enjoy as well.
and it only costed me six dollars and eighty-eight cents! good god, i feel like going back to the store and laying down another ten bucks on the counter, its that sexy.
they even had this there:
tony scott can play with my balls anytime he so wishes. yes, this also is only six dollars and eighty-eight cents. you'll have to rummage for it in the bottom of the bin though.
sorry for the lack of capital letters today. i have a suspicion that every time you hit the shift key, somebody takes a shit and doesn't flush the toilet.
school is going fine, 91% on my theory test today and I even argued over some answers which gave me a +2 to my overall ass-kickage.
my step dad got himself a $35,000 suv over the weekend, a 2004 dodge durango, which made my left eye twitch in jealousy. look at this thing.
it has enough room in it for don and at least two of his girlfriends! ha ha! (sorry bro)
and ohhhh get this, I happened to be shopping for a gift for my momma on saturday and found this dvd at the local walmart:
its kung phooey! a movie that takes a very different approach to "comedy". Its hard to describe, but kung phooey is written in a way so that a joke appears every six seconds and it uses so much improvisation that I was left wondering exactly how big the shooting script was. two pages? damn!
kung poo-ey is by and large, a film that a group of stoned and/or drunk friends can awkwardly giggle over. I dont remember if there are any boobs in it, but there are some hot whasian woman (1/2 white, 1/2 asian) in a catfight, so there's something for the pervs to enjoy as well.
and it only costed me six dollars and eighty-eight cents! good god, i feel like going back to the store and laying down another ten bucks on the counter, its that sexy.
they even had this there:
tony scott can play with my balls anytime he so wishes. yes, this also is only six dollars and eighty-eight cents. you'll have to rummage for it in the bottom of the bin though.
sorry for the lack of capital letters today. i have a suspicion that every time you hit the shift key, somebody takes a shit and doesn't flush the toilet.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
frying bugs with my magnifying glass
So I came across two videos recently that have just utterly decimated any spare thought in my brain. These videos have CONSUMED me to the point that I actually google'd out info about them.
This video I first saw on wtfpeople.com, and I nearly choked once it started playing. This John Daker guy is fucking hilarious! I love the way he'd introduce his name right when the piano plays, and how he segues into Dean Martin's "Thats Amore" which is a song that I sometimes mumble to myself. But not like this! Not THE JOHN DAKER WAY! This guy completely and totally ANNIHILATES the original version! He hums over certain lines, incoherently mumbles over words and has these funny as fuck facial expressions throughout the entire thing. Notice his apologetic grin near the end of his set, I LOVE IT!
Its one thing to appreciate bad singing, its another to be caught up in the mystery of wondering who these people are. What lives do they lead? Are they doctors, nurses, garbagemen, unemployed heroin addicts? Do they have family?
So I went out on the prowl for more information about John Daker. This is the first time I've ever shown real interest in knowing the story behind those intranet videos. I'm sure a lot of people watch video clips that they get from friends over the internet or on web sites, but those people never really consider the story behind any of those. Which is a shame, since I think those videos are really something quite special.
So I found this:
My Name is John Daker
Thats like the unofficial, official website dedicated to that video. I was amazed and close to creaming my pants when I discovered that I watched just a small CLIP of John Daker, and that on that website, was the ENTIRE show in DiVX format! Anyone know how to convert from .wmv to a dvd video file format? heh.
As I watched this video, I was uh.. baffled. After a while it got a little addictive to watch as its sitting right here on the desktop awaiting that double-click of my mouse. So it grew on me, and I went to see if there was any more stuff by the band/guy.
Lo and behold! I ended up finding the official website! Here I go to play the song, wtf.. the song is completely different! There's no "fuck yeah!" in the chorus, its cut differently, I smelled a rat. Turns out this was the ORIGINAL version of the video which can actually be purchased via a donation (of any amount, got ten cents?). And that the "fuck yeah!" was really a video made by an ambitious bunch of guys with too much time on their hands. Not only did they re-edit the video to sync their own music to, but they recorded a completely different song for it as well! Nice job.
edit: after further sleuthing, I have discovered that the parody song is from Team America: World Police. By the Orgazmo guys!
And in addition to the official website, I found this flash spoof OF the spoof! Check this out, its got Dubya! And yet another flash spoof (awesomely done).
Yay for school, its tomorrow morning :P
John Daker
This video I first saw on wtfpeople.com, and I nearly choked once it started playing. This John Daker guy is fucking hilarious! I love the way he'd introduce his name right when the piano plays, and how he segues into Dean Martin's "Thats Amore" which is a song that I sometimes mumble to myself. But not like this! Not THE JOHN DAKER WAY! This guy completely and totally ANNIHILATES the original version! He hums over certain lines, incoherently mumbles over words and has these funny as fuck facial expressions throughout the entire thing. Notice his apologetic grin near the end of his set, I LOVE IT!
Its one thing to appreciate bad singing, its another to be caught up in the mystery of wondering who these people are. What lives do they lead? Are they doctors, nurses, garbagemen, unemployed heroin addicts? Do they have family?
So I went out on the prowl for more information about John Daker. This is the first time I've ever shown real interest in knowing the story behind those intranet videos. I'm sure a lot of people watch video clips that they get from friends over the internet or on web sites, but those people never really consider the story behind any of those. Which is a shame, since I think those videos are really something quite special.
So I found this:
My Name is John Daker
Thats like the unofficial, official website dedicated to that video. I was amazed and close to creaming my pants when I discovered that I watched just a small CLIP of John Daker, and that on that website, was the ENTIRE show in DiVX format! Anyone know how to convert from .wmv to a dvd video file format? heh.
America We Stand As One...
As I watched this video, I was uh.. baffled. After a while it got a little addictive to watch as its sitting right here on the desktop awaiting that double-click of my mouse. So it grew on me, and I went to see if there was any more stuff by the band/guy.
Lo and behold! I ended up finding the official website! Here I go to play the song, wtf.. the song is completely different! There's no "fuck yeah!" in the chorus, its cut differently, I smelled a rat. Turns out this was the ORIGINAL version of the video which can actually be purchased via a donation (of any amount, got ten cents?). And that the "fuck yeah!" was really a video made by an ambitious bunch of guys with too much time on their hands. Not only did they re-edit the video to sync their own music to, but they recorded a completely different song for it as well! Nice job.
edit: after further sleuthing, I have discovered that the parody song is from Team America: World Police. By the Orgazmo guys!
And in addition to the official website, I found this flash spoof OF the spoof! Check this out, its got Dubya! And yet another flash spoof (awesomely done).
Yay for school, its tomorrow morning :P
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